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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that DH is being an arse?

92 replies

cooki3monst3r · 23/10/2014 23:37

I'd like to ask you all how many clothes your young DCs have, how often you do the washing and how big your dirty washing pile is!

DH just did his usual bloody moan, grumble and downright slagging off when I tried to show him DS new clothes (7 t-shirts & 2 jumpers) this evening.

Apparently a 2 yo should not have as many clothes as DS has, and if I did the washing more frequently we wouldn't have a huge pile of dirty clothes on the landing, and I would need to spend so much money on DCs clothes!

Now, bearing in mind the DCs have their child allowance go in to a savings account which is used only for them, and their clothes and shoes (and sometimes activities like dance / swimming classes) are all bought with that money only, DHs reaction EVERY time I buy the DCs some bloody clothes is really beginning to piss me off!

FYI, my DS 2yo has 10 pairs of trousers and 10 t-shirts, 2 sweaters, 4 jumpers, sister's old coat.

Does my DS really have too many clothes? I honestly don't know how I'd manage to keep him in clean clothes with less than this!

OP posts:

mathanxiety · 24/10/2014 05:34

I agree with the comments to the effect your DH is being an arse if he thinks he is entitled to make you wash more often. If he doesn't like laundry piling up then he should learn to do it himself without destroying it.

I also agree this isn't really about clothes. He has some sort of pole up his backside.

GinIsCalling · 24/10/2014 05:57

Just looked and my DS (3) has 7 pairs of shorts, two trousers (live in California so warm climate) and about 25 T-shirts... Also has 10 pairs of PJs! Six pairs of shoes. At least ten jumpers (mum knits) and they rarely get worn as hot here. Also has cold weather kit/ soccer kit/ baseball kit etc. And lots of swimming clothes. Oh and various smart clothes, shirts etc for parties.
It is too many (T shirts in particular) but he gets gifted clothes a lot by our huge family, and also tons of hand-me-downs (really is a big family).
I bought him some new clothes today, long sleeved T shirts as getting bit colder, just showed my DH and he said 'They're great, he'll be pleased'.
I think that's a more normal reaction, especially if moneys not a worry, which it doesn't sound like it is.
I look after DSs clothes, save the ones that would suit either sex for next baby, and hand them onto charity shops/ friends. But some just get trashed and are not fit to be reused!
Also, doesn't sound like your husband is being realistic about the amount of clothes a little boy needs. My son can dirty three outfits a day, first set get covered in paint etc at preschool, then swimming clothes, probably dirties a set in garden, then if we go out for dinner thats a fourth! And that's without any toilet accidents/ food mishaps.

Leela5 · 24/10/2014 07:25

Rookie mistake showing your dh the clothes

I buy stuff all the time that my dh would object to. I just put it away in house. If he sees things and asks I make non committal 'had that for ages' noises and he doesn't push any further

Original poster

cooki3monst3r · 24/10/2014 07:51

What's wrong with my relationship maras2 is that I'm married to a MAN! I would turn in to a lesbian for an easier life, but I'm just not in to women.

To answer all the questions - yes we can afford the clothes. Child benefit is what I meant. And I don't save it for when they're older because I can't afford it!

We're not hard up by any means, but DH is self employed so feels the pressure.

We do have a tumble dryer but I find some clothes from Boden or John Lewis shrink really easily. Does anyone else have this problem? Maybe I should just tumble dry them then replace when shrunk.

Yes we have a washing basket... but it over flows

Yes, I'm a numb nut for thinking showing DH the new clothes was a good idea!

10 pairs of trousers because one is for 'best' a couple are last year's that will soon be too small, then one for every day of the week.

Thank you for letting me vent.

OP posts:

ithoughtofitfirst · 24/10/2014 07:54

Dh is so lazy i think he would genuinely buy new clothes rather than wash them if i died. He knows it, i know it. Crack on OP. Thank him for offering to help with the washing more to solve your impulse buying problem. How kind of him.

Original poster

cooki3monst3r · 24/10/2014 07:55

leela5

OP posts:

RufusTheReindeer · 24/10/2014 07:59

I wouldn't say 10 trousers is excessive although i would probably have less

10 t shirts and all the rest is definitely not eccessive

Most toddlers go through clothes at a rate of knots,

Pop the heat on and strip him off!! That should save on the washing and will be cute!! Your heating bills will be a bitch though

RufusTheReindeer · 24/10/2014 08:00

I have just realised that's why we didn't have 10 pairs of trousers

Not sure ds2 wore any for three years!!

3littlefrogs · 24/10/2014 08:02

All my Ds's clothes came from charity shops when they were small.
They only had a few new things for special occasions.
Toddlers are very messy.
DH wouldn't have noticed what they were wearing.

I have a heated clothes airer that is great for getting things dry over night.

MorelliOrRanger · 24/10/2014 08:03

Your dh is BU.

My 2 year old has at least 3 or 4 times that number of clothes. Some new but also hmd's from generous friends.

Don't show him anymore as he won't notice anyway.

