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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think that someone convicted once for downloading child abuse...is likely to re-offend? [Title edited by MNHQ]

35 replies

Coastly56 · 19/10/2014 10:54

Someone who has been in prison once for downloading child porn and then caught again and received a caution is likely to offend again?

OP posts:
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 19/10/2014 10:56

I agree. However I do ask that you dont call it "child porn".

It is child abuse. Pure and simple.

However, that aside, yes. There are certain personality traits / sexual desires that are incurable and Pedophilia is one of them.A pedophile is always (imo) going to be one. Whether they act on it or not, that desire will never ever leave them.

DoughnutSelfie · 19/10/2014 11:03

Yes agree OP

Nb Another plea for the disuse of 'child porn' here

Original poster
Coastly56 · 19/10/2014 11:09

Yes I'm sorry if that caused offence.

OP posts:
Iggi999 · 19/10/2014 11:11

It should also be in your thread title - some mumsnetters personally affected by this and may not want to click on threads accidentally

Original poster
Coastly56 · 19/10/2014 11:13

Apologies for that too. I am personally affected too.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 19/10/2014 11:15

I this someone you know OP?

Original poster
Coastly56 · 19/10/2014 11:18

Yes unfortunately

OP posts:
Original poster
Coastly56 · 19/10/2014 11:21

My daughters father.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 19/10/2014 11:21

Do you want to tell us a bit more about it, OP? Have you ever spoken to anyone in rl?

raltheraffe · 19/10/2014 11:22

Whether or not he reoffends depends on a lot of factors, including the level of support he is given at modifying his behaviour, and how closely he is monitored. It also depends on whether he accepts what he is doing is very damaging to children and if he wants to change for the better.

Fairenuff · 19/10/2014 11:22

Sorry x posts with you there. I'm so very sorry that you're going through this at the moment. Have you separated?

raltheraffe · 19/10/2014 11:25

Thinkivebeenhacked

That is wrong, paedophilia is very difficult to treat but it is not incurable.

Original poster
Coastly56 · 19/10/2014 11:25

He's not been able to access any treatment as they only offer it for custodial sentences. Yes I am no longer with her father for obvious reasons. I am so sad that she won't be able to have a normal relationship with her father.

OP posts:
raltheraffe · 19/10/2014 11:27

That is appalling. Surely all child sex offenders should get access to treatment. If it only stops one child being abused it is worthwhile.

raltheraffe · 19/10/2014 11:28

What happens about contact OP? Is he allowed contact in a supervised contact centre or have the courts recommended no contact at all?

Original poster
Coastly56 · 19/10/2014 11:29

Exactly but unfortunately it doesn't happen. They have to have long enough custodial sentences to access treatment programmes.

OP posts:
Original poster
Coastly56 · 19/10/2014 11:30

All contact has to be supervised. Family facilitate this to avoid the contact centre route.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 19/10/2014 11:30

Did he spend time in prison though? Was that not a custodial sentence? Has he told you that he can't access treatment.

Fairenuff · 19/10/2014 11:32

Oh, sorry x post again. There are counselling services available which he could access himself, he would not have to be referred but he might have to pay. Places like Childline and NSPCC would probably be able to point him in the right direction.

Original poster
Coastly56 · 19/10/2014 11:32

Yes but only 3 months and no it wasn't offered

OP posts:
raltheraffe · 19/10/2014 11:37

Does he want to change? Does he feel guilty over his deplorable behaviour or is he lacking insight into what he has done?

Original poster
Coastly56 · 19/10/2014 11:37

Yes he wants to change

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 19/10/2014 11:42

The thing is Coastly, he can't just change. There is something fundamentally wrong in his brain to make him think/feel/behave like that. He can't just make that go away, he will always be a risk, especially if he is not seeking treatment.

Is he trying to get you to allow him access to your dd without the other family members there? What has prompted you to post today?

ChippingInLatteLover · 19/10/2014 11:45

Coastly I am sorry you and your DD are going through this :(

Wanting to change and being able to change are two different things. I might want to change being short, but I can't and I honestly believe this is the same.

I don't believe he can be rehabilitated. It's not like rehabilitating a thief, you can make them see the harm they do, they can understand, they can stop being a thief, it doesn't stop them thinking about thieving, but that's harmless... you can't change the 'thinking' of someone like your daughter's father, he might (but I doubt it, as he has proven!) be able to stop downloading stuff, but he wont ever stop seeing children as something he desires :(

He would have no contact with my children, none.

raltheraffe · 19/10/2014 11:47

Farenuff he will never be totally cured, however if he accesses support he may be able to modify his behaviour so he does not act out on his feelings.

I know quite a lot about IP services as I know a consultant forensic psych who specialises in this area, but I do not know anything about how sex offenders are treated when they are not locked up. There must be some services he can access. Perhaps call the NSPCC and ask them what support he can get.

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