GP told me I have piles and there is nothing to be done

[NeedABumChangeNotANameChange]

I was in hospital two years ago, pretty serious. In intensive care and all the drugs gave me lots of horrendous diarrhoea, bed pan every half hour- poor nurses!
Since then I have had a bit of extra skin on my anus, went to see GP this morning and she told me it is piles and there is nothing to be done. I have no current symptoms or issues with my bowels. I'm 23, no kids, how will I every let a guy see my bum? It doesn't look like the pictures of piles on the internet. It is more a line/flap of extra skin but it doesn't look normal and now I am worried I will never be able to have doggy style ever again. I have just met a guy after being single since before my illness and we haven't had sex yet but he is also young and no kids- which means he is probably expecting a normal looking bum he keeps telling me how great my body is and he can't wait to see me naked etc but I feel like as soon as I take my pants off he's going to be hugely turned off and run away.

So aibu to think this can't be it, I can't have a hideous bum hole for the next fifty years? Is there really nothing that can be done to improve the appearance and has anyone ever been in this situation? I appreciate that piles are fairly common especially after child birth and If I was married then the appearance probably wouldn't bother me as compared to the google pictures it is pretty inoffensive.

aww maras that's quite lovely and romantic and a bit eww all at the same time- no one told me bum holes sag?
I definitely wouldn't be bothered about it if I had been with this guy for a while but I also haven't had sex in two years so generally worried ( and excited) about the whole thing and now I am just worrying about my bumhole too.

I think that what your GP means by nothing can be done is that "there is nothing that can be done on the NHS" - it sounds like you don't meet the criterea for a referral to a surgeon, from your op it sounds as though your concerns are cosmetic?

Gawd it a few skin tags round your bum hole render you so imperfect that your man doesn't want to have sex with you change the man not the bum hole. Everything gets less " porn perfect" with age!

Yes maybe you could have them removed- allegedly very painful and will leave scars ( and therefore still not be " perfect") with no promise they wont recur.

Oh noooo, ime men are so excited to being doing the deed and too busy thinking of what they're doing and their performance, so they honestly won't notice, or won't give a stuff if they do. We've all got weird things about our bodies anyway.

However if it bothers you enough to want a referral and a possible op, you should take it further – and change your GP if at all possible as she sounds awful.

OK, I'll be brave and admit that I have this problem too! I've not thought about going to the GP for it, though I think it's definitely more noticeable since I gave birth. I'm very, very self conscious about it but never to the extent that I envy bleached porn bumholes

needabumchange Sorry for TMI I've heard that some silly sods actually bleach their bum holes WTAF? Is that a porn thing too?

Am I the only one who will admit to having just gone and look at their bum with a mirror? I did and I have it as well.

Learn something new everyday lol....

NeedABumChange - I think very few women get through pregnancy and childbirth without it happening to them.

I really doubt he will even notice!!

But I haven't had a baby ouryve

He's not a twat and was bought up in a hippy commune(sounds more like a cult), I don't for one second think he would say anything or refuse to have sex with me I am more worried it will just be a turn off.

Honestly, you are really over thinking this. It will be fine!

We all have unusual "abnormal" bodily flaws, on your bum is better than somewhere visible to everyone like your face. If he does part your cheeks to see your anus during sex I think he will be really turned on at the time and enjoying himself rather than critiquing your body. Yes you should make sure you don't get constipated so it doesn't worsen. From your description it sounds like an anal skin tag. If you would consider surgery you could ask your GP for a surgical referral, but given that your concerns are cosmetic and the NHS is strapped for cash I am afraid I hope that your GP says no! If you have funds you could see a surgeon privately.

Although maybe if you saw a different GP with more time to talk about this you might feel better for having your questions answered.

op I love how candid you are!

I have anal tags and fissures. Tbh I'm not sure if dp has seen the tags but will ask tonight when he gets in.

I've just googled 'bum holes' to see how different they look to each other and knocked myself sick!!

Don't know what to suggest other than if he tries to get you in doggy say your back hurts??? Sorry it's all I could come up and my brain has been destroyed by the images ....

rara you're not alone! Although I actually looked at my bum with a mirror before reading this thread. I have a skin tag thing too, I got piles in pregnancy and now they're deflated.

Not quite the same (probably) but I also have an outie now instead of an innie. This is thanks to my son and his instrumental birth.

I kind of assumed that everyone was the same tbh. I very much doubt that DP would have seen it, but he might have brushed past it once or twice by accident.

I don't think this is the reason for our downturned sexlife though - more the fact that we have a 14-month-old and we work full time and we're always knackered!

Same here, a deflated pile courtesy of major pushing to get DS2 out.

It has certainly never bothered DH but I must admit having a "frilly" bum hole does make wiping properly more of a challenge and for that reason I would quite like to be tidied up (it also sometimes re-inflates back into a pile, which is never nice).

Quote of the week: change the man not the bumhole

wiggly 2 words: baby wipes. Just as effective as moist toilet wipes, much cheaper, and you can buy unscented ones. Just don't flush them!

I have internal and external ones from pregnancy and birth. They are dreadful and often hurt and bleed. Too embarrassed to see anyone about them, but would only want them removed via HALO procedure, anyway, which is private, so I put up with them.

can you not just stick to non doggy tip you know he's a keeper?

If someone's that right, the odd bit of oddness should hardly be a deal breaker should it?

It's not like you have two heads and a hairy chest!

The reason mine was removed was it was covering the bum hole and it was difficult to clean because of the positioning.

Ive got one, having just google searched it mine doesnt look too bad now. I havent had sex for a very long time and it was worrying me what my soon to be FWB would think of it, have now decided that if the bloke was bothered by it i just wouldnt have sex with him again. It doesnt look that bad.

Well actually queen I do have to occasionally pluck a nipple hair or two

Thank you ladies for all the reassurance and mine definitely doesn't seem that bad compared to google images. I am thinking that I can get away with other positions or doggy if we have some sexy(dim) mood lighting until I am ready for him to see me in full glory!

I have one! From an old case of piles, also had an anal fistula for 2 years and never want that again.

Anyhow, I didn't think much about it, but asked my boyfriend one day if he noticed it and he said "yeah, I like to push it back in".. haha.. TMI but that's what he said and it doesn't seem to bother him at all.

Then again, if I tell him I have a boil or something, he's almost ripping at my clothes to get a look at it.. so some people are really not bothered by things like that.