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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to dislike my nephews?

37 replies

catseyes10 · 24/10/2014 12:28

I get on fine with my SIL but I really can't abide my nephews. They're little brats, scream & fight constantly and because their parents can't be bothered actually parenting them they are constantly on their computers for hours and are in general little shits. My two end up coming back either behaving like them or upset that they wouldn't actually play with them. Just tend to avoid unless inevitable ie they get in totouch because they want something!!

OP posts:
SophiaPetrillo · 24/10/2014 12:46

You can't help the way you feel. I struggled with my DH's twin niece and nephew, born around the same time as my own DD. They weren't badly behaved, they were just weird, they always reminded me of the kids in Village of the Damned and I didn't like being around them. We persevered for "family" but when they were old enough, my own DCs asked if they could stop socialising with them at weekends as they didn't feel welcome or included whilst they were there.

Sparklypants · 24/10/2014 12:49

There'll be a lot of people on here telling you that UABVU and that your nephews are only children. I'm not one of them.

There are certain kids that I can't stand either and I do my best to avoid!
Yes they're kids but if they're not being parented then they're going to be horrible.

RunBikeRun · 24/10/2014 12:55

I can't stand my DH nephew and niece, Their Mum doesn't parent them at all and they are horrible, nasty children. Not their fault but their parents. His brothers kids are lovely and very polite and well behaved, I'm always happy to spend time with them.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 24/10/2014 12:55

I have a hard time with my young niece. She is the product of her father's overindulgence and I know it really grates on my MIL too. DN will do something she knows is naughty, has been told not to do, has seen her older cousins (my DC) get in trouble for the same thing, and still goes ahead and does it, with this cheeky grin, thinking knowing she will get away with it. Her mum (DSIL) tries to discipline her but she just goes running to daddy. I never thought I would dislike a 6 year old but there you go. She still has tantrums like a toddler.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 24/10/2014 12:58

Writing that down, I realise IABU - of course it is not her fault, it is her dad's! She has just started "big" school and I think it is going to do her a world of good to not be the centre of the universe at all times.

BlueberryWafer · 24/10/2014 13:03

Yanbu. I too have a brat nephew. Grin

Charitybelle · 24/10/2014 13:04

So pleased to see I'm not on my own. I really dislike my neighbours kid. I feel awfully guilty about it, but I just can't bear him, he sets my teeth on edge. Always have to watch him like a hawk as he tries to hurt my dd all the time. She's no angel, but is very gentle with other kids whereas he's always trying to pinch her/bash her with something or push her over Shock
It's a shame cos I know it's parenting, and I really get on with my neighbour, but it definitely influences how much time we spend with them. Just hoping he grows out of it!

Mouthfulofquiz · 24/10/2014 13:05

I have a hard time enjoying the company of one of my nephews who is particularly over-excitable and violent. I can't leave my 2 year old with him to play because the games always turn nasty 'lets kick 'other cousin' in the head' or 'lets kick the door' etc etc. When we are all together, my SIL just lets her boys get on with it because she is relieved that other adults are around (I'm guessing...) even in our house. So as a result we don't spend a lot of time with them because it is such hard work for everyone else. I hope it will improve as they get older. My MIL suggested that all of the boys share a room a christmas! Ridiculous. One of them would surely sustain an injury of some sort due to his unsupervised behaviour. Luckily, we have to drive home due to DH work commitments so we have avoided that particular nightmare.

sickntiredtoo · 24/10/2014 13:07

How old are your Dc and how old are hers?

sickntiredtoo · 24/10/2014 13:08

and are your children boys or girls?

LucilleBluth · 24/10/2014 13:09

I love MN, so heartwarmingly predictable. It's always the in law nieces and nephews that are the spawn of satan, never blood DCs.

You don't have to like all kids op, some are horrid.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 24/10/2014 13:10

I had this with SiL's children. They were extraordinarily badly-behaved, my children really did not get on with them, and didn't want to go to her house to play, didn't want their cousins coming here. So I finally put my foot down, much to her annoyance (but, tough titty, I thought). Now, children are grown, and DS and his cousin spend a lot of time together (in fact, the cousin/nephew appears to spend a lot more time at our house than at his own). So no harm done! I couldn't bear him when he was a little boy, but now I love him to bits.

