About what to do when a police car is flashing behind you (not at you).

[FuckYouSheRa]

Yesterday, in the dark, I pulled out of a t-junction onto a main road and my husband starting YELLING like a fishwife because there was a police car approaching with flashing lights.

He made me panic, I was getting up speed on the road and he was shouting, 'stop, pull over, what are you doing, there's a POLICE CAR' and made me panic even more, I ended up edging over towards the kerb and clipped a wheelie bin, shattered my wing mirror and it was all just horrible and stressful.

The police car was ages behind me, by the way, and eventually overtook me after all this on the roundabout.

Now, I have had speaks with DH about his acting like an old woman and screeching at me in the car (he has form for being an HORRENDOUS passenger), but he thinks that I should have stopped in the middle of the road and allowed the police car drive around me . He also thought I should have waited until it had gone past the junction before pulling out. I disagree as the car was a long way off at that point (long straight road) and I had plenty of time to pull out and get up speed safely.

I'm sure that when I learned to drive I was told to drive normally and pull over if it is safe to do so, not stop in the middle of what you are doing.

So what do you think, AIBU?

He is right in that you should not have pulled out but wrong in that you stop right where you are and make it so the driver has to go around you. Idiot. What if the other side is blocked.

I would be having severe words about yelling at you - that clearly does not help! - and he would be playing to fix the mirror.

You need to be fluster proof when in charge of two tonnes of metal.

As a police driver I would say you can never tell someone what to do as each situation is different.
We are trained to anticipate idiots all sorts of situations on the road so normally just find a way.
The worst thing is when people just panic and stop dead wherever they are. This causes mayhem in heavy traffic. Try to anticipate what the emergency driver is doing and if safe, pull over to make room. Don't pull over to the left if you are in a right hand lane and you can see the driver making ground through the centre of the two lanes. Some people assume you have to pull over to the left, sometimes just slowing down and nudging over to the right is fine.
Don't worry about what you did but do speak to your DH and explain that him (needlessly) shouting and flapping is not conducive to you (driver!) safely assessing what is happening and making a clear decision! You will have spent more time worrying about what he is shouting about than if you'd just seen the lights and pulled over!
Next time he flaps tell him to get out, or make him drive you everywhere.

I pull over , or stop somewhere, IF It's safe. If It's not safe at any point I do not.

The best thing to do is keep calm and safe. Even if you are in an emergency vehicle's way, either accidentally or because you can't figure out what to do, they'll find a way around you or direct you what to do.

It's preferable to being panicked, damaging your car, endangering yourself and potentially causing ANOTHER emergency!

My Dad does this in the car as a passenger and It's infuriating and he and my Mum have had many arguments because of it-he shouts and screams really loud and to a driver It's potentially the creation of a lethal situation, so I think your DH was being unreasonable.

It's hard to say whether you should have pulled out or not without seeing the exact scenario. I may or may not have done, I don't know.

I would get out of the way asap when it was safe and they could see that it was, and clear so could get though and also indicate in etc so they had an idea what I was doing - and then wait for them to get past. Never get in their way. I don't think you should have pulled out if you could see one coming -you just added an obstacle when waiting a few seconds wouldn't have.
I know what the ambulance driver means - I used to drive round London (actually I used to find it strangely moving when apparent gridlock and aggression disappeared as all the cars got out of their way) but I've been in the situation of having to drive past cars that have pulled in - cos I had nowhere else to go as people at the front had pulled in leaving me (and other drivers) behind nowhere to go to let the blue light past...
What I would warn everyone about are police cars sitting in the middle of road blocking it - no blue lights, just sitting there - think why they are there!
I was on back residential roads with lots of parked cars when I turned into a road to find it blocked ahead by a police car - no lights on, a driver in just sitting there. Was a bit puzzled but it was just before a junction - the road where I lived - so I carried on and turned into my road to narrowly miss a head on collision (just managed to swing into a gap) as the car they were trying to trap came speeding towards me...
And I do understand DH making you panic and make a bad decision
I'm cautious etc, touch wood never had an accident in almost 30yrs driving (DP is a shit, impatient driver who has had countless minor bumps) - the closest I've come to an accident in all that time was when DP was with me and kept getting on me to overtake a lorry on a twisty 60mph road...

I was driving behind a car once in this situation and as we both slowed and pulled over to the left, the driver ahead actually mounted the pavement much to the dismay of two pedestrians, luckily they weren't hit.

Unhelpful of your DH doing his Cpl Jones "Don't PANIC!" impression when you were the one at the wheel.

A police car once caused me an accident, too!It was two cars in front of me, car in front stopped and went into the back of the police car and then I went into the back of that car!

sunflower the police car didn't cause you an accident - you and the car in front caused the accident by driving too close to each other!

YABU for using terms like "yelling like a fishwife" and "acting like an old woman".

