To be wishing away the toddler years...

[PassTheCremeEggs]

DD is 2.5. The tantrums (which I thought were bad before) have reached astronomical heights. We permanently balance on a very fine line between being totally reasonable, happy and good company, and turning into the stuff of nightmares. Every day is a series of battles, floor diving and more outings of the word "no" (from her) than I think I've heard in my all life.

Parents of older children - do you miss these years? AIBU to be wishing them away? We also have a nearly one year old who is such a delight now but I have such a feeling of dread at the thought of him starting this stage himself.

When she's happy and amenable what a delight she is, but the tantrums far outweigh the happy times. Coupled with a new aversion to going to bed, frequent middle of the night yelling episodes (used to go straight to bed and sleep for 13 hours straight...) and an ongoing hatred of all food that isn't cake I'm finding this pretty trying.

Does it get better...or (nervous whisper) even worse

YANBU. At all.

DS4 is now 4.6 and we are just beginning to see him coming out the other side of toddler tantrum unreasonableness.

It gets better is very much my experience.

My eldest is 11 so I have no teen experience

Strangely enough I was thinking about my kid's toddler years earlier on.

I miss them as toddlers, but I really don't miss the sleepless nights and needing eyes up my arse.

The thing about time is, you can't actually wish it away so I wouldn't worry about that.

Nope I didn't like my kids much until they were around 4. So yes it gets better.

Then they turn into teenagers and that's a special kind of hell

I miss being needed by toddlers.

Jesus, no. Toddlers are crap.

It can get worse (sorry) but the toddler years are so much fun when not in tantrum mode, it's such a tough time. Our DS (3.5 yes) has really been great the last 6 months and is a joy. It will get better plus it'll help you realise how to get your DS through the same period and it won't hopefully seem so stressful

PS I love that my toddler still wants to cuddle but I know that'll end so yes I love the toddler times despite the tantrums

Don't wish them away. Teenagers are great, but there's something really magical about wee ones. They're so special.

I miss my DC's toddler hands and their chubby wee faces. I miss being able to see them jumping in puddles and kicking up the leaves. I miss being able to kiss it all better.

No no no I am wishing ds2.7 years to be a 20 year old man. Your back is turned and he us pulling down something or making a blooming mess. One after the fecking other it is relentless from the moment he wakes up until he goes to sleep, he is like a young puppy. Other than that he us a happy little chappie with a really sunny personality, but by god the mess he makes.

The terrible toddler tantrums are to help you deal with teenagers! When they start to turn into teenagers from hell, you can think 'oh yes, I remember this...'!

My dd aged 5 (now nearly 6) is so great. These years are so much better and easier than the toddler year. I think these are the ones I will really miss most when she is a teenager grown up, although of course there are aspects of the baby/toddler times I miss now.

I also have a baby so will be going through toddler stage again soon - so not being smug!

My children are older and I can barely remember those years.

I fully appreciate that life is easier when children are, say, 5-10 years old, but when I do remember things from toddler years it is always the cute things!

You have my sympathy op. My DS 3.2 is exactly the same and I now wake up in the mornings dreading the day ahead.

No is a word that's regularly shouted at me, he refuses to do anything I ask him, floor dives like a pro and lobs anything within reaching distance! Getting him to eat anything that isn't biscuits, yoghurt or breadsticks is near on impossible too.
It's like a switch was thrown a few weeks ago (coinciding with starting pre-school) and my beautiful boy has turned into a tyrant!
I will also add that like your dd when he's happy he's an absolute delight but those times are few and far between recently.

Pass the gin

Tantrums are natural contraceptive, I swear. Especially the excruciating public ones where ALL of Tesco are watching.

I love mine, the curiosity, the development, the cuddles and kisses, the love, the giggles but and its a very big BUT

The tantrums, the you are not my friend anymore, the you are a terrible mother comments, the screaming, whining, pretend sobbing as pure manipulation. Nope not gonna miss it.

Yes, through rose-tinted glasses I miss those years, and I remember someone saying at the time exactly that "don't wish it away", and it struck a chord at the time so I did my best not to. But still...you look back and it is a 'magical time'. I know it doesn't feel like it, but it is.

Yes I'm afraid it does get worse, but not till they're 15
The only bonus with teenage years is they sleep for England!

YANBU, by 3.5 DD1 was lovely, before that she was totally exhausting because she climbed, fiddled with everything and ran off continually.

By 3.5 she had a bit of common sense (didn't stop any of the above, just made it slightly less scary)

DD2 played with toys, held hands and didn't search the house for pens to scribble on the walls.

Made up for it by being far harder work at primary age.

Both 13&16 are pretty reasonable teens

Once you become a mother, you're destined to wish away the early years and spend the rest of your life wishing them back.

Toddlers are tyrants who rule/destroy your life, you develop Stockholm syndrome and you fall in love but still your freedom eludes you.

I loved the toddler years.
But then I found the baby years tough, really REALLY tough. So I was probably just relieved that that was over!

Different strokes, innit?

YANBU, i have a 2.8 boy and a 3.8 girl... some days are a constant battle, and they love to fight and chase and all things dangerous!
But then my little boy sits on my knee every night sings his alphabet and has just learned to say 'i love you'. My little girl makes me act out a my little pony story and asks me every night if she can 'can come in the big bed in the morning for a cuddle'
So as much as i do wish the days away sometimes, i try and remember that it wont always be like this...

Oh good I'm so glad it's not just me... True though - the cuddles are ace and I know won't last forever. I will chant that to myself each night while downing wine and ignoring the incessant "mummy" "mummy" "mummy" (repeat ad infinitum) coming from upstairs. I saw from our nifty video monitor earlier that she had helpfully taken off her pull-up and was busy destroying it in the cot. Thinking about the consequences of her actions is pretty low on the list of her priorities

Nope, the bit between a snuggly sweetsmelling baby and a reasonable human being you can negotiate with is a pita. Cute when asleep but otherwise hard work.
All you can do is remove unnecessary causes of frustration, try to head over-tiredness off before it happens and never let tantrums get results. Then pray for bedtime and pour a stiff gin.

My little boy died 20 weeks ago, he was 1 year and 25 days old and I'd give anything to see him going through the terrible 2s! Don't wish the time away, all the time you get to spend with your children is precious and you never know just how long you've got with them.

dexter

So sorry to hear that Dexter, that's dreadful.