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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About what to do when a police car is flashing behind you (not at you).

74 replies

FuckYouSheRa · 22/10/2014 13:10

Yesterday, in the dark, I pulled out of a t-junction onto a main road and my husband starting YELLING like a fishwife because there was a police car approaching with flashing lights.

He made me panic, I was getting up speed on the road and he was shouting, 'stop, pull over, what are you doing, there's a POLICE CAR' and made me panic even more, I ended up edging over towards the kerb and clipped a wheelie bin, shattered my wing mirror and it was all just horrible and stressful.

The police car was ages behind me, by the way, and eventually overtook me after all this on the roundabout.

Now, I have had speaks with DH about his acting like an old woman and screeching at me in the car (he has form for being an HORRENDOUS passenger), but he thinks that I should have stopped in the middle of the road and allowed the police car drive around me Hmm. He also thought I should have waited until it had gone past the junction before pulling out. I disagree as the car was a long way off at that point (long straight road) and I had plenty of time to pull out and get up speed safely.

I'm sure that when I learned to drive I was told to drive normally and pull over if it is safe to do so, not stop in the middle of what you are doing.

So what do you think, AIBU?

OP posts:
StripyBanana · 22/10/2014 13:25

Yup. Saw police car but pulled out AND got up to speed! What were you thinking?!

Dontstepinthecowpat · 22/10/2014 13:26

I wouldn't have pulled out, if I had have pulled out I wouldn't have waited for a roundabout on a long straight road to allow it to pass.

RiverTam · 22/10/2014 13:28

I agree that you shouldn't have pulled out - after all, what does it matter about you getting up to speed, you would have to pull over to allow the police car over anyway.

However, as you did pull out, then the safe thing to do would be to pull over to allow the police car out, absolutely not to just stop in the middle of the road. And panicky shrieking at the driver is pretty dangerous.

If your DH is a non-driver and has form for this, he'd be walking from now on in. If he does drive then he should know better.

Purplecircle · 22/10/2014 13:29

I wouldn't have pulled out but if I had Id have pulled in to let it pass when I could.
Sounds like you need more driving confidence. I would thump your OH if he does the screaming thing again, no wonder you're nervous!

TheIronGnome · 22/10/2014 13:29

There's no way you should have pulled out if you could see a police car approaching with its lights on. Why did you?

And yes, presuming a single lane road and the police car having it's lights on I would have pulled over to let it pass. Anything else will be you getting in their way.

I drive around London a lot and have to deal with emergency vehicles a lot, it massively infuriates me when people don't get out of the way.

firesidechat · 22/10/2014 13:30

If the police car was visible from the junction then I would have stayed where I was and waited for it to pass. If they had their lights on then the chances are they were travelling at spend.

If the police car was only visible once I had pulled out I would have quickly found a safe place, indicated and pulled over until they had passed.

So was it visible at the junction or not?

whois · 22/10/2014 13:31

Wouldn't have pulled out, but if I had I would move to the side of the road and slow right down to allow them to go thru the middle.

firesidechat · 22/10/2014 13:31

Travelling at speed not spend. Blush

ExtraWickedDevil · 22/10/2014 13:32

Does your DH Drive?

He shouldn't have shouted at you - but I'm with the others who already said you shouldn't have pulled out. In front of an emergency response vehicle. In the dark.

pudcat · 22/10/2014 13:34

You should not have pulled out. If they had an onboard camera which records all traffic you might find yourself having a visit to talk about your driving.

magpiegin · 22/10/2014 13:36

He ibu about shouting but YABU for pulling out.

MindReader · 22/10/2014 13:36

If you see them coming then don't pull out.
Once you are out you indicate and pull over as soon as you safely can.
Never freeze and stop in the middle.

I live close to an area with lots of blue lights and they do 70mph easily and they don't/cant stop quickly.

Your H was being irresponsible to shout at you - mind I shouted: 'STOP!'at H who failed to stop at a dangerous junction recently. He was distracted and simply failed to stop. Muppet.

