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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that DH is being an arse?

92 replies

cooki3monst3r · 23/10/2014 23:37

I'd like to ask you all how many clothes your young DCs have, how often you do the washing and how big your dirty washing pile is!

DH just did his usual bloody moan, grumble and downright slagging off when I tried to show him DS new clothes (7 t-shirts & 2 jumpers) this evening.

Apparently a 2 yo should not have as many clothes as DS has, and if I did the washing more frequently we wouldn't have a huge pile of dirty clothes on the landing, and I would need to spend so much money on DCs clothes!

Now, bearing in mind the DCs have their child allowance go in to a savings account which is used only for them, and their clothes and shoes (and sometimes activities like dance / swimming classes) are all bought with that money only, DHs reaction EVERY time I buy the DCs some bloody clothes is really beginning to piss me off!

FYI, my DS 2yo has 10 pairs of trousers and 10 t-shirts, 2 sweaters, 4 jumpers, sister's old coat.

Does my DS really have too many clothes? I honestly don't know how I'd manage to keep him in clean clothes with less than this!

OP posts:

DittoDeDoDah · 24/10/2014 13:12

3yo b/g DTs.

They have a lot more clothes than they actually wear that people have got them as gifts and mostly stay in the drawer.

What they actually wear. Each.
2 t-shirts
2 shorts
2 pairs of jeans
1 hoody
Trainers & sandals and in winter they have boots.
1 coat

I do a wash every evening even if it's just a half load because that keeps on top of the washing and means it never builds up.

rookiemater · 24/10/2014 13:18

Ok well if you buy all your DS's clothes from Boden & JL then the amount of clothes that your DS has will have cost quite a lot.

I agree with you that the quality of clothes from Boden particularly is good, but at that age they are growing pretty fast so unless you're planning to resell them through Ebay ( boys Boden second hand goes for a reasonable amount and you could bundle in the JL stuff) then it does seem a bit on the expensive side to get all your DS's clothes from there.

I tend to buy a couple of pairs of good trousers for DS then cheaper ones from M&S or Sainsburys to make up the rest of his wardrobe. DS currently has 4 pairs of trousers ( but could do with more) and about 5 pairs of shorts.

mathanxiety · 24/10/2014 15:50

If you're spending money on 'quality' brands and they are shrinking in the wash/dryer, then you are not getting quality. Someone upthread recommended Next, Tesco and Asda.
I got most of my non-clearance sale clothes for the DCs in Walmart and TJMaxx and it lasted well. I found clearance stuff from Gap was also dryer safe. I have four DDs and bought girl clothes that could be handed down, especially decent jackets and tops (when on sale). DS was the only boy so I could skimp on him.

When you're buying, check washing labels.

Maybe find an xxxl laundry basket to give the illusion of keeping up with it all. Or as suggested, put a basket in each room and just keep it all off the landing. For some people out of sight is out of mind.

Caboodle · 24/10/2014 16:51

Mine have nowhere near that amount of trousers and probably not that amount of tops, but they are at school and I'm not including school uniform in my tally.
If you can't afford it YABU. If husband doesn't like washing...you could show him how to use the machine.

Clutterbugsmum · 24/10/2014 17:05

My children had a lot more clothes when they were that age as they are were mud magnets. Now they are at school they have less casual clothes as they have school uniforms. Although they do still need a full clean set of uniform most days.

Icimoi · 24/10/2014 17:14

Do you have older dc? Are any of the clothes handed down?

Electriclaundryland · 24/10/2014 18:25

My 3yr old has about 5pairs of jeans and 5 tracky bottoms, at least 8 long sleeved t shirts and about 6 tees. Also 6 hoodies, 3 fleeces, 2 cardies and 4 coats. He may get through 3 changes of clothes a day. Lots are hand me downs though.

unlucky83 · 24/10/2014 19:00

When DD1 was at nursery (that age) she had 8 outfits and a couple if spare trousers/tops. I know because I was ft woh as was DP ...I used to do the washing on a Sun (although might do the odd load during the week if nec) and ironing on a Mon night (don't iron anymore!) - so 8 meant 7 days outfits and one for the Mon... a whole outfit (inc tights/cardis etc) on one hanger. Made getting her dressed etc in the morning easy and meant I didn't buy clothes that didn't 'go' with anything. I did also get given lots of clothes etc and I would go through them and sort into outfits, decide what I needed to buy and pass the rest on.

