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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to complain about this man?

48 replies

Pishedorf · 21/10/2014 12:59

I was driving home yesterday past a large tesco which is on a main road and was a single lane of traffic widening into dual carriageway at the crest of a hill if that makes sense. There was a man stood in the 1st lane where it widens into 2 lanes, he was practically standing in the 2nd lane, so all the oncoming traffic had to swerve to avoid him.

I am an experienced driver but a little shaky after a recent crash (not my fault) so I must have pulled a face when I went past as I find that kind of thing a bit unnerving.

About 20 yards later we pulled up at a red light (why he couldn't have crossed the road there I don't know) and he crossed the road and stood there yelling swear words at me making obscene 'wanker' gestures and it was quite intimidating to be sat there receiving that level of abuse. It was definately directed at me.

He was wearing a tesco uniform. So I called to complain about him. I'm expecting a call back today from one of the managers as no one was in yesterday?

AIBU to complain to his place of work? He's wearing their uniform so I suppose technically he is a representative of their brand even outside of the store.

OP posts:

Fudgeface123 · 21/10/2014 13:12

Sounds like he was banking the wagon out which is why he was probably in the road waiting for the traffic to stop. From his reaction it sounds like you may have made more than a face?

SmellyMuffin · 21/10/2014 13:15

More victim blaming again I see.....

Fudgeface123 · 21/10/2014 13:17

It wasn't intentional but from what the OP said about 'making a face' his reaction was unbelievable. That's all I meant

TheCowThatLaughs · 21/10/2014 13:17

I don't think you can say the op may have made more than a face because of his reaction? I also don't think the op was unreasonable to complain about him.

SmellyMuffin · 21/10/2014 13:19

Why is it unbelievable? Some people are overly sensitive to any kind of criticism and will fly off the handle and go into an epic rage over the most mundane things. Banking the lorry out or not, standing in the middle of a busy road is stupid and dangerous anyway.

Fudgeface123 · 21/10/2014 13:19

No I don't think it was unreasonable to complain, I never said that and after reading OP again, it appears he wasn't banking out a wagon, just crossing the road. But his reaction was extreme for a bit of face pulling, that's all I was getting at.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 21/10/2014 13:19

Personally I wouldn't bother as he committed no offence and anyway it's your opinion and no evidence.

victim blaming. bit dramatic!

The op was embaressed and upset but she pulled a face at the bloke and he retaliated albeit over the top.

It's life.

SmellyMuffin · 21/10/2014 13:20

Yes his reaction was extreme and uncalled for, and that's why the OP is perfectly within her rights to complain about him.

Icimoi · 21/10/2014 13:22

Thebody, swearing publicly and making obscene gestures is an offence, and clearly OP is reporting on facts, not opinion.

It doesn't matter whether it's an offence anyway. I can't imagine Tescos seriously want their staff to behave like that and they will or should want to do something about it.

GirlWithTheLionHeart · 21/10/2014 13:23

His reaction was vile. Complain to Tesco definitely

Figster · 21/10/2014 13:23

Did u see his name badge? How will they identify him?

MrsWolowitz · 21/10/2014 13:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KnackeredMuchly · 21/10/2014 13:36

I'd complain, absolutely.

PurpleSwift · 21/10/2014 13:48

Of course yanbu. Him behaving in such a way whilst representing tesco is something they should be concerned about.

Original poster

Pishedorf · 21/10/2014 13:49

I didn't see his name badge but can describe him very well.

I honestly didn't react more than making what to me felt like a 'uh oh there's a bloke in the road must swerve last minute (into oncoming traffic as there is no pavement in between the lanes) face'. I didn't say anything/mouth anything or react in any other way that an 'eeek' type face. And it wasn't 'at' the bloke it was 'at' the situation.

thebody I wouldn't be surprised if there was CCTV evidence as it was right outside the store. My DH is a store manager for another company and when things like this happen he has to review CCTV images.

OP posts:

Original poster

Pishedorf · 21/10/2014 13:50

Oh and what does banking the wagon mean? I've never heard that before!

OP posts:

WitchWay · 21/10/2014 13:53

Backing out presumably

Finola1step · 21/10/2014 13:54

Complain. Whilst wearing the uniform, he is representing the company. His language and actions were unacceptable.

You did not make him stand in the middle of the road. You did not cause his heightened stress levels. But it sounds like he made the choice to take his pissed off attitude out on you. He does not have the right to make this choice.

Report him.

HowlCapone · 21/10/2014 13:57

uh oh there's a bloke in the road must swerve last minute

Why last minute? Do you think he could have been reacting to the fact you reacted too late rather than pulling a face?

grocklebox · 21/10/2014 14:01

Bit much to ring his work. He wasn't in work at the time, I don't see what it has to do with them or even what you expect them to do about it?
He was an idiot. But you over-reacted imo.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 21/10/2014 14:01

Agreed he Sounds horrible and unhinged but without a witness or CCTV then it's the ops word against his.

To add if someone is this strange I would strongly hesitate in advising the op to potentially continue a dispute with him. Who knows what his background is. No one on here.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 21/10/2014 14:04

To add I have sworn and flicked the vs to crap drivers while a pedestrian.

Not saying you are a crap driver op or that it's right but people do have bloody awful days and do stupid things.

Fudgeface123 · 21/10/2014 14:08

Sorry Pishe, by law when a vehicle is reversing onto a road they need what is called a banksman. This person is trained to guide vehicles safely out onto the road using hand signals etc., whilst also stopping traffic either side. I work in construction and all wagons, large vans require a banksman.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 21/10/2014 14:17

Offence or not it's still her word against his so not worth reporting.

Op you could have swerved and frightened the Crap out of him doing his job as fudge says and then you pulled a cats bum face at him.

He was ott but in my opinion it's a bit ott to report him. And a waste of time. Up up you though.

parakeet · 21/10/2014 14:20

I can't believe the number of people advising against reporting him.

He was behaving most aggressively and, as someone has pointed out, illegally. Sure, the police probably wouldn't do anything - men (and sorry, but men do tend to be more aggressive than women on the road) do this all the time, after all, and those on the receiving end (usually women) just have to suck it up, and drive on their way feeling shaken and upset.

On this occasion, though, happily for the OP, she has the option of reporting him to his employer. Hopefully he will get a telling-off that might make him think twice in future.

I would report like a shot.

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