Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

DD's latest tic is making me murderous.[title edited by MNHQ]

90 replies

FuckYouSheRa · 19/10/2014 19:17

It's a revolting little throat noise. Over and over and over again.

I thought the random clicking from a few weeks ago was bad enough, or the rhythmical sniffs or last week's tap tap tap but OH MY FUCKING GOD all I can hear now, even over the hubbub of Sunday dinner, is mm mm, mm mm from the back of her throat.

I've had to leave the table and I'm on the verge of tears. If anyone has ANY idea how I can get through this, please share.

No idea why she tics, by the way, she always has. It is actually torture to not react or scream at her to stfu Sad.

I'm posting to take my mind off it tbh.

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/10/2014 19:29

Or listen to music on headphones.

Idefix · 19/10/2014 19:30

Click on tic disorder leaflet, half way down page.

backbystealth · 19/10/2014 19:31

What the hell was that response to me supposed to mean? You want sympathy? My daughter has suffered tics for four years and I'm pretty sure it's Tourettes as is her specialist. It's torturous for her. Thank God I don't have your attitude. All I feel is gutted for her. Any annoyance I might feel pales into insignificance for a kid who makes compulsive noises and cannot stop themselves. Convenient you suddenly say you have misophonia - didn't mention that at first did you? Shame on you for your OP. Fucking hell.

Original poster
FuckYouSheRa · 19/10/2014 19:31

Thanks all. I'm in the TV room now with it turned up. She is now aware it's upsetting me so of course she's doing it at 90 miles an hour.

I hate this, she can't help it, I can't help it and it's ruined a nice family suppertime.

I might see if wine helps. Me not her.

OP posts:
FuckYouSheRa · 19/10/2014 19:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Methe · 19/10/2014 19:32

I'm not sure why you're making this about you back?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/10/2014 19:32

Backby misophonia is linked to Tourettes. .maybe you should read about it and then you might have more sympathy, since you have experience of neurological conditions.

concernedaboutheboy · 19/10/2014 19:32

Most people are inherently annoyed by sustained repetitive noises which they haven't chosen to hear. This sort of reaction doesn't make someone inherently unpleasant Confused.

Op, no advice for you but that must be hard.

Original poster
FuckYouSheRa · 19/10/2014 19:33

Sorry I can't be a perfect sainted parent of a kid with SN. I find her SN drives me to the brink of madness. If she's not ticking she's having raging tantrums. It's a barrel of fun.

Jesus wept.

OP posts:
Methe · 19/10/2014 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
FuckYouSheRa · 19/10/2014 19:34

Thank you everyone else.

Backby I am really sorry if my post upset you. But I'm not sorry I posted.

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/10/2014 19:36

SheRa will she go to sleep soonish

needyoumorethanwantyou · 19/10/2014 19:37

Back: OP has no need to feel 'shame' about anything. People are allowed to find things difficult even if there is a perfectly legitimate reason for the behaviour they find difficult.

And she only said she had 'misophonia' because someone who suggested she look it up as it may apply to her.

I sympathise with your DDs issues but the OP is not talking about your DD nor said anything cruel or inappropriate about vocal tics other than that she finds it difficult and upsetting.

GahLinDah · 19/10/2014 19:37

SheRa I have no advice but I do understand where you are coming from, my dd is going through a phase of grunting, it's worse when she is playing Minecraft or really focussing on something. She can't help it, but it drives me crackers.
I'm sorry you've been attacked on here, there's no need, everybody needs to vent sometimes, we love our children to death but by god, none of us are saints.

Thurlow · 19/10/2014 19:38

Surely the point of something like MN is so that you can come on and vent when it's not good to do it in RL?

The OP is perfectly entitled to be frustrated and vent. And it probably makes things easier at home if she can come on here and vent, rather than just sitting and getting more and more frustrated.

