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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Work Colleague WWYD?

107 replies

KBabs · 19/10/2014 01:34

hi there

I have a job where I share an office with one other person. This person is new to me (he's a bloke I am a woman) we have worked together for about a month.

We are from totally different cultures (and native language), but we've had a good chat, I think we work together well.

This week, a female colleague who works on our floor has started coming into our office to talk to this new colleague and I've had to literally ask her to move, when I need to log on the computer. It is very awkward

This sounds really weird, she is apparently showing him how to "do origami". When I arrive for work she sits in my chair at my desk and won't budge!

Normally I turn up at around 9am (I am on flexitime), he starts work around 8am. Recently, I've not been sleeping so well so I've been coming into work betweeb 7.30am and 8.30am so I guess I might be encrounching on her time slot!

I have a very good working relationship with this male colleague. She is becoming increasingly hostile towards me

I have no idea what to do - this woman pitches up in our shared office during the working day, saying she wants to "do origami" with my colleague and pfaffs about with paper-- this is clearly not work and she doesn't seem to care that we've got a busy workload

I've worked in a variety of workplaces in a number of circumstances never have experienced something so bizarre. I come from the private sector and this is in the public sector but it appears to be totally disfunctional

WWYD?

OP posts:

stiffstink · 19/10/2014 01:49

Do you have a shredder nearby? I would deposit the orifucking-gami in it. This type of juvenile flirting/workshy crap pisses me off.

Or do you have a resources type person you can ask about getting some pipecleaners and PVA glue so you can join in the arts & crafts sessions?

Maybe a pasta collage which says Fuck Off in penne? Fusilli is unlikely to work.

ilovesooty · 19/10/2014 01:52

I'd ask her to move so that you can get on with your work. Surely she has work of her own to do and if she's actually preventing you from doing yours it's unacceptable. HHowever it sounds to me that this is partly about the two of you vying for your male colleague's attention.

Original poster

KBabs · 19/10/2014 01:57

hehe thanks for your reply Stiff stink

I had already "stabbed" said origami with a red pen when she left it on my desk as some sort of "offering". This person has clearly not enough to do whereas me & my colleague are working like dogs. (to set the scene we are both agency and she is directly employed- we are particularly vulnerable and she has no appreciation of this fact apparently)

I did say that if she had absolutely no work to do that perhaps she could "big up" her origami as I've got about 50 archive boxes that need assembling (larger version of her origami) and she could help us rather than get in the way of what we are trying to do at work!

OP posts:

BOFster · 19/10/2014 01:59

Just tell her to move on because you've got work to do. How hard can it be?

ZenNudist · 19/10/2014 01:59

I think come right out and suggest they organise origami playtime for outside working hours. You can say it politely.

Be increasingly short on requesting she move from your desk. It's very rude of her not to get up and move as soon as you come in. If you have the stomach for it you could also address that problem. "I don't think I should have to ask you to move every day. I don't care if you sit here when I'm not in but please do vacate my seat when I arrive, thanks".

If that doesn't work id be making some enquiries as to who is her line manager and complain.

steff13 · 19/10/2014 02:01

Ask her to move. If she says she wants to do origami, tell her she can do it with him after work. If she gives you any more trouble, speak to your supervisor.

Does he seem like he wants her there?

Original poster

KBabs · 19/10/2014 02:06

thanks for the replies so far. yes, I've had to make the point of logging onto my own PC (she does not budge) over her shoulders, despite me asking her. It's very bizarre! This is the reason I posted, from previous exprience of shared workspaces most people 'budge'.Me & my colleague work in a dedicated 2 person ensclosed office area! (that she is not in hence my request for advice!).

ooh eck

OP posts:

PillForgettingIdiot · 19/10/2014 02:12

She seems to fancy him and wants some alone time!

Original poster

KBabs · 19/10/2014 02:19

I've raised it with him, he did a bit of an eye roll! (having said that I got the impression this 'twas not a new concept to him so who know what is going on?

PS I am a happily involved person to someone for the last 20 years so this dynamic is relatively new to me!

OP posts:

steff13 · 19/10/2014 02:24

Is he really attractive? I can't help but think of Idris Elba on the American version of the office.

AcrossthePond55 · 19/10/2014 02:31

I agree that she's making a play for him. You are 'the competition' even if you aren't interested. The sitting in your chair is the same as a dog pissing on a tree. She's staking her claim & asserting her position.

Since she isn't listening to you, I suggest you speak to your workmate. Perhaps something along the lines of "Look XXXX, whatever you and 'Origami-mammy' are doing is your business. But please, can you ask her to NOT monopolize my chair once I get here? I've tried asking but she isn't listening to me. Hopefully she'll listen to you. I need to be able to get to work right away since WE have so much to get done every day".

