to be fed up of sympathy from other parents about my DC attending holiday clubs during half term?

[spookyskeleton]

Have had several conversations with other parents along the lines of:

Them - ooh not long till half term now, lovely family time.
Me - oh my 2 are in holiday clubs for most of the holidays.
Them - oh the poor kids (accompanied by sad face)
Me - I have no choice, neither me or DH have any holiday left.

Why do I seem to be one of a handful of parents who doesn't have a job that allows every school holiday off. Where are these jobs and if they are so difficult to get, why does everyone else have one??

Hate been made to feel guilty about my 'poor' children having to go to holiday clubs (which they actually enjoy).

Yanbu. My kids want to go and can't.

My daughter is going to holiday club on 3 days even though I am off work ( looking after youngest dd). She's going because it's dance, gymnastics and performing arts, things she wants to do and I want her to have that experience. What's right for your family is what matters.

Mine do sports clubs every holidays, they love it and it's good for them!

I suspect they are stay at home Mothers aren't they? Or people with part time jobs...not full time jobs which allow every school holiday off.

As long as you're happy that's ok. Horses for courses and all that. Why would it matter to you if other parents make different choices?

Do your children get some down time though? They are usually very tired at the end of each half term.

Well your answer did kind of encourage their sympathy

Why mention holiday club at all ?

Unless you are in a job that has all the school holidays off, then the children have to go.

TBH I think it does them the world of good.

We get it too - and people 'helpfully' asking if ds can't go to his grandparents. Cos, obv if that was an option we wouldn't do so.

Its not even possible to take school holidays off either - my boss has arranged a 3 day meeting in California thats non negotiable, let alone having enough leave

I, and my DC, are happy with it (and even if weren't, what other options have i got??) therefore it doesn't require a sympathetic response! Not sure why my response would have elicited sympathy, I just stated the fact that half term is not going to be 'lovely family time'. What should I have said? Just nodded in agreement??

In terms of the children getting downtime, I don't work one day a week so they will be getting a couple of days at home (along with weekends) but if I was full time, that wouldn't be an option. Again, whilst 'downtime' maybe desirable, it is not always a feasible option for working parents.

"Why mention holiday club at all ?"

Why not mention it?

My DCs go to holiday club most of the time and it works for us just fine. They get to do a lot more fun stuff there than I'd do with them. Ours does archery, swimming, age related crafts, all sorts of fun things.

I agree OP. I get this too.

I felt guilty - once. I asked DS if he minded going to holiday activity.

his reply?
'are you kidding? we get to play all day, dress up, play sport, games, x-box on the extended day. LOVE IT!

he's an only child so loves having loads of people to play with.

My DC are cross with me that they aren't going to holiday club this half term as I've managed to get the week off..

(YANBU)

I think you get sympathy off the people who don't like holiday clubs, the ones who value family time during the holidays.
You may find something you could give them sympathy for, I'm sure.
FWIW, I am one of the above and would have given you sympathy as I wouldn't want my dc nor did they or would they want to go to an after school, breakfast or holiday club.

Who cares what they think! I am a teacher but my DD still sometimes goes to holiday clubs because a) she loves it b) I have work to do and c) I need a break too!

I don't really understand this term related tiredness some parents harp on about. Ds gets up in a morning and is ready for action. He sleeps at night when he is tired from that particular day's activities. the next day, he is ready again. He doesn't experience a build up of fatigue over weeks and weeks. Some parents are obsessed with kids being "tired"! Most kids I see have far more energy than adults!

Even part timbers have to use holiday club...

Ynbu..my kids don't mind it, I would rather have holidays of as I loved the half terms. But that's the way the cookie crumbles

I how ever have October halfterm off as I'm not allowed any in December so Whoo

You can't win OP!

I've managed to get this half term off work and our dc are moaning that they won't be going to out of school club!

Dd quite often has to do holiday clubs if our shifts don't fall right. We get the sympathetic looks too. Dd loves the holiday clubs and complains when she can't go!

morethanpotato Isn't lovely that you're happy with your choices and your lifestyle, and so are your kids? Why the fuck do you feel it necessary to patronise people who are living differently to you with your "sympathy" which is nothing but a "look what a fantastic mummy I am and what a shit mother you are" disguised.

widowwadman my thoughts exactly! morethanpotato your post is very 'holier than thou'

I also don't get this 'tiredness' thing. I have never noticed a build up of tiredness as the term goes on. Maybe it is because my 2 were in nursery 8-5.30 4 days a week from an early age for far more weeks of the year than they are at school. Without turning this into a WOHM/SAHM issue, the people who comment on their DC's tiredness are invariably those who didn't use nurseries other than the free 15 hours

I work part time and have a nanny, so my daughter went to a couple of holiday camps over the summer, for fun, but not for childcare.she was very jealous of her friend who has a full time working mum and so did camps all summer! Go figure.....

Well now YOU'RE sniping at people OP.

Not always Spooky, my older 2 tend to hit a tiredness wall at the end of this term and they went to nursery full time from 6 months onwards don't know why, it just happens. Youngest isn't yet in nursery and is full of beans year round.
DD1 would love to go to an after school club but tbh as I'm now a childminder it's utterly pointless for me to send her!
OP try to view it as just one more thing in a very long list that you'll get judged for as a parent and rise above. It's the only way.

I'm so sorry Spooky I'm on the app and couldn't check back to see that you are the OP!
I'm a tit, sorry

It's worth knowing that when they outgrow holiday clubs, you can continue the salary sacrifice thing to buy childcare vouchers (if you're fortunate enough to have such a scheme) and use them for PGL.

That, Scouts and Cadets fills a lot of the hols. If there's half term or Easter ski trip, better still - it's pricey but once you no longer need wraparound and holiday care it's way more affordable.

Mine would hate to lose any of this to indulge me with additional precious moments 'family time'. We have weekends, evenings and the rest of the holidays for that.