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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Distance to nursery and back - WIBU?

42 replies

TouchOfNatural · 26/10/2014 08:34

A friend is looking at sending her child to a lovely nursery about 10 minutes walk from the station. She's happy to do the 20 minute drop off and collection as she leaves her buggy at the nursery, and she loves the nursery.

Her DH is adamant they need to find a nursery that's much closer to the station. He doesn't want to walk far he says. Especially on bad weather days. But they cannot find a nursery they like in their area that is much closer to the station.

I see his point and I see her point. This is causing huge tensions as she doesn't want to lose a place that's being held at the nursery while they decide. He doesn't want to walk far. They will share the school run.

Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
BankWadger · 26/10/2014 08:36

He is. 10 minutes is not far. He is being lazy.

Icimoi · 26/10/2014 08:37

He doesn't want to do 20 minutes' walk? What's the matter with him? Unless the weather is totally diabolical - and I'm talking major storm, in which case he can get a taxi - it can only be good for him.

iamdivergent · 26/10/2014 08:37

10mins is not far - I had to bus for 35mins then a 15mins walk to get my dd2 to nursery. Unfortunately we had no other options but I'd have loved a 10mins walk

waithorse · 26/10/2014 08:37

A 10 minute walk is nothing, I don't get the issue. Confused

LIZS · 26/10/2014 08:38

They both are by not deciding jointly in the first place what the priorities were . 10 minutes isn't long though. Has he visited or left it to her ? Are you the "friend" btw ?

Mrsgrumble · 26/10/2014 08:39

Go for the better nursery, always, IMO

We go out of our way for cm that is lovely and bit more expensive but so worth it. He needs to think of his child's needs before his own.

LIZS · 26/10/2014 08:40

Is he concerned that with train times , and possible delays, he won't make the pick up time ?

ChillingGrinBloodLover · 26/10/2014 08:42

I think I might need more [coffee].

I can't quite picture why the nursery, being a 10 minute walk from the station, is making it a 20 minute journey. Where is the house/car? Which end of the trip is the nursery?

... and while I'm asking daft questions. Unless there is a nursery next door to them (which I assume he would have noticed), how much closer than a 10 minute walk would he like the nursery to be?

SoggyOldBiscuit · 26/10/2014 09:02

I think the 20 minutes is 10 minutes, twice a day.

A 10 minute walk is really close, how much closer does he expect?

PiperIsOrange · 26/10/2014 09:09

Dc school is about 10 minutes walk, so umbrellas, wellies and good water proof coat gloves hat and scarf and we are set for the winter until gloves gets left in school

Original poster
TouchOfNatural · 26/10/2014 09:09

I am not the friend, no. I do not have children :)

They walk from their house past the station (5 mins from house to station) to get to the nursery (5 mins beyond the station), back to the station and on to work which is 25 or so minutes away.

OP posts:
Original poster
TouchOfNatural · 26/10/2014 09:13

I think for him the issue is having to pass the station to get to the nursery on the other side ... When he just wants to get to work ;) She's now saying she'll do both school runs but I think he really needs to step up to the plate. A good nursery is worth their weight in gold!!! And it's not that far IMO.

OP posts:
smashboxmashbox · 26/10/2014 09:15

They shouldn't have booked a place unless they were both happy with it.

It would piss me off every day to walk past the station to drop a child and nursery and then have to walk back. But. I am lazy and hate mornings.

PiperIsOrange · 26/10/2014 09:15

I don't understand in the uk many people are not prepared for winter months.

It's not like we have freak weather that never happens.

Every winter it's cold wet and windy, sometimes we have snow.

I can understand not being prepared for snow as we don't have it often.

Original poster
TouchOfNatural · 26/10/2014 09:16

Sorry... I think I confused things... The nursery isn't 10 minutes from the station, it's 10 minutes for them to get there, then back to the station another 5 or so.

Sorry, early morning brain freeze Blush

OP posts:
JuniperTisane · 26/10/2014 09:18

5 minutes walk on from the station? That can't be more than a few hundred yards, surely? How likely is it that there is a nearer nursery? Most people would consider that extraordinarily lucky to have everything so close.

smashboxmashbox · 26/10/2014 09:18

But why did she sign up for a nursery if he wasn't happy? Surely it should have been a joint decision? Or am I missing something? Confused

lessthanBeau · 26/10/2014 09:20

is there another nursery between their house and the station?

JADS · 26/10/2014 09:21

Your friend is not bu. I could understand if that extra 10 mins was on top of an hour and half train trip, but realistically this an extra 20 mins one day a week!

Are there really loads of other nurseries with spaces in the 5 min walk from their house to the station? This one sounds really convenient

pinkyredrose · 26/10/2014 09:22

Does everyone good to get a bit of exercise IMO. So what if he's got to walk past the station then back again? He's being super lazy. Unless he's got no legs he's BU.

smashboxmashbox · 26/10/2014 09:23

And since she is the one pushing for that nursery, and she is the one who likes it so much, and she seems to not have given him any input into the decision (from what you say) then yes, she should do all the pick ups and drop offs from the nursery.

If she wants him to do half the pick ups and drop offs then he needs to be involved as an equal in the decision around which nursery, surely?

insancerre · 26/10/2014 09:23

Solution - mum does drop offs in the morning as she is happy to walk past station to get to nursery
Dad does pick ups so he goes to nursery first and then home

BoomBoomsCousin · 26/10/2014 09:24

I read it as a 10 min walk past the station, so 20 mins extra on the commute at either end of the day, 40 min total? If that's the case then it doesn't seem ideal. But if there are no other places that are closer, what does her DH suggest?

BoomBoomsCousin · 26/10/2014 09:25

Sorry cross post. So 30 mins a day on top of their commute? I can see why he wants it closer, but it doesn't seem like he can have what he wants.

Stampysladygarden · 26/10/2014 09:26

How much closer would he like the nursery to be? Wow. I really cannot see the issue and think they are lucky to have one so near.