to tell my friend what her DP is really like

[xalyssx]

One of my best friends (let's call her Lucy) is dating my ex (let's call him Steve). I still get on very well with Steve, and our relationship was good at the time. The problem is, Lucy hats cheating, and I know that Steve used to cheat.
Steve's ex wife Jane hates Lucy, because Jane left the marriage and moved away, leaving her kids with Steve, and now Lucy is spending a lot of time with them. Jane is always telling Lucy and Steve to split up, but Lucy thinks that, as Jane cheated on Steve, she has no right to dictate her ex husband's life.
The problem is, yes Jane did cheat on Steve, but he cheated first - with me. He was still in an intimate relationship with Jane when he started going out with me, even though he swore blind that they were in separate beds. We went out for almost 2 years before he actually split up with her properly.
So, AIBU to tell Lucy that her DP isn't quite as innocent as he makes out?

I look at all the people my exes are now with and think "what the hell is wrong with them?" but they way someone behaved with you is no proof that he will behave the same way with someone else. Perhaps he wasn't right for you and is for her.

How did you not know he was in a relationship for TWO years? You sound very young but should mind your own business.

Anyone else hear the beginning of that old show "Soap" playing when reading that OP?

There's a novelist competition? That would explain some of the odd posts recently.

And, this may sound mean, but that thing they say about everyone having a novel in them - it's not true. Well, not a good one anyway.

I remember Soap. Very funny.

OP, what plans is Steve making to repay the outstanding £700? He's very shoddy in the financial stakes.
£5,000 is an awful lot to lend someone, especially when you're so young. You have children to support so you need the money to be sorted out. Tackle him about it.

Nothing else is your business, that's all it boils down to.

Alice - you mean "Confused? you won't be..."

Yes, Jezza needs to be called about this.

Thumbwitch Yup. Now I can't get the tune out of my head, dammit!

I'm not sure I follow all this, but if Lucy is one of your best friends, then surely she knows about the relationship you had with Steve, the cheating etc?

Anyhow, unless you have evidence that he is cheating on her, why on earth would you want to get involved?

All these people having affairs, splitting up, revenge sex, etc proves to me I live a very dull life

that thing they say about everyone having a novel in them - it's not true. Well, not a good one anyway