To feel this is really odd?

[Sunbury1986]

I've pondered this for a couple of days now. Basically I sent a birthday card to a female friend I've known for around 15 years. We met through the kids being at school and obviously spent a few years a lot closer when the kids where growing up and we all got together in the hols. As time passes, kids grown up and went to different schools we still had a reasonable friendship but time is tight and over the past say 3-4 years we've drifted to a point where we've certainly not fallen out but have perhaps grown apart and have different lives. Nothing bad these things happen. Still exchange cards with kids birthdays, christmas etc. And so to the card I sent this weekend. I also dropped a very quick text, " hi happy birthday have a lovely day be good to catch up soon". I got back a rambling text saying thanks for the "snail mail" card and basically a massive slagging off for being "ungoogleable", and out of touch with reality because "no one knows anything about you because you don't do facebook". It shocked me to be fair. I've not responded because I don't know what to say and also it kind of made a few things drop into place. Am I weird living a real life and not sharing enough online?

Her response was really weird. I actually think a "snail mail" card is nicer because it takes more effort. Maybe she feels sad that you have drifted apart and thinks it would be easier to stay in touch if you were active on Facebook but she could have expressed that better and since she has your number she could have stayed in touch anyway. It's an unusual thing for her to be so upset about and unfair of her to have a dig at you when you were contacting her to say happy birthday.

This thread has made me want to get a steam cleaner and get rid of my Facebook account

I really don't like over-sharers on Facebook, however I would be happy to see pictures of peoples clean ovens

Sorry your friend is being catty Sunbury, I would love more friends who send actual cards and letters. I love receiving proper post.

To clarify...no smugness about reallycleanoven . Basically if you start with a new oven then regular clean and steam stops build up. If it's a grotty mess then you genuinely need a blitz, and I think barbecue cleaner works best. Then you can steam it regularly to keep on top of things.

IdaBlankenGhostship I love the term "over sharing" also love your name ....Mad Men inspired I'm guessing?

I'm happy to be an under sharer....it makes me far more interesting at social events as I have stuff to tell people rather than a phrase that makes me shudder " oh yeah I saw that on FB"

Yes Sunbury Mad Men with a temporary Halloween twist.

Under-sharing is definitely the way forward, I'm sure from my FB feed it looks like I do nothing and go nowhere, it just wouldn't occur to me to advertise what I am up to. I also have a small amount (by FB standards) of friends on there - I'm always amazed when people who never speak to me when I am in the same room/playground/event as me, send me a friend request. Baffling.

IdaBlankenGhostship
I'm clearly an under sharing expert unwittingly. I want to make it cool to under share ...but you have the patent on the term as of today . It needs to be the way forward there's another thread about someone who is upset about being left out of a situation on face book where someone was hospitalised and got little support yet someone else in the group had cosmetic surgery and got loads of support. Says it all really doesn't it. Busy making some "snail mail" real christmas cards to really piss everyone off this year you might be good on that thread for advice. I'm too much of an ungoogleable Virgin to be useful

Would anyone like to come and clean our oven? It was done in December 2013 apparently but I swear it didn't get done last year at all . in my defence I don't use it...

I think I'm middle ground with sharing, people who post their food/diet/illness/bed time make me think bore right off, but I keep in touch with my closest friends by text/call/meeting up where time and geography allows as none of them are facebookers.

I'm pretty impressed with your dedication to snail mail that you are making Christmas cards in October. Perhaps there needs to be a MN group for people who love getting proper post, we can send each other nice things in the mail?
I received a lovely unexpected parcel from a friend recently. It made my week.

I doubt, if you've been friends with her for 15 years, she has suddenly taken an irrational dislike to you, and I suspect she is really upset over not keeping in touch. Personally, I think its quite easy to send a card through the post for a birthday or Christmas, its a sort of lazy way of making out that you're thinking of someone because you have them on an automatic reminder somewhere.

You do sound rather smug in your world - life doesn't end when you get a house and an oven and a "real life" - I suspect she has got the impression that you have snubbed her in the past, and that for her, FB would be a quick and easy way for you to keep in touch, given that you've probably bored her to death in the past let her know that you are so busy.

I take it the "ungoogleable" reference means she's tried and failed to track you down by other means such as email or LinkedIn, so I think she is probably hurt at your lack of effort to keep in touch (other than dutifully sending cards).

Mind you, I have no aspirations to a real life that revolves around cleaning ovens in a particular way, so what do I know!

Mrscureent IdaBlankenGhostship
I'm the same in keeping in touch with friends who equally do/don't FB. Most accept I'd rather meet up quarterly and proper catch up. They are my true friends. Also I'm not that keen on people trawling through people they used to know.

I'm watching educating the east end. Whoever the SEN teacher wearing the gorgeous head coverings is should be given a role in the education system.. She is superb.

I'm doing Christmas cards to try and make people be more social. Xx

I would reply - "riiiiiiighht, um ok, how very odd of you, so have a lovely life and all that - it's been more mediocre than a blast and evidently we're in "different places" etc etc. anyway enjoy whatever it is in life that you like doing, best wishes sunbury"

Cheers chelsyhandly. Not smug at all. Just time off work and getting on top of chores

I liked it so much i name changed for you!! Count me in to that club

I am mega smug about my clean oven. Seriously.

I've had it 3 years and never cleaned it before so it's a BIG deal

She's a weirdo, a card from a distant friend means so much more than a facebook "happy birthday".
On to more important matters, here is my oven. I haven't cleaned it, though only had it a couple of months. Any advice on what I can clean the glass doors with as CillitBang doesn't shift the grease and cba with the faff of oven pride?

Bloody hell! What a lovely clean oven! It's like a well lit cathedral - mine looks like a junkies squat

Breadforbrains... when I did use to clean my oven, and what I will do with the new one too... was I used to put a bowl of water and a lemon cut up in it and cook it so it steamed it up. It was easier to clean. Can't say I just wiped the grease away with no effort, but it was much easier.

Ahh yes, the lemon water trick. I used to do this with my microwave too.
Guess how I'll be spending my Friday?!
Thanks, I'll give it a whirl by cooking a lemon in a bowl of water inside the oven and also microwave oven, then scrubbing with a scourer.

Waaaaaiiitt a minute, I ALSO HAVE A STEAM CLEANER!! Fridays Are about to get a lot more interesting...

I quite like the steam cleaning, oven cleaning clique that is forming over here. Can I still stay, even if I am not an ungoogleable?

I won't show a pic of the inside of my oven as you may chase me with flaming torches and pitchforks off this thread.
Dammit I need a steam cleaner.

Ida, I have 2 steam cleaners

Bread nice work. You must be able to steam clean 2 things simultaneously. (Although I feel it is a touch greedy, and perhaps your second steam cleaner should be re-housed in my understairs cupboard )

What a sparkly oven! I am very impressed. Going to try the lemon trick in my microwave!

I just realised I don't have a lemon