My brother has a girlfriend and I don't like her!

[Annunziata]

He is very old (sometimes people think he is my daddy, but he's not). Today he has brought home a girlfriend.

He was sitting on the couch holding her hand Even worse, I saw him kissing her! Ewwww!

Of course I went straight over and interrupted that.

What on earth should I do? She has brought me chocolate buttons and I really want the chocolate buttons but I am very suspicious. AIBU?

Love, BabyAnnun, age 18 months.

Puke on her, if she puts up with that, she's a keeper

Or hold a sticky lollipop whilst stroking her hair!

She was BU bring chocolate buttons, this means you'll have to share scheming hussy

Eat the chocolate buttons, then wipe your fingers on her top.

Do what my sil did to me, ignore her, grunt at her and barely look at her when she says hello, talk about her right in front of her, talk about her to other people in sight so they turn and look at her...soon enough she will loathe you, and ignore you.

Chocolate buttons at your age?

Report the bitch to the Police

After you've eaten them

I get very sticky when I eat chocolate buttons, that's a good idea. It goes everywhere!

I really like chocolate buttons. I have been up since 5.30am so I think it is time for a sugar boost.

Share your buttons with her...but only ones you've managed to add snot and drool too.

Don't bother weeing on her - I tried that and she's still on the scene nearly 50 years later. Scheming bag made me love her, there's no getting rid now.

But that would be all my buttons WeirdCatLady!

I don't want to share my brother for 50 whole years! He's mine.

I'm 4 and my brother isn't allowed a girlfriend! He is like old now but still no. He hasn't even dare bring a girl home.

Don't give up!

EatDereksCorpseSister

Shriek very loudly every time she comes near you. Your brother will think babies instinctively dislike her and this will colour his view of her. Resist the chocolate button bribe. It's difficult but will pay off in the end. He will be yours. Forever.

Walk past her, fall over, wail loudly then point to her. With a bit of luck he will think she pushed you over!

Kill her with kidneys, when she plays with you scream blue murder every time she dares to put you down.

Kill her with kidneys Piper?

Go in and waken her and him up at 5.30 tomorrow morning when they are staying over for the very first time. I did that. I was 5.

Love biggestsmashboxcousin

It was piper, in the nursery, with some offal.

That's a load of tripe Mrsmorton

Have a heart, she can't be all bad

Liver let live I say. They're in love. Leave them alone..

Why are you all being so offal?

Encourage her to pick you up, when she does, go very very stiff, throw your head backwards and moo loudly. When she puts you down in alarm, go very very floppy, lie on the floor and say 'she hurted me'.

Do not under any circumstances share your buttons.

I think if you can't say anything nice you should hold your tongue

Don't let this opportunity pass you by. She will be out to impress and you should totally milk the situation. Make her play phones with you over and over and over again. And then cars. And then tea party. And then high fives. And then peek a boo. Make that brother stealing young up start work for it.

I think if you can't say anything nice you should hold your tongue

Don't worry, I took all of your advice, I ate half of my buttons and then I spat the rest out into her hand. Then I glared at her all through dinner.

I was so cross I had to stay up well past my bedtime!

My daddy says I should ask my granny for advice, I think I might just do that.