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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder if you've ever recognised yourself as the subject of an AIBU?

45 replies

girlwhowearsglasses · 20/10/2014 12:10

I have a fear that one day I will recognise myself as the subject half way through one. I think we've all been unreasonable at some point...

Anyone actually had this? did you resolve it in any way?

OP posts:

Spindarella · 20/10/2014 12:17

I recognised someone from work once. The situation, description of people involved, timescales were all perfect matches. She was talking bollocks though and blaming others for something which was her fault. Interesting to see how she perceived it though.

I always think I'll be on the bastard neighbours threads for not nail clipping my lawn or a horrible friends thread as it strikes me if I never have a problem with friends, maybe I'm the bad one in the group that others on here experience and I'm too thick skinned to realise!

manchestermummy · 20/10/2014 12:28

I recognised a colleague's DIL. Unusual work situation which she had told us about. I can't remember the outcome.

CherryDolphin · 20/10/2014 12:31

Funnily enough I have never recognised myself in the subject of a post. I have also never recognised anyone I know either. I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

McBear · 20/10/2014 12:36

Not yet but I do worry...

MrsGeorgeMichael · 20/10/2014 12:37

not yet but i do click on some posts and think mmmmm wonder is that me lol

CatsCantTwerk · 20/10/2014 12:40

Not me but a few years ago there was an AIBU thread about a childminder who the op thought was not giving the children enough attention to the children she was looking after at some sort of toddler group (if I remember correctly). The childminder recognised the details and jumped on the thread defending herself.

Allegrogirl · 20/10/2014 12:43

I recognised a very close friend of mine in several posts. She was going through a hard time doing some post grad studying with two small DCs. Her 'best friend' had been slagging her off on AIBU, with a one sided version of events obviously. My friend wasn't as available to help her 'best friend' as previously due to the huge pressure from her course. It made me realise that you can't believe everything you read on posts as you are only seeing on side of the story.

ClaudetteWyms · 20/10/2014 12:45

I have recognised myself as the subject of a thread, not an AIBU though, it was more of a WWYD. In chat so vanished now thankfully. Stumbled on it when lurking one evening, was a really recognisable situation.

Lots of the OP was bolleaux but no I have never mentioned it to her in RL or resolved it in any way. I just keep out of the Op's way as much as I can now, as I know she really doesn't like me!

ClaudetteWyms · 20/10/2014 12:47

Funny when you hear of things like this happening, the OP often turns out to partly/mainly fabricated crap. Shows how much/little you can believe of what people post!

PixieofCatan · 20/10/2014 12:48

Not me, but my sister posted about my other sister not a huge amount of time ago. Seeing as I hadn't spoken to either sister in about 6 months at the time, I wouldn't have realised it had my Nan not mentioned the situation in conversation the week before!

She neglected to mention a few things but was otherwise reasonable. I don't know if she knows I saw it though.

WerewolfBarMitzvah · 20/10/2014 12:49

Even if I was, I would probably need a 'Werewolf, it's you!' before I realised.
MN and RL are so seperate in my mind that it would never occur to me to wonder if it could be me!
Don't think I could keep quiet though - here or in RL.

AlmaMartyr · 20/10/2014 12:53

I've seen one that could have been me but wasn't. As Allegrogirl says, it makes you remember you're only hearing one side of a story. Quite often when I'm reading threads I can imagine in my head what the other person involved might say about it all. I actually don't think there's a huge number of situations where it's entirely one person's fault (on the AIBU kind of posts I mean, Relationships is a bit different).

I can imagine what a few people might say about me given the chance, it wouldn't be entirely accurate but wouldn't be totally wrong either.

Piccarcas · 20/10/2014 12:55

Not yet but I always check the MIL posts in case my DDIL hates me and I am to dim to realise.

Ilovehamabeads · 20/10/2014 14:01

Yes I saw my DD written about once. She was only 7 or 8 at the time and it was my SIL who posted. I'd always thought my SIL liked my DD but apparently not according to the post. I recognised it because of the family set up and descriptions of conversations etc. I was very hurt on behalf of my young DD but have never said anything in RL and they seem to have an ok relationship now.

socially · 20/10/2014 14:06

I was stalked on here at one time by someone from RL. It was very damaging.

BirdintheWings · 20/10/2014 14:07

Not quite, but last year I was discussing something about schools, and a vague acquaintance said 'Oh, but a friend of a friend said their son had quite a problem when he was in Class Y at School Z, and what they did was...'

That would be our son, then. And given I hadn't mentioned it to many RL people at the time, I think she must have read it on MN .

FishWithABicycle · 20/10/2014 14:09

Never have yet but frequently click on threads to check they aren't about me.

confusedandemployed · 20/10/2014 14:11

Not here and not me, but I have recognised someone I know from another parenting forum. Her post gave highly personal details about her fertility, or rather the lack of it, and it was a bit of a shock to realise what she was going through.

ginslinger · 20/10/2014 14:14

Oh i check the MIL ones too incase I've done something thoroughly insensitive although MN has been a great teacher so I generally watch my step

SmashleyHop · 20/10/2014 14:19

I'm always worried I'm going to find myself in a nightmare neighbor one. We have the most long suffering neighbors in the world. We must sound like a herd of elephants to them- especially since the house we bought had been empty and on the market for over a year. I'm so sorry neighbor- the noise drives me crazy too. Just in case you are reading.

ThatIsJustNotCricket · 20/10/2014 14:34

Yes. It wasn't nice

DeWee · 20/10/2014 14:35

No, but I have sometimes opened a SIL one wondering if it could be about me. Now because I think I am UR but I have a SIL who's "always right" and somewhat entitled, so I can imagine her presenting some issues from her perspective. However I think everyone would tell her she was UR because as she's always right I don't think she would make any attmept to sugar coat or change the facts.

Probably along the lines of "SIL is so UR. I organised a family day (3 families plus PIL) at her house because we don't want the mess at ours. We have to have it starting at 12:00 becasue dd has her sleep from 10-11:30, so needs to eat at 12:15. I've got it all organised having told all the family and when I told her about it, she first said she would have liked to be asked rather than told, and she has a hospital appointment at 1:130 so didn't want people arriving until 1:00. Don't you think she should change the hospital appointment? I mean, I've done all the hard work and organised everyone to come then."

CleanLinesSharpEdges · 20/10/2014 14:47

Ive seen a AIBU where Im pretty sure I know the OP, the situation was so startlingly similar. She was disingenuous in her story though, and had she put the full story shed probably have received an almost unanimous YABU.

SistersOfPercy · 20/10/2014 15:16

My MIL and SIL don't use the internet much, though I'd have no problems telling them both to take a long walk off a short pier either on here or IRL.

Piccarcas · 20/10/2014 16:06

Gunslinger I'm with you on that. I have read with interest the MIL posts and they have taught me (and scared me) so much.

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