Distance to nursery and back - WIBU?

[TouchOfNatural]

A friend is looking at sending her child to a lovely nursery about 10 minutes walk from the station. She's happy to do the 20 minute drop off and collection as she leaves her buggy at the nursery, and she loves the nursery.

Her DH is adamant they need to find a nursery that's much closer to the station. He doesn't want to walk far he says. Especially on bad weather days. But they cannot find a nursery they like in their area that is much closer to the station.

I see his point and I see her point. This is causing huge tensions as she doesn't want to lose a place that's being held at the nursery while they decide. He doesn't want to walk far. They will share the school run.

Who is being unreasonable?

Do they have any idea how fortunate they are to live 5 minutes away from a station and 10 minutes WALK away from a good nursery and still only have a 25 minute commute to work????

The mind boggles. A lot of people have much longer journeys. I think they need to get over themselves to be honest.

They haven't signed up, the nursery is holding a place while they decide. I think till the end of the month. She has visited twice, he once. He liked it too just doesn't like the fact they're passing the station and doubling back.. Adding on to commuter time.

Insancerre your solution sounds good!

^^ What wing commander said. He's a lazy, ungrateful pillock. The husband that is, not wing commander!

newsflash for him - having kids involves extra work and time. Unless he is disabled (or made of sugar) he is a lazy princess.

tell him to buy a decent coat.

My mind is boggling at living anywhere with enough child care you could have a choice, round here several miles drive is more normal.

Tell him to find a better option?

If it's the right nursery than he BU and a bit of a lazy arse.

BUT

We've just done that for the past 2 years. 15 mins to the station, another 5 mins walk to get to the CM, then drop-off, say goodbye, walk back to the station... It made what should be a 20 min journey to the station on our own into a 30-35 min sprint (and it really was a sprint as well) to get DC to the CM.

After two years it really started to get a bit draining, especially for me as I was doing all the morning drop offs, and we've just changed to a CM about 3 mins from us.

When DD was a baby I didn't care, it was all about the right childcare, the right person to leave my baby with. Now she's nearly 3 the practicalities have taken over. Can that CM do the school or nursery run? How are we going to get DD there once she's too big or heavy for the buggy? Will scooting or walking take too long?

But the way you say he's complaining then he's BU.

My son's nursery is 7 minutes drive from our house. However it takes my husband 45 minutes to get there because he cannot drive, so he has to get a bus and then walk. I do a lot of early morning and late evening site work so when I am not at home he has to make the long journey with son in pram.
There is a nursery 5 minutes walk from our house but it has a bad OfSted rating so we both agree it is better for our son to make the longer trip.

So it is a 15 minute round trip from station to nursery then home or vice versa. That sounds about as close as you are likely to get tbh unless there are other options. If that walk passes several others then they should consider all the options.

No one has mentioned what sort of walk DH has to work once he gets to his destination station? If he's already walking 40 minutes at the other end, I can see that the idea of an extra 10 minutes is the straw that broke the camel's back.

Also, it's not just the walking time, but the fact of everyone having to get up earlier. It may feel that getting up an extra 20 minutes earlier (and IME you need a minimum of 5 minutes to get into a nursery, hand over child, put child belongings away, fold down buggy, reorganise buggy cupboard to get buggy in ...) is just too much.

Of course if there isn't another alternative it's a case of needs must. But if there is another alternative I think it's reasonable to point out that the benefits of less travel/getting up later need to be considered versus the nursery potentially being slightly less "good".

10 minutes walk is nothing but walking past when you have to be (the station) doesnt feel good so understand both points of view.

Tbh it depends what the other options are. If they also walk past s perfectly "good enough" nursery on the way to the station then I can see that would grate in time. But if they haven't got another good enough option then they should go with the first choice nursery.
Whatever happens she should not do more drops or pickups just cause he can't be arsed!!!

Actually... I cycle my ds to nursery - using a bike would make that extra 5min unnoticeable. He could leave his bike at the station.
We put a sling in the nursery bag so if I drop ds by bike dh can still collect him with the sling.

It is a 5 minute walk past the station and a 5 minute walk back to where the station is (to either get the train or walk 5 minutes home). Other than someone setting up a nursery IN the station I can't see what he's hoping for?

FFS.

No way should she do all of the nursery runs unless he can find another nursery, that's just as good, that's closer and she refuses to use it. He's a parent, it takes effort.

He sounds like an idiot, and I wonder if he is trying to put obstacles in the way because he doesn't really want his wife to go back to work?

Thanks or all your helpful replies. Love the cycling reply too .. I'm seeing them on Tuesday and can feed back ideas