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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to complain about this man?

48 replies

Pishedorf · 21/10/2014 12:59

I was driving home yesterday past a large tesco which is on a main road and was a single lane of traffic widening into dual carriageway at the crest of a hill if that makes sense. There was a man stood in the 1st lane where it widens into 2 lanes, he was practically standing in the 2nd lane, so all the oncoming traffic had to swerve to avoid him.

I am an experienced driver but a little shaky after a recent crash (not my fault) so I must have pulled a face when I went past as I find that kind of thing a bit unnerving.

About 20 yards later we pulled up at a red light (why he couldn't have crossed the road there I don't know) and he crossed the road and stood there yelling swear words at me making obscene 'wanker' gestures and it was quite intimidating to be sat there receiving that level of abuse. It was definately directed at me.

He was wearing a tesco uniform. So I called to complain about him. I'm expecting a call back today from one of the managers as no one was in yesterday?

AIBU to complain to his place of work? He's wearing their uniform so I suppose technically he is a representative of their brand even outside of the store.

OP posts:
parakeet · 21/10/2014 14:21

OP please update after your phone call.

ViviPru · 21/10/2014 14:24

I'm with Thebody. That's not to say you were in the wrong/he wasn't being a dick; I just couldn't be bothered to pursue it, myself.

ScarletFever · 21/10/2014 14:30

if he was in uniform and indeed banking a truck out, then it looks like he was in work

if he was only in his uniform, well he is still representing his company - his behaviour was completely out of order - especially if he was standing somewhere not safe or clearly in view - if its that difficult to get out of there, then they should maybe revisit their procedures as they are obviously not fit for purpose

Quite frankly - if he's doing something stupid in the road (whether through work or otherwise) , so what if she made a face, or tooted him, or shouted get out the way, he still should not have been shouting or making obscene gestures - her car didnt hit him

I would have reported him right that minute and you are WELL within your rights to do so

HerVagesty · 21/10/2014 14:33

Have I missed something?? He wasn't in a car as far as I am readiing, but standing in the road to cross?

Just, OP mentions that he could have used the crossing to, you know, cross Confused

SpringBreaker · 21/10/2014 14:35

where has this lorry reversing out come from??? Op doesnt mention a lorry, and besides, a "large Tesco" would have a very big car park, so there would be no need for a lorry to reverse out onto a main road ever.

HerVagesty · 21/10/2014 14:36

OOHH sorry. You all think he was guiding out another vehicle. I'm with you now.

I still think the OP is indicating that he was crossing as a pedestrian though and not actually working at the time!

ViviPru · 21/10/2014 14:39

I need a clearer mental image. OP, this in particular is confusing:

"a man stood in the 1st lane where it widens into 2 lanes, he was practically standing in the 2nd lane"

Sooooo.... was he standing in the 1st lane or the 2nd lane? Was he standing still facing the oncoming traffic or facing across the road? Or was he walking? Or perhaps he was standing still on the white lines between the lanes as if waiting to cross the 2nd lane? I'm being pedantic I know but it's hard to judge the situation without getting an idea of what he was actually doing....

Original poster
Pishedorf · 21/10/2014 14:43

He was crossing as a pedestrian yes but clearly after leaving a shift at work as he was wearing his tesco uniform with a tesco fleece over it.

The reason I would have had to swerve as is because he wasn't visible straight away because of his location, it was just after the crest of a hill and he was standing in the road trying to cross. Sorry if I didn't explain properly. I wasn't speeding or driving dangerously. In fact I was going quite slowly as I know there are traffic lights just after the hill and it's a stupidly busy road where many drivers act like twats.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pishedorf · 21/10/2014 14:44

He was facing across the road standing just over the white lines between the first and the second lane

OP posts:
ViviPru · 21/10/2014 14:53

Ok. That's clearer. He was just being a dick then crossing in a stupid place.

It all just sounds like a bit of a heat of the moment hoo har. But then I'm used to pissing dickheads off on the road (some men don't like it when they come across a woman in a powerful car) and ignoring them if they give me grief. YANBU to complain if you felt it was the right thing to do.

