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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think dsis should leave her lodgings?

57 replies

namechange101010 · 26/10/2014 17:07

DSis recently moved to a new area and into lodgings, a large room in a house shared with the landlady and two other lodgers. They have shared use of the kitchen and the lodgers have a separate bathroom from the landlady. When DSis looked at the house she noticed that some of the furniture in her room had polythene over the top, but assumed that was because it was new; she also saw a newspaper on the floor in the bathroom, but thought that was just temporary. Landlady seemed very pleasant, room was nice so she took it.

However, having moved in she has discovered there are all sorts of rules. After a shower the landlady expects them not just to clean the shower but to dry it. The newspaper is always on the floor in the bathroom, and if it gets at all wet they're expected to replace it. They have designated days for washing, and mustn't have washing drying in their rooms - there is a rack, but it's way too small for the average wash. They have to sign in when they are using the internet, and it goes off automatically at midnight. Although they are supposed to be free to cook in the kitchen, the one time DSis tried it the landlady was hovering round and, when she spilt a couple of drops of water on the top of the cooker the LL insisted that she clean it up there and then, giving a lecture about how she must check under the rings on the cooker. When she'd finished, LL insisted that she wash up the pans immediately whilst her food got cold. Since then, DSis has lived off salads and sandwiches made in her room (she has a fridge), she can't face the hassle of using the kitchen.

DSis is just miserable and already hates going back there. She can give a month's notice but feels bad about moving out so quickly. We've told her she should get out as soon as she can find somewhere else - the landlady really should have told her about all these rules and regulations before she moved in. What does MN think?

OP posts:
KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 26/10/2014 17:09

I'd move straight out.

No notice.

londonrach · 26/10/2014 17:10

Leave...

Andrewofgg · 26/10/2014 17:15

Find somewhere new, get out, and leave LL a letter telling her why.This is insanity.

FeelingBlue29 · 26/10/2014 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

skylark2 · 26/10/2014 17:25

"the landlady really should have told her about all these rules and regulations before she moved in."

This. I hope you get someone legal-ish giving you a better opinion, but I wouldn't think she needs to give notice as the LL isn't being reasonable. That's not "free to cook in the kitchen".

How long has she been there? I'm presuming it's minimal as she has barely used the kitchen. If she's been putting up with it for months without saying anything, she's got less of an argument that she can't give another month's notice.

What do the other lodgers think? Are they allowed to cook in the kitchen without unreasonable rules being applied on a minute by minute basis?

squoosh · 26/10/2014 17:28

She needs to leave straight away unless it means losing a deposit.

Why would such a control freak think having lodgers would be a good idea?

Hatespiders · 26/10/2014 17:30

The LL is a nutcase. Your sis should give in her notice at once and find somewhere else. I worry about what else the LL may do. She's definitely unhinged.

TheBatteriesHaveRunOut · 26/10/2014 17:31

I think she should get out asap and hide prawns in all the curtain poles before she goes.

thursday · 26/10/2014 17:33

I wouldn't be feeling bad for moving out, it's the LLs fault. Run!! It's a bit league of gentleman. Confused

namechange101010 · 26/10/2014 17:35

She's been there around two weeks, skylark. From what DSis says, neither of the other lodgers uses the kitchen either, or at least she's never seen them in there. She thinks one has been there around a month, the other has been there a bit longer.

I think she ought to be able to go now and recover the rent she's paid, but it probably isn't worth the hassle.

OP posts:
Jolleigh · 26/10/2014 17:35

There's allocated times for laundry, it's not allowed to dry anywhere undesignated, she's supervised and harrassed in the kitchen, internet access (presumably included in the rent) is denied after 12 and they have to dry the shower? Get her out, no notice given. If the landlady says anything about breaching agreements, she should be able to point out the things she hasn't agreed to that are being forced upon her. I certainly wouldn't live like that. Perhaps this LL shouldn't have lodgers if she can't allow them to live without all her restrictions.