Humansatnav · 24/10/2014 08:06

Nah, amount of clothes for ds sounds reasonable - my dd had loads as my cousin has twin girls a year older so double hand me downs plus the first gd on dh's side plus my aunty was a great and prolific knitter. But dh never uttered a word if I went and bought more, as long as we could afford it.

EstellaSpitsEmOut · 24/10/2014 08:06

My 2yr old DS has 5 trousers (that fit his skinny waist), at least 10 t shirts and 4 jumpers and we do a load of washing pretty much once a day.
But.. We do need to get him more trousers/jumpers as we're constantly having to rush these through the wash/dry process! I think your numbers are about right.

BobPatandIgglePiggle · 24/10/2014 08:08

I'm lazy so I find it best for ds not to have too many clothes because it means I have to keep on top of the washing.

He's 2 and probably has 5 pairs of trousers. ..

Snatchoo · 24/10/2014 08:08

I don't think that is excessive. What we have is excessive - easily double what you have as ds3 has his own clothes plus hand me downs from two brothers!

Mostly the top layer of clothing is getting washed so he only actually wears about 10% of what fits him!

TheRealAmandaClarke · 24/10/2014 08:12

Saving cb money for the future is a waste of time. That money will be of no value when your ds is 18.
And i dont think that is an excessive amount of clothing for a toddler.
And i think your Dh is being a bit if an arse to nag about the laundry.
But i would be surprised if someone who has an income low enough to qualify for CB would buy a significant proportion of their clothing from Boden and JL. That seems a little excessive imho.

Humansatnav · 24/10/2014 08:19

Why would that be AmandaClarke ? The op can choose to buy her dc clothes from wherever she wishes !

QuietNinjaTardis · 24/10/2014 08:22

Ds. Has 3 pairs of trousers at the mo. I stupidly thought this would be ok as he'd only be wearing them after school and at weekends. I forgot about holidays she says as it's coming up to half term I need to buy more. Dh gives me the goggle eyes sometimes at the clothes I buy for the dc but it's bloody obvious they need them.
I have the drying issue as well. We don't have a garden and I find stuff shrinks if it's tumble dried and at this time of year it takes forever to dry.

LisaMed · 24/10/2014 08:23

When ds was four months old my MIL went to visit her sister 200 miles away, had a brain aneurysm and died a month later. I won't go into the horrific mess, the stuff that crawled out of the woodwork, the costs and stress. I had no family at all nearby, I couldn't walk properly and five months later DH was made redundant from a job he described as 'deck chair manager on the Titanic'. During that time ebay was my friend.

If you go onto ebay and look at bundles for little ones you can get some really bargains. I remember bidding on one bundle as a sort of bet as the photo was a bit iffy. I won it at 1p, plus £10 postage. The result was a tightly packed hoover box full - I mean crammed full - with immaculate clothing, some of it never worn. I have witnesses to confirm. I bought, and bought, and bought. A few years later when next door were having two boys in the family I swear I took round a dozen full bin bags, which hadn't cost a lot at all, even with postage.

You don't have too many clothes.

DixieNormas · 24/10/2014 08:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SplatTheScaryCat · 24/10/2014 08:25

we have two washing baskets, one for the kids clothes, and one for DH and I. They are not allowed to overflow.

i have a tiny house, we can only dry on the radiators, it means this time of year, what would be only 2 loads for the line (darks/reds, and whites/lights) usually splits down into 3 or 4 over the week.

while your dh is wrong about your dcs clothes, there's no excuse for letting it pile up and overflow, as soon as you see it overflowing, put a load on! (that includes your dh, not just you btw)

Pooka · 24/10/2014 08:26

10 pairs of trousers is rather a lot for a 2 year old.

My ds2 has about 5 pairs. Wears them once and then they're washed.

I have 3 dcs and do about 1 load of washing a day.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 24/10/2014 08:33

why would that be therealamandaclarke?
I would be surprised because if I were reliant upon a means tested benefit I think i would be more frugal tight-arsed with regard to shopping for children's clothes, which are, lets face it, outgrown very fast. I tend to buy less expensive clothing for my hard done by Dcs. DH is more likely to splash out on pricier items. I suppose i worry a bit more about money. But I wouldn't slate him for buying those things if they can be afforded.

the Op can choose to buy her Dc clothes from wherever she wishes
Of course. I'm not sure i suggested she couldn't. Just that It surprised me. And given that this was an AIBU in relation to children's clothing I thought it was a fair comment.

coolaschmoola · 24/10/2014 08:33

I have no idea what clothes dd has, but this thread has made me feel like it's an obscene amount.

Our laundry basket is never empty. Such is life.

On a side note - I don't dry Boden, or other clothes of that ilk in the dryer but Next, Tesco and Asda all wash and tumble dry with zero shrinkage.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 24/10/2014 08:35

Oh, and I do at least one load of laundry each day, and
Several at the weekend. There are four of us.
Maybe my laundry pile would be easier if we had fewer clothes.

ChablisLover · 24/10/2014 08:36

glad it just not me then

DS has mountains of clothes but is due a clearout

DH says the same thing - if we had less clothes, I wouldnt have as much washing & Ironing to do

cant see the logic as if we had less, id have to wash more surely???

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