She also had 'scruffs' (they still do - as do I) - clothes worn for messy play/housework/diy...joggers and a sweatshirt, don't have to be spotless -changed once or twice a week.
(At least your DH isn't as annoying as my DP - he thinks charity shops are wonderful - and I think they are for small children who grow out of clothes fast -but once they get to 5-6 I found more of their clothes were worn out rather than grown out of and so charity shops didn't really have much ...so I gave up looking - or I'll look if I'm in there but not think she needs some new leggings I'll look in a charity shop ifykwim. DD1 (13) needed some new (skinny) jeans - she is in adult sizes but needs shorter legs -getting her to go shopping for something sensible is a nightmare but we were in Asda and I persuaded her to try a range on - out of 5 pairs she tried only one fitted well. We bought them - they were £10 - DP saw them in the shopping, picked them up and said it made him sad, it was a waste of money, why hadn't I looked in charity shops? -and we are far from skint ...he's just a tight wad!)

FastWindow · 24/10/2014 19:04

My DH is excellent at clearing the laundry pile. And putting the whole lot (dry, scrunched) on the bed. For me to discover, at bed time. I feel like a churl complaining. But ffs... All the laundry... On the bed.. Now , its all in a massive pile on the floor. Great...

Caboodle · 24/10/2014 19:14

Oh, and re the laundry...I do that much with 3dcs that I am on my second machine in 4 years....and this one is on it's way out....
{I'm also on my second dishwasher...}

DaisyFlowerChain · 24/10/2014 19:34

DS has far more and is older so don't have the messy toddler stage to even blame. I don't like to waste water and energy everyday so only do laundry one day a week. It's also nice to have a lot of choice rather than wear the same thing day in day out.

mathanxiety · 24/10/2014 20:21

Haha -- your DH is in for a bumpy ride through your DD's teen years, Unlucky, if he thinks a tenner is a lot to pay for a pair of jeans, or that a teenage girl could just pick up any old pair from a charity shop. I suppose technically speaking she could, but he will save everyone a lot of angst if he wises up quickly.

mathanxiety · 24/10/2014 20:26

Actually OP, forget a university fund -- if you have enough child benefit to set aside, you would be better off keeping it until your children hit their teen years when you are really going to need it for clothes and shoes, and when they start to care about what they are wearing and how they look.

My DS went through several sizes of clothing in one year, from boys' size 12 to men's size medium or young men's size 18ish, and his shoes maxed out at men's size 13.5 wide after a year and a half when he outgrew shoes every two months.

unlucky83 · 24/10/2014 22:09

I know Math - he already is struggling
She goes shopping now with friends and takes £10-15 of her birthday/Christmas money (from grandparents), buys posters, picnmix, etc - general junk - most useful thing she gets is possibly a(nother) primark t-shirt...comes home having spent it all... DP gets so twitchy - questions her on what she has bought -and thinks she should bring all the receipts back to show us ...I think FGS it is her money - she can squander it on tat or buy something she really wants ...it is a lesson for her to learn once it has gone its gone - and she is getting better now - actually brought some money back last time !

number2093847 · 24/10/2014 22:22

we have as much as you but its all second hand or bootsale

mathanxiety · 25/10/2014 05:55

You need to stop him from doing that. It is very controlling. He needs to get a grip or your DD is going to think this is how men can treat women.

unlucky83 · 25/10/2014 10:37

(sorry going off thread) Ahh Math never thought of it like that - but then he doesn't control me...so I guess she sees that...so it should be ok.
He grew up very poor (eg his mum had him shoplifting food), he worked very hard and is now financially secure but money is a security blanket - which means he can find spending hard.
When I became a SAHM he used to question everything I spent - so we agreed he transfers to me a set amount of money from his wages and I spend it on me, the house and children how I like... (I have my own money anyway - eg income from investments). Only thing is the money he transfers covers the main food shopping so if I ask him to buy milk for the 'house' he will ask me for the £1.50!
(But then he buys things he fancies for himself, bread everyday and the odd joint for roasting and doesn't ask for a refund !)

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