Sympathies. Take 5 mins where you can to just sit quietly and breathe and get your calm back.

stillenacht1 · 19/10/2014 19:39

Fuckyou i understand as my DS makes loads of noises because of his autism. Other DS can't stand it anymore and practically lives at my parents house (he also can't stand the sound of us eating /breathing you name it ). It's hard xx

Idefix · 19/10/2014 19:40

You are not alone Fuck but you need support to help your daughter, I feel anxious just reading your post. Ignoring these tics seems to be virtually the only thing that worked for us along with doing very hands on musical activities. My DS son developed tics at the age of two and he was 8 before we started to see them easing. Were much worse at school where they had little tolerance of the tic, which they labeled as attention seeking. Learning a to play a musical instrument and horse riding seemed to really ease things for him. He still occasionally tics at 16 but only under extreme stress.

Original poster
FuckYouSheRa · 19/10/2014 19:41

Dinner is over, bedtime is now. Dh is just about to go up and do story time.

Now the rage has passed i just feel really crappy. It's awful to feel so angry about something she can't help, and I course I have to internalise all the anger because I can't let her know it's affecting me so badly, she'd be distraught. This was a helpful thread though despite it all.

OP posts:
Idefix · 19/10/2014 19:42

Sorry just read your other post op, hugs, horrible when you feel driven to breaking point. :(

thornrose · 19/10/2014 19:45

I have no advice but venting here is perfectly fine. My dd has AS and had various tics which stopped on the whole when she was about 12.

The other day she kept clearing her throat and it sounded suspiciously tic like. It made me feel so anxious at the thought of them returning. For her and for me!

pictish · 19/10/2014 19:47

backbystealth suggest you hide the thread. You're coming over as overbearing here, telling the OP off, and making it all about your circumstances. The OP has done nothing wrong and no one is forcing you to join in a thread you don't like. It is ok for people to find things irritating.

OP I can sympathise. My ds2 gets temporary tics as well...they can last days or months depending. At the moment it's rolling his eyes, but he did used to make a grunty throat noise which drove us all a bit bonkers. Come to think of it ds1 did it as well, he throat cleared for about a year. He grew out of it though.
Stay cool.

Follyfoot · 19/10/2014 19:52

I get you OP.

My DD had tics from 4 and was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome not long after. It feels awful saying it, but the tics really got to me too so I completely understand. She still 'mmms'. Sounds silly but could you put some headphones in and listen to some music you love when its bad, or even hum to yourself just to distract yourself from waiting for the next one.

Its not just the sound is it, its the frequent, obvious reminder that there is something 'wrong' with your child.

And is there a professional you could talk to? We were given the support of a MH nurse who was fantastic. She helped me learn how to cope with DD's rages too.

Take care and vent all you need on here Smile

ChampagneAndCrisps · 19/10/2014 19:52

Is it possible you have hyperacusis?
Over sensitive hearing.

I have two with Tourettes - and even though I don't have the full blown syndrome - I believe hyperacusis is one of its many facets.

I sometimes really have to focus on the fact that the children are suffering their tics. And stress does make it worse. My DS is so over sensitive to how I'm feeling - it's very difficult to exhibit any emotion.

I think you need to find a way to hide how you're feeling about this tic. Tiny ear plugs?! If you show less reaction/ irritation she may tic less.

BlackeyedSusan · 19/10/2014 19:54

sounds like you are both suffering. she has ticks and you have that condition with the long name that make you murderous about some noises.

put on music or tv or sit at the computer and mumsnet like I am (don't um ex) doing now.

as you can see I hate it too. it causes pain. weird. probably some sort of sensory processing disorder.

DollyTwat · 19/10/2014 19:59

My son used to have tics op, they drove me nuts as well. I could ignore the blinking eyes and yawning type ones, but the weird noise one I had to talk to him about. It was almost a grunt that sounded really weird so I needed him to really try to stop it

I found that what started as something he'd do just occasionally would then turn into a tic for weeks

We went to a specialist who prescribed anti psychotics. So ds took them for a week, they worked too, but made him feel weird so he stopped them. He decided he'd go to senior school with the tics

They've mostly gone now, just seemed to grow out of them.