If someone expected me to wash up while my tea went cold, I'd laugh at them through my mouthful of yummy hot food.

namechange101010 · 26/10/2014 17:38

The odd thing is that although the LL seems to be obsessive about cleanliness, apparently the hall badly needs to be redecorated and is a classic dirt trap.

OP posts:
OnlyLovers · 26/10/2014 17:45

I'd leave and not feel bad about not giving notice.

thursday, it IS very League of Gentlemen isn't it? 'into which we do NOT pass solids.' Grin

Virginiaplain1 · 26/10/2014 17:46

This reminds me of a series of YouTube videos I found in which a landlord "helpfully" showed his tenants how to load the dishwasher correctly (according to his exacting standards) how to close a door quietly etc. I've not been able to find them again - perhaps he realised how much of a tit he was coming across as and deleted them. I'd tell your DSis to get out as fast as she can!

alltoomuchrightnow · 26/10/2014 17:46

the LL is insane ! your sister must run for the hills! I wouldnt last five minutes there

Revenant · 26/10/2014 17:47

Yes she needs to go. A shared flat would probably be much better than lodging tbh.
I heard a landlady in the hairdressers the other week who was loudly talking about the rules for her tenants, which included designated washing days and limited kitchen use, so microwave ready meals only to be used, and it was preferred if tenants went home at the weekends too. You have to wonder why such people let rooms in the first place when they clearly hate other people being in their house.

ImperialBlether · 26/10/2014 17:51

She can't lay down regulations after your sister's moved in. In your sister's position I'd get somewhere else to live and tell the landlady in no uncertain terms why she's leaving. I wouldn't feel obliged to give any notice. Tbh, the thought of living with a woman like that while you're under notice is really horrible.

Andrewofgg · 26/10/2014 18:04

And in th3e meantime I would cook in the kitchen and just ignore the demand that she wash the pans at once. No, I'm going to have my dinner while it's hot, then I will wash the pans is, as they say on MN, a more than complete sentence.

avocadotoast · 26/10/2014 18:55

That sounds horrible! She needs to get out of there asap. My sister used to live in a similar situation (although not quite as bad as this I don't think; although when I started reading this post I thought it could be the same house).

She ended up having to negotiate her notice and they screwed her over on the deposit. Not worth the hassle in staying.

namechange101010 · 26/10/2014 19:34

DSis' problem is that she hates giving offence. However, she has quite a stressful job and I really think she needs somewhere to live where she can relax and be comfortable, and this isn't it. So I hope she can grit her teeth and walk as soon as she finds somewhere else.

OP posts:
Hatespiders · 26/10/2014 19:41

I had some strange LLs when I was a student. One was a bit like this one. She was obsessed with winding up the flex on the vacuum cleaner. "NOT round the hook, but loosely, so as not to damage the connection..." And she informed me that she had marked her private whisky bottle so if I entered her sitting room when she was out, she'd know. I was quite scared of her, and got out as soon as I could. There are some strange folk out there...

FoxgloveFairy · 26/10/2014 19:42

Love the League of Gentlemen reference. Very apt. The poor nephew who had to wear special slippers to restore the weft in the carpet and "no solids in the upstairs lavatory" rule. This landlady sounds insane! Your sister needs to escape ASAP I think!

pluCaChange · 26/10/2014 19:44

It's not like a job! Leaving after a month or less is not going to look bad on her life's record; in fact, it will do her the world of good.

For a First World problem (and I hope that doesn't sound sarcastic), this is a pretty bloody intolerable one!

KatyMac · 26/10/2014 19:48

DD is in lodgings - wonderful ones

This is not right

Cantbelievethisishappening · 26/10/2014 19:52

This sounds hideous. LL sounds like one I had years and years ago who used to barge into my room without knocking to hoover at 6am on a Saturday. She also used to weigh out cornflakes into my bowl Hmm
Your sis needs to feel relaxed in her home.... this is not going to happen here.