Original poster
Pishedorf · 21/10/2014 15:48

I called the customer service main number and they were horrified. They're going to follow it up.

I'm used to dickheads on the road. Perhaps I was more shaken than I normally would be as I was driving back from a very difficult counselling session and was feeling vulnerable anyway. That's why I wanted to see if maybe I was being too sensitive.

If it was just a one off shout and filthy look etc I wouldn't have been intimidated. But he stood at the side of the road screaming at me whilst I was stationary in a queue of traffic for a good minute or two.

I don't want anything out of it (like vouchers or anything, I've never complained to a store before. I normally put up and shut up) but I don't want this man to think it is ok behave that way.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 21/10/2014 15:54

What sort of things was he screaming?

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 21/10/2014 16:15

Can understand you were upset op and obviously you are vulnerable too but who knows maybe he was too? He was wrong but wouldn't know you were especially vulnerable and you know nothing of his vulnerabilities/stresses.

You swerved amd pulled a face. He was angry and swore at you.

If everyone reported everyone else for bad judgment, swearing or flicking the Vs from time to time no one would be above Blane.

Still you have reported it now which I think uou were going to anyway so that's that.

quietbatperson · 21/10/2014 16:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Pishedorf · 21/10/2014 16:31

Various swear words and also doing the 'wanker' gesture to me worra

Maybe he was stressed and vulnerable body but I was too. And I didn't swear or scream at him. I'm not using my vulnerability as an excuse for my behaviour. I hardly think my behaviour needs an excuse. I wondered if my vulnerability was causing an overreaction. I now don't think I was overreacting as such. I'd already complained before posting this anyway. So I wasn't going anywhere with the post. I was just asking for opinions about it. And you think I overreacted, which is fine of course. I wasn't sure, but now I don't think I did.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pishedorf · 21/10/2014 16:35

In fact (sorry to drip feed)...

After I had stopped in the line of traffic he stood there whistling for a few seconds (how you would whistle for a dog) as I didn't realise Id done anything so thought it was someone else but it was persistent so I checked and there he was directly opposite me doing what I call 'the angry smirk' at me and when I looked he then started screaming and gesturing.

OP posts:
Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 21/10/2014 16:40

pisherdorf you are quite within your rights to do whatever you think is correct of course you are.

Personally I wouldn't hAve because I know I have reacted to things others have done in a ott way. Probably like this bloke. Not proud but honest.

But you did what you thought was right.

SistersOfPercy · 21/10/2014 16:56

Backing a wagon out? How the feck does anyone arrive at that conclusion from the OP?
Tesco wagons reverse into the loading bays, therefore leave the store forwards. An employee wouldn't be backing a wagon out onto a dual carriageway. Aside from the obvious health and safety implications of this it's just not how deliveries are made.

OP, you are right to complain to store.

lottiegarbanzo · 21/10/2014 17:06

I'd have complained - without hesitation.

Someone who behaves like that once will probably have done / do it again.

Just think of the next person he attacks and how much better they're going to feel at not bring met with a 'really? We've never heard of anything like this before!'.

quietbatperson · 21/10/2014 17:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MiddletonPink · 21/10/2014 17:11

Maybe he thought you were going to run him over because you swerved last minute?

Nomama · 21/10/2014 17:58

Nope - he was definitely being a twat. A stupid one at that, still in his work uniform, so that makes it a work problem too.

Like everyone else, he should have used the crossing. Again, like everyone else, he has no recourse to threatening and swearing if his actions put his life in danger and he scared the crap out of someone else too.

He is a twat. I hope you get some sensible bod who phones back and tells you he was being a total dick and they know who he is and, for bringing the company into disrepute, he will be spoken to when he goes back into work.

Original poster
Pishedorf · 21/10/2014 18:29

Maybe he did Middleton. But I followed the line of traffic who were all swerving to avoid him. So why pick me out? Purely because I grimaced?

OP posts:
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