To refuse a smear test (may be triggering)

[Toooldtobearsed]

Background: I have BC 6 years ago. I had a lumpectomy, then mastectomy, chemo, radiotherapy, a second mastectomy, reconstruction.
I then was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, had an oopherectomy.

I am 53 and have always said that that is it. I would choose to have no further treatment should cancer pop up again, and to be fair, it may well - I am considered high risk and should still see my oncologist every six months, but took the decision to stop, due to the fact that I would refuse further treatment.

So, I am being hounded by my GP to go for a smear. DH wants me to go, but I don't see the point. If something bad came back I would be forced to face that final choice and I would rather continue in blissful ignorance until I dropped. DH supports whatever decision I make, but is hurt that I won't do everything possible to still be with him in old age.

So, am I being unreasonable to choose to simply leave my future to fate?

I don't feel qualified to offer an opinion but wanted to recognise the massive decision and heart ache you have been through.

I'm pleased you have a supportive dh and I am sure that has been pinnacle to where you are now.

Yanbu, your body, your life.

However, please consider the fact that IF anything bad ever comes to light, you never know how easily treatable it could be!

Hmmm well personally I'd still go but I haven't been through what you have experienced.

The chances are high that they won't find anything and even if they do (I've had it) its a minor procedure which could save a life? I don't recall any sedation or much pain and the 1 treatment is usually enough. 53 is still pretty young to give up like this but its your decision (I'm older and I still get all the tests done).

It's rare for a smear to outright detect cervical cancer (unless of course someone had been experiencing worrying symptoms for quite some time). It's more likely that the following would happen:

1. All clear
2. Some abnormal cells. No treatment required, but you need annual smears
3. Abnormal cells and treatment required (colposcopy)

A colposcopy is a relative minor thing compared with cancer treatment. Would you refuse that?

I think YABU. I understand why you'd refuse any more cancer treatment, but to refuse a smear test because you can't see the point of being diagnosed with cervical cancer is barking mad.

Diving I see what you are saying, the last two smears I have had have had to be repeated, I have no issue with having a smear as such, my dilemma is IF something came up that required surgery/chemo etc., I would then have to make the decision all over again, much harder when faced with a definite diagnosis. If I choose to go in blissful ignorance, I will not have to decide.
I am sorry, I cannot find the words to explain what I mean, so hope you get the gist!

If you have children I think you have a responsibility to try to stay in their lives as long as you can, so yabu

Have you come to terms with the feelings of fear you had when you went through the cancer treatment?

YANBU at all. It's your body, your life and you do not have to do some sort of 'won't somebody think of the children' thing if you don't want to.

A dear friend had colon cancer. She spent a year having treatment which made her unbelievably ill, ended up with a permanent stoma and residual pain but she was given the all clear and told to just come back for 6 month check ups. A year later it was back, had metastasised everywhere and she refused all treatment except palliative care. She died, peacefully and surrounded by people who loved her.

This is your call. Take care

Of course you shouldn't be forced into something that you don;t want to do but please do it in possession of all the facts.

Smear tests (as someone has already pointed out) don't detect cancer but abnormal cells. Most likely as in your case previously, these cells settle down and no further treatment is needed.

I had regular smears and then one year was recalled because I had abnormal cells which had reached CIN3 stage. This was quite advanced for someone who had regular smears and so was investigated urgently. It was thought all I would need was a colposcopy and all done - which would be the normal routine.

Cells has progressed too far and I was admitted for a cone biopsy which they shave the surface of your cervix where the abnormal cells were. This was considered to be a pretty unusual case either because the cells were changing way faster than normal or because my previous scan was noted falsely as a negative.

Either way I went into hospital overnight, had the minor procedure and had annual smears thereafter.

It wasn't cancer.
It wasn't traumatic to treat (honestly).
It was 20 years ago with not a days trouble since.

You must know that dealing with the advanced stages of cancer isn't as simple as just dropping dead in ignorant bliss given your history. Even dealing with a peculiar slightly more advanced than normal case like mine was about 1000 times easier than dealing with any cancer that could have subsequently developed.

Thank you Puffin

My children are grown up with partners of their own, so no youngsters to think about.
I have come to terms with diagnosis/treatment, but would not choose to go through it again. I am pleased I had the treatment, but almost feel as though I have done what I can and if it comes back, then it is meant to be and that no matter how many times I elect to be treated, it will keep coming back and will get me in the end, so why go through the misery in the meantime?

