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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Work Colleague WWYD?

107 replies

KBabs · 19/10/2014 01:34

hi there

I have a job where I share an office with one other person. This person is new to me (he's a bloke I am a woman) we have worked together for about a month.

We are from totally different cultures (and native language), but we've had a good chat, I think we work together well.

This week, a female colleague who works on our floor has started coming into our office to talk to this new colleague and I've had to literally ask her to move, when I need to log on the computer. It is very awkward

This sounds really weird, she is apparently showing him how to "do origami". When I arrive for work she sits in my chair at my desk and won't budge!

Normally I turn up at around 9am (I am on flexitime), he starts work around 8am. Recently, I've not been sleeping so well so I've been coming into work betweeb 7.30am and 8.30am so I guess I might be encrounching on her time slot!

I have a very good working relationship with this male colleague. She is becoming increasingly hostile towards me

I have no idea what to do - this woman pitches up in our shared office during the working day, saying she wants to "do origami" with my colleague and pfaffs about with paper-- this is clearly not work and she doesn't seem to care that we've got a busy workload

I've worked in a variety of workplaces in a number of circumstances never have experienced something so bizarre. I come from the private sector and this is in the public sector but it appears to be totally disfunctional

WWYD?

OP posts:

Pensionerpeep · 20/10/2014 08:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grubbybrat · 20/10/2014 08:50

"I think swearwords as we should all know are not permitted in an office and can I think in most count as gross misconduct."

HAHAHAHA! Where on earth do you work?

Jill2015 · 20/10/2014 09:04

Am wondering does he join in, is he feebly attempting to ignore her, or what he is doing, during the origami...

Love some of the suggestions on the thread, especially get out of my chair dill hole

OydNeverDeclinesGin · 20/10/2014 09:21

You should ask your colleague to stay home one day and replace him with an origami version. Complete with a 'what can you do' shrug.

SuperFlyHigh · 20/10/2014 10:39

grubby - I think I should have meant swearwords i.e. swearing at a colleague counts as gross misconduct which OP was advised to do. Generally saying f*ck is fine but saying it to your colleague generally would get most people sacked.

Fluffyears · 20/10/2014 20:51

Seriously me and my workmates have sworn at each other many times and as far as I know I'm still employed??

Flipflops7 · 20/10/2014 21:09

Well? Well? :)

SuperFlyHigh · 20/10/2014 21:49

Fluffyears yeah but it depends if you told a colleague of yours to fck off* and really made a meal of it, I think you'd find that in most staff handbooks (if one takes offence) and also if there's bullying happening too then this can be a gross misconduct offence.

So they can fire or warn you.

I've not had first hand experience but years ago a colleague of mine lost it in the office swearing and shouting. He got fired. Early 90s.

SuperFlyHigh · 20/10/2014 21:49

Also fluff if it's jokey or just the odd F off and you know it is not meant personally and lets off steam then that can be let go by your boss/colleagues.

AbbieHoffmansAfro · 20/10/2014 22:04

How marvellously odd. Can't wait for the update.

YellowTulips · 20/10/2014 22:31

Maybe if she's that good at origami she can make her own bloody chair

Id probably say "if you have this much time on your hands then maybe you ought to consider that the next piece of paper you fold might have P45 written on it.

Either way I don't have time to waste asking you to move every morning so even if you don't have work to do stop preventing me from doing mine."

CointreauVersial · 21/10/2014 18:24

Come on OP.

Come back and share the latest origami madness.

feelingmellow · 21/10/2014 18:44

This is a non problem.
Ask her to move. If she doesn't, get your line manager to ask her to move. Simple. She won't do it again.

tywinlannister · 21/10/2014 21:05

Every day I would sabotage the chair. Some options :

A) Whoopie cushion
B) Wet paint sign on the chair
C) Swivel the chair up so it is ridiculously high/low
D) A laminated A4 print out of your face stuck to the chair, grinning
E) Tell her not to sit in that chair too long, you didn't want to say but... loud whisper you had the shits last week...

SuperFlyHigh · 21/10/2014 21:24

tywin actually those sound good, forward planning mind but they could do the trick. About a week or so of this and Miss Chair Sabotager should get the message!

CaptainSinker · 21/10/2014 21:39

Mind boggling at the idea of getting fired for saying "fuck" at work. Most of the nhs would be sacked!

SuperFlyHigh · 21/10/2014 21:40

Captain I don't think fuck per se it's the context eg if you rage and swear (see my other post) or you lose it and swear it can be classed as gross misconduct.

Just swearing generally is passable.

See your staff handbook if you don't believe me.

CookieLady · 21/10/2014 21:49

Where's OP gone? Come back!

CaptainSinker · 21/10/2014 22:09

I believe you regarding ranting and raging. I would imagine you could get sacked for that even without swearing!

tywinlannister · 21/10/2014 22:17

Wrong! In most of my workplace's, people who rant and rage get promoted.

slimytoad · 21/10/2014 23:10

OT but a colleague of mine was sacked for gross misconduct for aggressively swearing at another colleague.

Jill2015 · 22/10/2014 08:10

Maybe the office is now jammed with origami 'structures', (I'm picturing chairs, filing cabinets, desks), and nobody can get in or out ...

SuperFlyHigh · 22/10/2014 09:38

I think it depends entirely on the office and context, I've worked with 2 men who were PITAs to work with, sweary but got results.

The older man who was always angry and shouted a lot (nearing retirement) I think he left or got made redundant. Anyway (and this is veering OT now) he came back to us 6 months later he was running a model railway (I think where kids/adults could ride it) which was his hobby in his huge back garden was much happier and he apologised for being so nasty, shouty etc. He'd brought chocs too.

Shelby2010 · 22/10/2014 10:20

It looks like Jill2015 is right, either that or the OP has been trapped in a giant origami box. Will we ever find out what happened?!

Original poster

KBabs · 22/10/2014 17:01

hi there not much of an update as yet, I'm afraid!

Origami Woman (OW?!) seems to be out of the office as she has not been in the office since Friday.

In the meanwhile, I decided to speak to my manager about the 'cultural issue' regarding origami PITA interruptions during work hours. He seemed to be aware of this person having 'form' for going around the various departments and offices chatting to people men for prolonged periods of time (but not about the origami variant of her tactics particularly!).

He has, however, confirmed that origami is not part of our job description and was pleased that I had raised the issue as a general concern about said persons 'well-being' (I'm convinced she uses this as some sort of self-soothing/calming (for her not others!).

Apparently she does not have a manager at our site. He said that he will arrange for a few colleagues to 'pop in' and see us with requests should she be seen coming into our office to help reinforce the message that origami is for break times.

I'll let you know when we have a 'proper' update. I didn't want to keep you in any more suspense but she's not showed up so far and I don't want to tempt fate by asking, just in case she decides to come and visit!

OP posts:

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