HIBU for making you panic when you were driving.

As soon as you see an emergency vehicle behind you, pull over as soon as it is safe to do so and wait until it has gone past. Anything else is bad manners and hence unreasonable.

Lol yes very true. crabby .

Although I stand by that as the road was so busy (jammed busy), the police should have pulled over near the kerb and not just stopped dead in the middle of the road -and they caused more congestion. I don't know why they stopped suddenly like that-they must have seen something going on that they needed to attend to, but right in the middle of the road?

They were very apologetic and nice about the woman who bumped them and helped us sort our insurances out.

Grr. I have a rule - if I'm driving, I'M DRIVING!

No instructions (unless I ask for directions), no commenting on my driving & no rude gestures towards other drivers!

Ideally, you would have noticed that it was an oncoming Police car & not pulled out but once you were on the road, you pull over when it is safe and convenient to do so.

stop or slow right down, make room.

they can go incredibly fast and it is difficult to judge their speed, esp in low light.

I did an Advanced Driving course and one of the things we were taught was that, when pulling out at a tee junction, whether there were traffic lights or not, we should look both ways for emergency vehicles and wait. So your husband was quite right there.

sunflower I agree - sounds like poor driving on their part too.

Pull in safely.

I live in s city and what I find shocking is the amount of cars that 'wake ride' police cars to jump all the traffic that has pulled over.

Bad form.

You seem to keep minimising the extent to which you knew the police car was coming before you pulled out - if your dh had enough time to take note of it then you, as the driver, should be even more aware.

That said, I have seen drivers do ridiculous things when an emergency vehicle needs to pass - pulling onto pavements, stopping dead in the road and hooting at every other vehicle around all adding to the panic.

It was so far back down the road that the blue lights were barely visible

In the dark, it's harder to judge closing speeds.

If an emergency vehicle is driving at night on flashing blue lights, it could be going very fast. To pull out in front a response car and "get up to speed" is straightforwardly bad driving: you can't judge its speed, and almost by definition if it's on flashing blue lights it's going at a speed which it would be illegal for you to match. Your husband over reacted, but if I were a passenger in a car in which the driver had pulled out in front of a response vehicle and then attempted to race it to a roundabout I'd be shit scared to.

He was BU to shout. You were being VU to deliberately pull out in front of a response vehicle on blue lights. Both of you need to reflect and do better next time.

I didn't try and race it to the roundabout. I drove slower than I would have usually because I was flapping, and as I pulled up to the roundabout the police car came up alongside and went ahead.

It's really difficult to describe. But it's a really long straight 40mph bit of road before the junction I pulled out of and after that it turns into a narrower bit with houses and hedges along the side.

I agree I made a mistake pulling out on the police car but I think the safest thing to have done after that mistake was keep driving until I got to a place the car could pass me safely.

Your OH was completely out of order in shouting and making you panic. However, you pulled out in front of an emergency services vehicle with its blue light on - shame on you. Hope you reported hitting the wheelie bin.

Penfold, have a sense of proportion. The police car was in the distance when OP was pulling out, she was committed to pulling out before she saw the car. It's not like the police car even had to slow down, let alone slam on its brakes. The Highway Code does require people to drive normally so far as possible when they see a car with blue lights, and that's what OP did.

I wouldn't have pulled out, but if I had I would have pulled over to the kerb as soon as safe. As someone said, in heavy traffic, if both lanes pull over as far as possible, it clears a reasonable amount of room for an emergency vehicle to get through.Don't know what your husband meant about just stopping though- sounds a v. bad idea to me! It really is hard driving like that with someone carrying on like a pork chop ( as we sayin Oz. If we're dags!) and your husband was certainly not helping the situation by the sound of it.

As a member of an ambulance service who drives an ambulance (not 'an ambulance driver', that's an insult) I want you to indicate and pull in to the side after looking in your mirror and assessing what path I'm taking, if it's a dual carriageway I may be moving up between the two lanes of traffic so don't automatically move to the left without looking in your mirror. If it's a single lane carriageway so long as you don't stop on a blind bend, by a bollard or on the brow of a hill, I will find my way round you so don't worry about traffic coming the other way, that's my problem.
Do not pull out of a side road if there is an emergency vehicle coming on blues, their speed will be difficult to assess and you present an added hazard for them to negotiate.

That said, passengers who shout at drivers are totally unreasonable.

Icimo I stand by my comment and completely agree with NCIS. Don't pull out just wait.

He sounds like my mother. I've never had an accident but I've had 3 near misses because she has shrieked and yelled about some perceived danger.

If it helps my DH is a police driver and his per hate is people stopping dead in the road when they see or hear sirens.

They're very highly trained to safely drive around you if they can.

Best to keep going at your normal speed until you find somewhere to safely pull over. Oh and not panic like your fishwife like husband, I bet he's a blue light drivers nightmare