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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be hacked off that dp hasn't/doesn't finish me off too?

43 replies

kiwicatastrophe · 26/10/2014 06:52

How many of your dp's are this selfish?? He initiates it every bloody day and then as soon as he's come (2 minutes later) it just stops. He doesn't care if I come or not. It leaves me feeling really unwanted even when I know im not. So selfish!

OP posts:
sleeplessbunny · 26/10/2014 06:53

Selfish indeed. But have you told him?

PiperRose · 26/10/2014 06:53

Stop having sex with him. Tell him why.

Original poster
kiwicatastrophe · 26/10/2014 06:56

sort of..
piper rose that's not going to make him want to finish me though is it? if he wanted to pleasure me too he would do it wouldn't he. I don't want to be some kind of chore.

OP posts:
ChillingGrinBloodLover · 26/10/2014 06:57

You might find it a lot more beneficial to tell him than a bunch of randoms on the internet.

I'm not a convenient wank sock. I wouldn't keep going back for more if I was treat like that - why do you?

ScrambledEggAndToast · 26/10/2014 06:58

Tell him you are not a hole to be wanked into and until he sorts his act out and gives you some pleasure then he can stuff off.

ChillingGrinBloodLover · 26/10/2014 06:58

x post

OK - so why are you staying with someone who treats you like a WS? and I dare say just as badly out of bed.

NewEraNewMindset · 26/10/2014 06:59

Kiwi you really are allowed to have some involvement in your sex life, you don't have to allow him to us you as a masturbatory tool.

Sit him down today and tell him you aren't happy with your sex life and why and what you want him to do to make it better. If he tries and then reverts back, stop agreeing to have sex with him.

smashboxmashbox · 26/10/2014 06:59

There is no way I would be with someone who was as crap and selfish at sex as that. Why did he make it the length of DP-ness and not get binned off at Boyfriend-ness?

rightsaidthread · 26/10/2014 07:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gamerchick · 26/10/2014 07:02

Tell him you would like him to bring you off first before intercourse even happens. Some men need trained up to stop believing that sex starts and ends with their dick.

StitchWitch · 26/10/2014 07:02

I had a boyfriend who tried this a couple of times early on and got a proper telling off each time until he mended his ways. It's not ok, unless it's been agreed that you're up for it but don't feel like you're going to cum. Made me feel like I was providing a professional service. YANBU but you need to tell him how you feel.

AuntieStella · 26/10/2014 07:03

As you say DP (not boyfriend) I'm assuming you've been together some years.

Has your sex life always been like this?

What is the rest of your relationship like?

Longdistance · 26/10/2014 07:03

Sex STRIKE!

It's the only way.

JapaneseMargaret · 26/10/2014 07:04

I don't want to be some kind of chore.

And yet, it doesn't bother him in the slightest that it's a complete chore for you..?!

lemonpuffbiscuit · 26/10/2014 07:05

Tell him it's your turn to come first. Don't do what you usually do, what ever that is!

Flingmoo · 26/10/2014 07:16

There is a small possibility that the DP in question isn't 100% selfish but is maybe just a bit clueless or shy when it comes to getting a woman off... However, even if this is the case, he absolutely must learn!

Charitybelle · 26/10/2014 07:19

Just make sure you go first. I wouldn't even bother talking about it, just make it clear physically what you want to happen, and if he doesn't play ball, feign disinterest and say you're not in the mood anymore. Repeat until he gets the picture.
Me and my DH always do it this way round, precisely because he's too tired after he's 'finished' so it's easier to do all the fun stuff first and then get round to him.

Original poster
kiwicatastrophe · 26/10/2014 07:29

He's not like this In other areas. and when he has made the effort it's been brilliant. its not always been like this.
Anyway it's ahem, sorted now Wink
Nothing to see here.
Move along.. move along

OP posts:
BlueberryWafer · 26/10/2014 07:35

Could it be that DP is completely unaware that there's more to it than that? Maybe he needs a bit of guidance. Have a chat with him and just say that you would like some foreplay before the main event! Say you really enjoy orgasming from oral sex or that you struggle to finish from sex alone so would like it if you could do some other things first.

If it turns out he's a actually just selfish and lazy in the bedroom then tell him to bog off Grin

BlueberryWafer · 26/10/2014 07:36

Ah just seen your last post - glad you've sorted it out with him Smile

Rebecca2014 · 26/10/2014 07:46

You are a cum dumper. Sorry to be crude but if you are only having sex for two minutes, that what you are there for.

maras2 · 26/10/2014 08:14

Sheesh.I know that the clocks have gone back ......... but to last Friday? Grin

BlueberryWafer · 26/10/2014 09:00

Eh?

maras2 · 26/10/2014 09:05

blueberry Used to be that Friday night was sex night ( though usually bum sex ) back in the day.

Golferman · 26/10/2014 09:11

I get more pleasure making my wife gum loads first , record eleven times the other night Grin not boasting