To be honest, I don't know why I posted this now, I think really just to get the opinions of people who are not emotionally involved.

I believe that I am making the right decision for me, but do worry about DH.

Thanks to all for your points of view, very much appreciated

It's totally your body and your choice op.

I think you are taking a totally understandable approach for now and of course if you change your mind you can go for that smear at any time.

If you have abnormal cells detected (and treated) it won't be cancer. It won't be anything to do with your previous cancer. It won;t be treated by an oncologist. BECAUSE ITS NOT CANCER!

Don't mean to shout at you, sorry. But it's a bit like not getting antibiotics for pneumonia because you had cancer

Don't conflate the two.Cervical cancer is caused by a virus. A smear is just like getting a flu jab.

You've had a lot of treatment and been very unwell. I'm sorry that you've had to go through that and I can completely understand why you would refuse to have further treatment which might make your quality of life very poor in your final months/years. Similarly to the actress who died this week.

I'm not sure that a smear test constitutes refusing treatment/making an informed decision though. In many ways it is no different to having any sort of healthcheck and could result in very minor treatment if as a previous poster said, some abnormal cells were detected. If you were told the only treatment option was surgery/chemo then you would obviously be within your rights to walk away from it. I don't mean to sound flip or really rude but are you also refusing to go to the dentist for an annual check up? Your dentist will do cancer checks too.

I wonder if when push came to shove, if the worst happened and you presented with late state cancer, you might not then wish you'd had the smear test.

Your decision , but just wanted to add last time I had my smear I was told smears are now tested for virus and if virus not present there is a really low stat of likely hood of getting cervical cancer ( can't remember the figures) so it may be reassuring for you to go.

Came on here to say what Kew and Diving said. If abnormal cells were detected you wouldn't be receiving cancer treatment, you'd be getting treatment to prevent cancer.

And just because your children are adults doesn't mean they'd feel your loss any less keenly.

Kew I am sorry, you (I hope) shouted because you thought I was not listening. We obviously cross posted, so had not seen your original post.

I am now going to confess just how pig ignorant I am, I did not know that a smear did not detect cancer. There, I have said it! Feel like a total and utter idiot now.

I think I will just disappear now.

YANBU, a smear stops you getting cancer. They cut out precancerous cells before there becomes a problem. Would you watch a mole grow on your face and not whip it off if it looks suspicious? If you left it then yes you would have untold trouble - unnecessarily.

A smear isn't a big deal so really, you owe it to yourself and anyone who loves you, to pop in and get it over with. It's all done in less than a minute isn't it?

I had precancerous cells and got it treated. Jade Goody had precancerous cells and ignored it and died unnecessarily. She's left the legacy of 'how not to do it' poor girl.

There is at least one poster in here whose smear test did in fact reveal cancer. Not caused by HPV, either. She had to undergo a radical hysterectomy and chemo.

Your body, your choice, OP.

Pickled, it is a big deal to a lot of people

And, once an adult has brought up their children who, from the sounds of it, are well into adulthood, they do not owe it to anyone to have any procedure on their body they don't want.

Werks - you speak of one poster with cancer not caused by virus, who are you talking about? I can't see that post.

It was someone on MN who turned out to have it, Pickled. Not on this thread, obviously .

The test can detect precancerous cells, and those which, upon biopsy, are in fact cancer.

Very patronising and dismissive to tell a person who has been through many painful treatments that this is 'no big deal' or she owes it to others to have a procedure on her body she does not want.

I can't say too much, but I definitely support you OP. Your body, your choice.

On a practical note, say you was diagnosed with cancer and for whatever reason, like the OP you didn't want treatment. Can they FORCE you to have treatment, in the same way you can be forcibly sectioned in the case of mental illness etc.?

My Mum is 53 and I am 37, fully grown up with children (who may start their own family in a few years) and a supportive husband.

If you was my mum, I would explain and support you, but I would be so very pissed off (and very heartbroken). You would be choosing not to live and see my family grow up, let alone my siblings, should anything happen. I guess I would be angry.

Just because your children are grown up, doesn't mean they don't still need and love you.

I realise I am being selfish here, because at the end of the day I don't know how I would react - I have never had a smear. This is only how I would feel if you were my mum.
It is after all, your decision to make, and a bloody hard one at that.

I am so sorry for what you have gone through.

*not explain, understand

I totally understand that you've been through hell.
But a smear is to detect cell changes that could potentially change. It it not a cancer test.