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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be fed up of sympathy from other parents about my DC attending holiday clubs during half term?

43 replies

spookyskeleton · 20/10/2014 18:00

Have had several conversations with other parents along the lines of:

Them - ooh not long till half term now, lovely family time.
Me - oh my 2 are in holiday clubs for most of the holidays.
Them - oh the poor kids (accompanied by sad face)
Me - I have no choice, neither me or DH have any holiday left.

Why do I seem to be one of a handful of parents who doesn't have a job that allows every school holiday off. Where are these jobs and if they are so difficult to get, why does everyone else have one??

Hate been made to feel guilty about my 'poor' children having to go to holiday clubs (which they actually enjoy).

OP posts:

wonderingsoul · 20/10/2014 19:45

Iv noticed the tiredness build up, where imo they just need a break or maybe it's because they know half term is coming up and they know they can relax so it comes out in tiredness.. I dunno the teachers mention it to.

Mime have alsongone to nursery quite young to

MassaAttack · 20/10/2014 19:46

Re tiredness - my teenager does get tired at the end of term. As do teacher friends. They don't need weeks on end to recuperate, though.

Parker231 · 20/10/2014 19:47

Mine went to breakfast club, after school club and holiday club - no choice when you both work full time. I think you'll find most working parents use the clubs and it's the norm and part of the family routine - mine moaned if I collected them from school (when I could) and they didn't go to after school club !

Original poster

spookyskeleton · 20/10/2014 19:50

Yes I also get the moaning about not going. DS1 went to breakfast club and after school club 3 days a week religiously for the first 3 years but DH works from home a lot more now so can drop them off and pick them up. DS1 begs to go to after school club all the time as his friends go quite often! Cannot win

OP posts:

morethanpotatoprints · 20/10/2014 19:51

Why the hell is my post holier than thou.
I don't think me or my kids are better than anybody elses nor our decisions.
I was merely stating why some people would sympathise, because they think differently.
Can you not relate to this or are you putting my opinion down because you feel guilty for using them.
FFs that's what the OP was asking.
I didn't even use the free 15 hours.

PolyesterBride · 20/10/2014 19:51

This annoys me too! They look at me like they can't believe what an awful situation I'm in because I can't get all the holidays off. It makes me feel like they have no awareness that other people don't have part-time/term time jobs and grandparents around. Ok so you wouldn't choose it - so what would you do in my situation? Not work (and have no money to pay rent and buy food)? Not have kids in the first place? I don't really get what they think the options are.

Ilovenicesoap · 20/10/2014 19:53

Mine were shattered and holidays were for lie ins, mooching ,reading and seeing friends and family.
I will never forget the time a SAHM friend of mine cheerfully called us at 06.50 am on the first day of the hols to see if DD wanted to go with them to walk their bloody fucking dog!
NO!

HandMini · 20/10/2014 19:56

People are just interested in what other people do.

I ask all my parent friends what they do about childcare because it's something I need to know about, not because I judge want they do. I may well follow up by telling them we do it differently, but that's not to judge, just to offer another perspective.

I'm don't think I would read judgement / disgust / sympathy into the kind of words the OP describes.

It's only sympathy if there's something to be sympathetic for, and it sounds as though a lot of people using holiday clubs are just find with that, so there's no sympathy.

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 20/10/2014 19:57

I was once called a part time parent, by one of the mums in the school yard when I said my children were staying elsewhere for the hols as we were working. Some folk have the tact and diplomacy of a brick. I didn't lamp her one in her smug face though.

Stillwishihadabs · 20/10/2014 19:57

My dcs adore pony camp / pgl/ football camp, I do 4/3 days a week but they really moan if they miss a day,so end up going for 5. It works well as I get a break and can save annual leave for Xmas and the long summer break.

neverletgojack · 20/10/2014 19:59

As a 'holiday club child' I can safely say...

ITS THE BEST THING EVER.

I didn't want to be cooped up with my siblings for a week, there would have been war haha.
My mum was a stay at home mum but she let us go as we wanted too and it was her church that ran it and we were all very involved with church stuff.

If my parents wanted to do something with us at HT we just missed a day.

Ignore the pittiers, they seem to be a precious bunch

edwinbear · 20/10/2014 20:00

OP YANBU. Mine is with the childminder for half term which he finds boring, he would love a holiday club but the hours are too short for me to make it work. Life is a series of compromises and everyone makes different decisions, rarely are any of them perfect.

Milliways · 20/10/2014 20:00

I used to get this too. My DD went to a nursery 3 days a week from 6m old and full time from 18m, then when she started school we had after school clubs and holiday clubs (and DS arrived to join her at these).

She is now married and DS is at Uni. I spoke to her about this again recently, had she ever resented any of it. She said she always knew she could tell me if she was unhappy. Over the years we moved her from an after school childminder to an after school club she preferred, from a Holiday club to a Sports Centre club etc. She knew we couldn't change things immediately but would explore options and try things to suit both of them.

She used to moan if I got to clubs early as they may miss something.

Stillwishihadabs · 20/10/2014 20:00

Btw we do have gps but they don't have energy to keep up with the dcs for more than a couple of days.

unclerory · 20/10/2014 20:09

Oh it's a bit PA isn't it. I think you've just been unfortunate with the people you've talked to, it's all 'which holiday club do your kids enjoy the most?' round here. We used a holiday sports club for the first time this year and the kids loved it and wanted to go again the next week. They did so many different sports, saw lots of their friends from school, made some new friends, and had a fantastic time. We'll be using it more this year, gives us more family holiday time if we can use holiday club.

Ilovenicesoap · 20/10/2014 20:09

Actually Op the best thing is to bluff it like everyone else
Those who SAH and have marvellous family time actually all get norovirus and spend all week vomiting or changing sheets x 5.
Those who go away all get norovirus and spend all week vomiting and changing sheets in an exotic ( sometimes boring) location.

Bluff it !
oh yes we went to Naples - oh yes lovely!

mrsminiverscharlady · 20/10/2014 20:22

They'd have a heart attack at some of the parents I know - it's common for children to go to holiday club despite there being a parent at home all the time!

Goldenbear · 20/10/2014 20:28

I don't know why it would elicit sympathy - maybe they thought you felt sorry for your children having to go to the holiday club so they did to.

I'm in my 30's and remember going to holiday clubs at sport centres and one that was focused on music and orchestra, I have to say I didn't like them at all and did just want to be at home doing my own unstructured thing!

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