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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have given these kids on the bus a real bollocking?

99 replies

Cundtbake · 24/10/2014 18:11

I'm fuming.

DS and I were on the bus at around half 3 when all the school kids were coming home. The young teens in question were from a school near me and I'm considering also phoning the school and informing them of what happened today.

When we got on the bus these kids were standing up in the buggy area. DS and I sat down near them and another girl, also from the school, boarded the bus. Said girl had Down's syndrome.

The group burst out laughing when she walked past. One of them loudly queried to her friend why she was getting the bus on her own and her mum hadn't picked her up. Another said 'Eugh I didn't know she was on the bus don't let her touch me'. It was a short bus journey but there were continuous glances and giggles and disgusted looks.

We all got off at the same stop and as the girl got off the bus she brushed past someone in the group who proceeded to screech loudly and make disgusted noises.

I lost it and shouted at them all how disgusted I was at their behaviour. I asked if their parents would be proud of them and how dare they treat a human being like that etc etc. I didn't say anything really rude but I was shouting and now I'm wondering if I was OTT as they are someone else's children but I was so upset by what I saw.

Was I being unreasonable? And would it be unreasonable of me to also report to their school?

OP posts:

prettywhiteguitar · 24/10/2014 18:22

Definitely did the right thing and write it down with a description of the offending children, the time and the bus then ring the school. Might be half term so give it a week if they don't answer.

I complained about the behaviour of some of the local school kids on the bus route and the school was very interested and acted on the info.

Don't be scared to speak up, they are still kids and need to learn how to behave , if no one tells them they think it's ok.

Btw it is better not to totally lose it but I can see why you did

merrymouse · 24/10/2014 18:24

Well done OP!

Yes, contact the school. If nobody is aware of this behaviour, nothing can be done to change it.

3pigsinblanketsandasausagerole · 24/10/2014 18:24

Ywnu

I would have acted the same and I would be contacting the school and demanding something is done

Topseyt · 24/10/2014 18:25

I think you did the right thing. They were being bullies, and all trying to show off to their mates. Each one of them on their own probably wouldn't have been so brazen.

I hate bullying in any of its forms, but it is even worse when it happens because someone has a disability.

girliefriend · 24/10/2014 18:26

How horrible and the poor girl

Ring the school and just say as factually as possible what happened, if you can write it all down tonight as well as descriptions of the main perpetrators. Why are some kids so horrible?

merrymouse · 24/10/2014 18:26

Also, if this is going on outside school, it is probably going on inside school, but away from teacher's eys. The report of a neutral bystander may be really helpful to the girl and her family.

ithoughtofitfirst · 24/10/2014 18:26

Yeah it's a really good idea to report it. People would report children from my school for similar things and we would have some kind of assembly about it or watch a video about it. I know that probably isn't very comforting considering what you just saw but it's something . Those children probably rarely turn out to be actual bad people. They just need educating as a pp has said.

ladeedad · 24/10/2014 18:27

Good for you, OP! I would have done the same. Definitely report it to the school.

Pistone · 24/10/2014 18:27

The poor girl, so glad you were there OP to speak up for her. Disgusting horrible kids.

greenbananas · 24/10/2014 18:27

Glad you stood up for this girl. Yes, you must contactthe school.

KateShmate · 24/10/2014 18:28

Good for you OP! Definitely speak to the school about it - maybe write all the main details down incase you can't speak to anyone, or forget something on the phone. Don't all bus's have CCTV on now? (Could be imagining that!) If so, I hope the school take it seriously and try to find the CCTV to see exactly who it was.

morethanpotatoprints · 24/10/2014 18:30

Good for you, and yes report it to the school and tell them the stop they got off too if it was close to houses and not bus station as they will probably be able to identify them.
This is disgusting behaviour and whilst I know my dc would never have been like this I certainly wouldn't complain at them being shouted at for something so serious.

spidey66 · 24/10/2014 18:33

I would have done the same. I hate cruelty to vulnerable people.

I once gave off to a couple of teens who were giving the most vile racist abuse to two shopkeepers, a minimart and an Indian takeaway which were next door to each other. My husband ended up dragging me away.

greenbananas · 24/10/2014 18:33

Just read the thread again. Of course you did the right thing, standing up for this girl, and you must talk to the school, but I'm a bit sad about the cries of "disgusting kids" that I am reading.

It's disgusting behaviour definitely. And it has got to be stopped as soon as possible. However, these kids are not necessarily "disgusting" as people - just young, unempathetic and very ignorant. There's no excuse for their behaviour, but let's not go on a witch hunt!

Some may have been bullied themselves, and have their own issues to deal with... They all need to understand their moral and legal responsibilities to include this girl and make her feel welcome.

There will be some in that crowd who are already uncomfortable with what is going on, and who will welcome an adult legitimising their concerns.

Definitely contact the school!

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 · 24/10/2014 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ApocalypseNowt · 24/10/2014 18:34

YANBU but yes, definitely report it.

I was at a visitor attraction this week and there were a form from a local school there at the same time. They couldn't have been nicer! Really polite and friendly, letting me past with my pram and making room for my DD to get to the front so she could see things.

I managed to catch them name of the form group so i've sent an email complimenting them on their behaviour. I always think it's worth getting in touch to highlight behaviour - good or bad.

LadyLuck10 · 24/10/2014 18:35

Why would you think you were being unreasonable?

Bakeoffcakes · 24/10/2014 18:35

Yes, phone the school.

My dd had a child which Downs on her school bus for 3 years. She was treated with nothing but kindness, they all looked after her. So not all teenagers are like those horrible one you saw today. They deserved to be in trouble with their teachers and parents.

ilovesooty · 24/10/2014 18:36

When you contact the school make very heavy concerned reference to their reputation in the community and offer to go into school and identify the offenders.

Aeroflotgirl · 24/10/2014 18:38

You so did the right thing op. It's so easy to look the other way and do nothing. Those members of public who looked at you disapprovingly probably would do nothing at all. I would have done the same and joined you. Yes report to school with descriptions to the best you can of them. Disgusting individuals. This is why I am very unsure of dd7 going into mainstream, the nasty individuals tgT can be found there picking on vulnerable children.

FurryDogMother · 24/10/2014 18:39

Good for you, OP, that must have taken some guts.

HamishBamish · 24/10/2014 18:39

YANBU, what disgusting behaviour. I would definitely contact the school too.

I have challenged school children about their behaviour on a couple of occasions and also contacted the school. Both times I had a call back from the Headmaster who was very interested and concerned about what I had to say. Action was taken the bullies punished.

I won't stand by and watch someone be victimised, school children or not. good for you OP.

Aeroflotgirl · 24/10/2014 18:40

Look they are disgusting, they are behind their disgusting behaviour. I wonder about the mentality of these kids.

greenbananas · 24/10/2014 18:40

(on a different note, about complimenting young people on their good behaviour...

many years ago, I was working at a service station and noticed a fire in one of the bins on the forecourt. aargh!!! I shut the pumps off as quickly as I could, and raced out with a fire extinguisher, but by the time I got there two 14 year old school kids had helpfully poured water into the bin and put out the fire. I was profuse with my thanks, praised their quick thinking and responsible action, and asked if I could take their names so I could tell their school how amazing they had been. They looked horrified and said, "Oh no, please don't call the school, we are skiving"

Anyway, as you were..)

MummyBeerest · 24/10/2014 18:40

Good on you OP.

I can't imagine why you'd think it unreasonable at all. A girl was being harrassed and you did the right thing by standing up for her. Poor girl.

I'd definitely report it to the school.

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