Stand up to it, CatsEyes - tell your SiL how you feel. (you can do it nicely, pick your words carefully) Good luck!

honeysucklejasmine · 24/10/2014 13:11

I don't like my friends child. I feel awful because I think she's great and I don't have my own child, so who am I to judge? But her kid is a little shit most of the time. Blush

Mouthfulofquiz · 24/10/2014 13:11

How funny Lucille - I've never differentiated between in law nephews and blood as you put it! The in law nephews are my husband's blood relations so it's a strange point to make!

HappyAgainOneDay · 24/10/2014 13:12

I have a SGD whom I dislike. From birth, the sun shone out of her backside in her mother's eyes. She has an older brother and there's nothing wrong with him. I first realised how awful my SGD was when my late DH and I went there for a sit down meal. Normally, one would pass a dish of, say, carrots, to other people before helping oneself. SGD though would lean over in front of others and even crawl over the table to get to the dish she wanted. I'm sure I sat there with my mouth open in disgusted surprise.

MrSheen · 24/10/2014 13:12

I struggle with one of my nieces too. She isn't even 'that bad' but is very indulged and has to be at the centre of attention. Her mum even said she could blow out the candles on my 8yo bday cake until I stepped in. It's not her fault, I know, but I can't warm to her because I'm so sick of everything that anybody says or does immediately leading back to her. You could say something about Ebola and her mum would say 'Well, X has had a cold this week'. It makes me feel like a bitch, because she's not even 3 yet but she's such a bore. (I have 4 other nieces between the ages of 2 and 12 who I get on with fine)

wooooosualsuspect · 24/10/2014 13:14

I expect they probably think your kids are brats too.

ElephantsNeverForgive · 24/10/2014 13:15

I have a cousin 10 years younger than me. As a toddler he drove me nuts because his parents spoilt him rotten. For some reason, I never understood, they did parent is five year younger sister.

In consequence the first sentence I ever heard little sister say was "Fred, Stop It!"

She was totally right, he was throwing around his Christmas Lego.

But it really does say something damning when a 2 year old is doing a better job than her parents.

ElephantsNeverForgive · 24/10/2014 13:17

I should add both have grown up to be lovely adults, their mum gradually getting the hang of being firm, but fair.

Their dad (DDad's much younger brother) we all agree is weird.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 24/10/2014 13:17

Lucille - My SiL's children are blood relations of DP. He was more adamant than me that the children should not play together. So your point is?

Stupidhead · 24/10/2014 13:18

My DCs avoid their cousins like the plague. They actually lick windows because (according to xsil) they're sooooo intelligent.

DP had a friend when younger who was a totally spoilt little brat along the lines of, 'I'm not playing with you unless you give me that toy'. For keeps. All DPs treasured childhood items went to this boy. The boy has turned into a therapist now and is the nicest guy you can meet! They still joke about DPs possessions now.

So fingers crossed they can change...

Original poster
catseyes10 · 24/10/2014 13:19

Sick they are all boys, and of similar ages to my kids, eldest primary age, youngest pre school age. I think the problem is there's never any discipline in their house because the parents can't be arsed and it really irritates me. I've seen both them kick and punch their mother with no repercussions. And yes, I agree their behaviour is a product of their environment Sad

OP posts:
Tryharder · 24/10/2014 13:27

Yes, Mumsnet where everyone else's children are little shits and are parented badly and our own children are slim, gifted and talented, athletic and always, always well behaved- the latter being down to our own superior parenting of course Wink

wooooosualsuspect · 24/10/2014 13:30

One of these posts could be about your horrible kids and crap parenting Grin

grunty · 24/10/2014 13:31

My own blood relation niece was an absolute spoilt brat thanks to her parents doing their bit to turn her into a narcissist. She is ok now she is about 13.

My husbands 8 nieces and nephews were generally polite, well behaved and nice as kids - all grown up now!