KBabs · 19/10/2014 02:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VerySlightly · 19/10/2014 06:39

I would give it a couple of days or a week, for the situation to stop. If it doesn't, I would have a quiet word with my manager

Either
As you are aware, we are agency and under scrutiny,I am concerned new colleague can not got on with work because of behaviour of other colleague.

Or
She won't stop sitting on my desk and prevents me from my work. Can you please quietly and discreetly address it. I am agency, I don't want to rock the boat, but I have a job to do.

Littlef00t · 19/10/2014 07:59

I don't understand. What do you actually say when you get in and she's in your chair?

Surely, excuse me, I need to sit at my desk and start working, can you move please would make anyone move?!

I'm not sure you're being persistent enough?

Cerisier · 19/10/2014 08:12

I wouldn't be logging on over her shoulder I would be standing glaring at her. if you don't feel you can say anything to her then speak to your manager.

Purplepoodle · 19/10/2014 08:16

Next time she won't budge from yr desk, I would be telling her to move or Your going to get boss/line manager now as she is stopping you from doing your work

Tyranasaurus · 19/10/2014 08:17

Get a 2nd office chair so you can just roll her out into the corridor every morning :)

NoSquirrels · 19/10/2014 08:19

Who's "in charge" in your 2-person team? Do you manage him, or do you both have a line manager?

I think you need to throw the problem back to him, tbh. It sounds as if Origami Woman isn't going to listen to you, so you need to get him to tell her.

"Colleague, please could you have a word with Origami Woman and tell her that lunch break or outside of work is the only appropriate time for practising
paper folding - can you meet her in the canteen? It's getting rather annoying to have her in my chair every time I arrive, and we both need to get on with our work or we'll fall behind. Can you let her know, please, otherwise I'll have to get X (manager) to sort it. Thanks."

Thehedgehogsong · 19/10/2014 08:36

I like T-Rex's idea! Roll her away :) perhaps asking your boss for another office chair as yours is always occupied by her will alert your boss to the problem!

msrisotto · 19/10/2014 08:40

So, do you actually ask her to get out of your chair? Logging in over her sounds bizarre, what does she say?

Jill2015 · 19/10/2014 08:40

Get a 2nd office chair so you can just roll her out into the corridor every morning

Just picturing this!
I'd insist that she has to move. I wouldn't be logging in over her shoulder.
What is he doing during these delightful origami sessions?

Original poster

KBabs · 19/10/2014 08:51

hi there everyone thank you for your inputs so far. It has given me plenty of food for thought and different angles and options to consider to tackle this issue.

For the record I am a pretty assertive person so it is not that I've been afraid to confront the issue more that it seems so bizarre. It is the nature of me (and my co-workers) employment situation that makes it more delicate. We work in an administrative capacity and I do get the distinct impression that our work is considered by her as being 'less' important than what she does, when she actually is doing some work (which appears to seriously very little at the moment).

I am not the line manager of my new co-worker, I'm just training him up to do what I do as there is waaay to much work for just me. This makes it more difficult because (1) I have had to fight for the additional resource and don't want this to be undermined by such trivia and (2) in previous jobs where I've been the line manager/supervisor it is much easier to assert/enforce messages.If such a situation was to arise

Was wondering whether Origami was perhaps her reaction to some stressor in her life. The behaviour is almost obsessional way beyond what I'd expect in a normal office scenario IYSWIM.

Regarding your suggestions I think me addressing it via my colleague may well be the way to go. It is almost starting to feel like some sort of "game" or "powerplay" or dysfunctional drama which I don't want to engage with.

I shall go and investigate who her line manager is and also consider discussing it with my boss if it continues next week. Which I am sure it will!

I'd like to say that prior to this I've been working in that office pretty much alone for the past 5 months and she has only came in the once to say "hi" when looking for a male colleague :). She was fairly courteous to me prior to all this kicking off so it is a rather abrupt change in behaviour from my perspective.

OP posts:

Jill2015 · 19/10/2014 08:56

And what is he doing during the origami sessions?

sonjadog · 19/10/2014 08:57

Tell her to get put of your chair. No hints, no logging on over her shoulder, just tell her straight. If she comes in and disturbs you when you are trying to work, tell her that she is disturbing you and ask her to come back some other time. Stay put of her relationship with your colleague and the others where you work. That's their business.

ilovesooty · 19/10/2014 08:58

Logging on over her shoulders? This gets more and more bizarre. Tell her tomorrow to get out and let you do your work. Report her to your line manager if she doesn't stop this crap.

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