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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be put off using a childminder for this?

140 replies

appleharvest · 21/10/2014 17:13

I am being completely unreasonable and I suppose I'm wondering why.

Shopping around for childcare at the moment for DDs (2 and 5 months.) I need full time places for them both.

I visited a childminder who was telling me about her rule that, when out of the house, all her mindees wore a luminous vest with her childminding company name and phone number on it.

I understand why this is a good idea from a safety perspective but I hated it. It seemed too much like an orphanage or something!

I know I am BU but I hate the thought of DD1 sitting at the dentists or walking through the shopping centre or to a school with a luminous vest on saying she is looked after by someone who isn't her parent.

OP posts:
adsy · 21/10/2014 17:16

Yes YABU!! I think it shows a very safety conscious attitude by the CM.
Can I ask what you think people will think if they realise your children are with a CM? It's really not that unusual you know!

MummyBeerest · 21/10/2014 17:16

It...sounds kind of weird. But I get it.

Apart from that, did you like the cm?

jacks365 · 21/10/2014 17:17

very practical and sensible safety precautions. YABU

ProudAS · 21/10/2014 17:17

I think it's the norm for nurseries etc but if it's not commonplace for CMs and you are uncomfortable then that's different.

The perfect CM may be hard to find though.

PinkAndBlueBedtimeScares · 21/10/2014 17:17

But they are being looked after by someone who isn't their parent!

Tbh it think it's quite a good use, especially if the cm is a popular one and has different children different days etc, means she can tell quickly if one is wandering off!

callamia · 21/10/2014 17:18

Loads of schools and nurseries near me do this. It's not uncommon, and I think it's quite professional. What puts you off?

Original poster
appleharvest · 21/10/2014 17:18

I know adsy! I'm not remotely bothered (honestly) about her being in childcare - which is why I don't know why I feel so strongly about the 'vest' but something about it just makes me feel really sad.

She was okay. I'd happily leave the girls there: doubt they'd come to any harm at all.

OP posts:
peacypops · 21/10/2014 17:18

Nurseries often do this if they take the children out. I wouldn't have a problem with it.

MegaClutterSlut · 21/10/2014 17:18

YABU I think it's great that she uses a vest with details on especially if one of them manages to run off. I think you're way over thinking it tbh

GreenPetal94 · 21/10/2014 17:18

I don't think its key. At my after school club the younger kids wear these and actually they just all accept it. It is safer in parks type environment as you can spot who you care for.

Original poster
appleharvest · 21/10/2014 17:20

Bizarrely I wouldn't be as bothered, if at all, by a nursery. Certainly not a school.

I think perhaps it's because a childminder is 'home away from home' - well you wouldn't do this to your own children, would you?

It feels very institutionalised and methodical I suppose. Maybe that's why I don't like it.

OP posts:
adsy · 21/10/2014 17:20

Apart from the running off safety thing it shows she has 100% confidence that she will never treat the children in any way that could be interpreted as unkind as her name and number are emblazoned on them ripe for OFSTED reporting.
I'd say that makes her a top contender!!

MotherOfInsomniacToddlers · 21/10/2014 17:21

I've seen child minders using these when in the park and on a walk and not thought "wow they aren't with a parent" and well even if people think that..... They aren't with a parent Wink but that isn't a negative thing?

Seems like a sensible idea to me tbh

Only1scoop · 21/10/2014 17:21

Yabu....

I'd look at a nursery instead....

Original poster
appleharvest · 21/10/2014 17:22

I suppose that's true adsy although that's just when they're out Hmm I think a lot has to come down to trust.

Just the same I really don't like it which is ridiculous, I know, but I don't!

OP posts:
adsy · 21/10/2014 17:22

The thing is, though CM's are a home from home and strive to be like that most of the time, if you have lots of little ones to look after you have to have a more methodical approach when out and about just to keep them safe.
You wouldn't do it at home but you wouldn't have say 6 children at school pick up to keep safe.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 21/10/2014 17:23

Hi op.

When I was a cm I used reflective jackets for walks to keep us safe.

I had an envelope in my handbag with all the children's photos and contact details on incase of an accident or illness to me.

Look at it this way she must be bloody sure her practise is excellent as she would be so easy to report.

She sounds mega professional to be honest.

The days of an auntie figure next door minding for pin money has long gone.

Childminding if now a very professional and lucrative business.

Original poster
appleharvest · 21/10/2014 17:24

Only, that's probably what I will end up doing, primarily because I need absolute watertight childcare due to having no one else to have the girls.

It's a shame though as they will be separated and DD1 adores DD2.

I hoped somebody could explain why I felt as I do so I could understand it and go with the childminder but it seems I'm just odd well I knew that Grin

OP posts:
Yackityyakyak · 21/10/2014 17:25

I think I'd feel the same as you, Op.

I know its brilliant from a safety aspect, but my DC really felt they were visiting a friends' house when they were at their CMs, and to me this would stop that feeling.

Under 5 year olds, surely she shouldn't have so many that she couldn't keep an eye on them? After schoolies, I would have thought they would be getting back to her place, asap anyway?

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 21/10/2014 17:25

It is a home from home but at home.

I had 4 under 5 and safety was my top top top priority.

They are not your children to risk.

Only1scoop · 21/10/2014 17:27

I kind of get you....I looked at 5 nurseries before deciding on dd's....

Just find the whole childminder thing weird....I'd find it embarrassing going to view someones house and scrutinising their front room Confused

Would feel odd to me dropping dd off at a house....

There's pros and cons though and I'm a bit oddBlush

adsy · 21/10/2014 17:28

apple you can have watertight childcare with CM's too. Ask her what her contingency plans are. Most of us now have back up CM's who the mindees all know who can step in if we are ever off ill( though you will find that being SE means CM's are very very rarely off; I've had a sum total of one afternoon off ill in the last 9 years and even then made sure the mindees had "cover" before I collapsed!!)

Yackityyakyak · 21/10/2014 17:28

4 under 5? I thought 3 was the limit, I guess you had siblings and an exemption.

Iggi999 · 21/10/2014 17:30

You want her to be able to spot her four or five children instantly in a playground or wherever. (why would they be at the dentist?) I have enough trouble spotting my own, fruit-of-my-loins dcs in a busy environment. I think it's not a problem at all.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 21/10/2014 17:30

Lots of cms have 4 under 5 with variations And some after schoolers.

Can't understand this really.

If a minded child was hit by a car or being mistreated or ignored mumsnet would be up In arms.

Here's a cm doing a spot on risk assessment and she's still wrong.

Very strange.

Sure at home it's cozy and a home from home but going outside is risky.