Original poster
FuckYouSheRa · 22/10/2014 13:36

I didn't register it was a police car tbh until I'd already committed to pulling out. I'd seen a car (headlights) and hadn't fully clicked that the blue lights in the distance were a police car.

So I accept that I was BU with that, but not with what I did afterwards which was to keep driving safely . It didn't catch up to me until I was at the roundabout and the road had split into two, that's how far behind me it was.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 22/10/2014 13:36

YABU for pulling out in to the path of the police car instead of waiting for it to pass.

YABU for entering another junction (roundabout).

YABU for using the words 'fishwife' and 'old woman' as derogatory terms.

No wonder your dh is a 'nervous passenger'. Are you sure that's with everyone and not just you? Grin

Nicknacky · 22/10/2014 13:37

pudcat unless her driving was particularly shocking then she won't hear anymore about it. Emergency service drivers see poor driving standards on every blue light call so would take days to visit them all!

I don't think I ever have spoken to a driver about their driving but that's because I didn't catch their number plate. I did go looking for one driver in the same area that nearly wiped me out, right enough! Didn't find her though.

MindReader · 22/10/2014 13:37

There are figures for the number of people / vehicles being hit by Police cars at speed somewhere ... off to Google ... it is surprisingly high...

Nicknacky · 22/10/2014 13:38

You shouldn't be letting it "catch up". Pull over in plenty of time which stops you panicking as much.

Fairenuff · 22/10/2014 13:41

Did you go back to the owners of the wheelie bin to see how much damage you caused?

Original poster
FuckYouSheRa · 22/10/2014 13:41

I wouldn't have panicked if he hadn't been flapping and yelling. I'm a confident driver, I've never had any crashes or near misses in my seven years of driving except for one other time when he screeched at me pulling onto a roundabout and my instinct was to slam on the brakes Hmm.

OP posts:
Original poster
FuckYouSheRa · 22/10/2014 13:42

Yes, and to pick up my wing mirror. Wheelie bin was knocked over but fine. My wing mirror is fucked.

OP posts:
Siarie · 22/10/2014 13:42

I wouldn't have I pulled out onto the road, if I was already on the road I would have slowed to a stop (not on the kerb but pulled in).

Nicknacky · 22/10/2014 13:45

I agree he flustered you, but it doesn't sound like you gave yourself much time to react which shows in the fact you have damaged your car.

Original poster
FuckYouSheRa · 22/10/2014 13:47

There was traffic coming the other way, narrow road at that point, if I'd slowed down or stopped I'd have blocked the police car (or he'd have gone in the back of me).

What I tried to do was speed up to the flow of traffic and get to the roundabout where he'd have room to go past. What actually happened though was that DH shouting 'pull over, pull over' meant I edged closer and closer to the edge (no path, so not a kerb really) and then clipped th ebin that was sticking out over someone's drive.

Hideous all round really.

I absolutely agree I shouldn't have pulled out but I didn't have a time machine, it was an error in judgement and I had to try and make the best of it after that. It was so far back down the road that the blue lights were barely visible, obvs as soon as I puled out I registered that it was a police car and then had DH bellowing in my ear.

OP posts:
ThisBitchIsResting · 22/10/2014 13:48

You had a plan for what to do and you weren't just ignoring the police car. That's all that matters in this situation for now I think. Your DH was trying to force you to change what you were doing and this caused you stress and you became out of control of the vehicle - a far more serious issue than it was.

Your DH sounds dangerous and I would have a talk to him about how important it is not to shout / distract a driver. Regardless of whether he would have done things differently, you are the driver, you're the one in control of the car and he has now caused two minor accidents - what if next time he yells at you, it causes a serious accident? Please talk to him. Does he not trust you as a driver?

Nicknacky · 22/10/2014 13:51

The police do not want to to take such evasive action that you damage your car, it is their responsibility to get past you safely. Obv I don't know the road but assuming it is one lane in each direction then if you pull over and the oncoming traffic do likewise then they have room to get down the middle.

If not, then they drive behind you until they can get past, and should (in theory) turn off sirens so as not to intimidate you.