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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

People who text and ask you to call them?

29 replies

ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties · 22/10/2014 14:40

It's just occurred to me that one friend in particular ALWAYS texts me "Are you busy? Like a chat? Call me."

Confused

Why not ask "Can I call you?"

She can't be THAT tight that she wouldn't pick up her landline and ring me! She earns way more than me.

I have this afternoon ignored one of these texts as I feel irrationally angry that for literally years, I've called her....instead of her calling me now and then! AIBU?

OP posts:
Wonc · 22/10/2014 14:42

Ugh. FIL does this to DH, except for him it IS all about the money.

ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties · 22/10/2014 15:15

Well what else could it be about and IS it as rude as I think? How can I draw her attention to the fact that she's been rumbled?

OP posts:
Wonc · 22/10/2014 15:21

Yes it is rude.

I think you are doing the right thing to ignore her.

Remembermyname · 22/10/2014 15:21

I would reply along the lines of 'would love to chat! Give me a call when you're free'. Things like that irrationally annoy me

sykadelic · 22/10/2014 15:29

I'd do as Remember said and say "Sure! Call me when you're free!"

fluffyraggies · 22/10/2014 15:31

My mum, who's never got the hang of answer machines (''helloooooooooooo. Is there anybody there? Humph'') has resisted learning to text for ages. I am trying to pursued her.

Last time we talked about it she said - in all seriousness - ''Maybe actually i should use my mobile to text. Then i just text ''ring me'' to you, cant i?

Hmm

YANBU OP

ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties · 22/10/2014 15:32

Oh yes...that's a good, positive answer remember I feel stupidly annoyed as it's a very old friendship.

OP posts:
BettyFocker · 22/10/2014 15:34

Yes, do what Remember said. Your friend isn't going to turn round and say, "No, I want you to call me" unless she's rude and tightfisted

I have the opposite problem. I'm a texter, just never been one for phone calls and prefer to text. One friend will usually ring me as soon as I've text her to discuss whatever I have text about. But it's never anything urgent or interesting. Just chit chat which would be perfectly fine in text and doesn't require urgent response or a long phonecall. But friend likes to discuss it at length!

ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties · 22/10/2014 16:06

Yes I know what you mean. My friend expects me to call her for prolonged chats in the day. I work! At home...but I take little breaks through the day of about 5-10 mins...the breaks are either to eat something or to rest my mind for a bit....I can't really chat!

OP posts:
mynewpassion · 22/10/2014 16:18

I do that if I know they tend to be busy. Letting them know when its convenient for them instead of catching them at a bad time.

Thought I was being thoughtful.

MrsDeVere · 22/10/2014 16:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

manchestermummy · 22/10/2014 16:28

Hmm. I had a text from a friend the other day asking my dh to call her. Because it turned out she didn't want to tell him a mutual friend had died by text. I guessed by her tone (he had been ill for a while).

MrsDeVere · 22/10/2014 16:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flipchart · 22/10/2014 16:34

I do it to some friends and they do it to me.
It doesn't bother me. I'm on unlimited calls and texts and so are they so it's not a money issue. However it just means we can chat at a convenient time.
Not a problem.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 22/10/2014 16:38

At least she puts something in the text. My DFil is so tight he just sends a blank message. It's code for 'ring me now'. I sometimes ignore it to see how long it takes him to phone and impart his latest news about himself.

Aherdofmims · 22/10/2014 16:44

You are nicer than me. I hate a chat on the phone under any circumstances. If you want to "chat" to me, we can meet up and you can help me look after kids at the same time! If not I will be either looking after then (can't do that while on phone), at work/working, or getting some sleep/rest/ time ALL to myself (i.e. not chatting to you about crap). But clearly I am a cow from that.

ChillyHeatwave · 22/10/2014 16:54

I do it for work if I want someone to call me about their rota. It means that I am it interrupting their day and they can call me when they are available. I thought I was bing nice! (But then I tend to text onsundays as that is when the rota is put together...and I used to ring but they all avoid my calls!! Grin

Kettricken · 22/10/2014 18:27

My FIL rings but never lets the phone ring for for than a few rings so the answering machine doesn't pick it up if we're not in. That way he doesn't pay for a call if we're not there. How tightfisted is that!

razmataz · 22/10/2014 19:32

It doesn't bother me - for me it doesn't signify being tight, it's more being courteous - rather than calling when it may not be convenient, it's an invite to call at a time that suits you.

As suggested, would just reply 'yes definitely, give me a call whenever suits'

Benchmark · 22/10/2014 20:59

I do this because I think it's more polite. No one I know has credit these days so it's irrelevant who calls who, but it's better to let someone call when it's convenient for them.

ALittleFaith · 22/10/2014 22:30

I have a friend who does this but her mobile reception is crap and I have free minutes so it's fine. It's usually a pre-agreed time and she's telling me she's ready.

However if someone does it every time without clear reasons it's just being tight.

Aridane · 22/10/2014 22:40

I do this so the person can call me for a relaxed chat when it's most convenient for them. Never realised I was being so annoying!!

mommy2ash · 22/10/2014 22:45

I have friends i do that to and friends that do that to me just depends on who has what sort of free call package on their network

coffeeslave · 22/10/2014 22:47

My sister will email or text me to ask me to email our mum to ask mum if she received an email from my sister. It's exhausting Hmm

If I say no it results in a family row Hmm

PiperIsOrange · 22/10/2014 22:56

I tell my parents, Mil and sister to text me to call them.

I have a shed load of minutes that I never use up, so instead of using their payg credit it's more worth while to me to phone them.

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