To be wishing away the toddler years...

[PassTheCremeEggs]

DD is 2.5. The tantrums (which I thought were bad before) have reached astronomical heights. We permanently balance on a very fine line between being totally reasonable, happy and good company, and turning into the stuff of nightmares. Every day is a series of battles, floor diving and more outings of the word "no" (from her) than I think I've heard in my all life.

Parents of older children - do you miss these years? AIBU to be wishing them away? We also have a nearly one year old who is such a delight now but I have such a feeling of dread at the thought of him starting this stage himself.

When she's happy and amenable what a delight she is, but the tantrums far outweigh the happy times. Coupled with a new aversion to going to bed, frequent middle of the night yelling episodes (used to go straight to bed and sleep for 13 hours straight...) and an ongoing hatred of all food that isn't cake I'm finding this pretty trying.

Does it get better...or (nervous whisper) even worse

dexter

My favourite age is where it gets less of an effort to get out of the bloody house, like 4.... 4 is a good age IMO. I am not wishing away dd2's childhood but im looking forward to being at an age wherd can have real conversations and i can listen in to her talking to her toys etc like my eldest.

From what I've observed, the toddler years are like marmite, people either love it or hate it!

I like marmite and obviously love my DS but always knew the very early years would be a struggle for me, even before falling pregnant. It's the noise and mess and tantrums and smells and snot - yuck Even the most angelic cuteness is such hard work and there just is no peace. Not even for a quick wee.

Ironically I look back over the photos of him now and he looks so cute I would love to go back to give him a squeeze and do it all over again, but only probably for half a day, then I'm sure I'd be banging on the door to come back into real time!

My Mum always said her family and friends would celebrate a child's 3rd birthday as being a significant change in their ease of management. I can see why as it definitely was a turning point for us, having acquired speech, being potty trained, and having less frustrations for a start!

A new addition to my days is DD - newly potty trained - barging into the loo when I'm in there, trying to drag me off and shouting "No Mummy! My loo! My loo!" Then floor dive/limb flailing at preposterous notion that I should use "her" loo . Now when DH is at home I lock the door and sit in there on mumsnet for ages. Just for some peace..

I do my best to enjoy every stage, but I have to admit that the terrible twos with the confines of a school run has been very intense! My older dc were able to strop at their leisure as no one was at school then - trying to get an extremely cross and awkward child safely into the car to collect their older siblings on time is stressful! Focus on the cute bits is my advice - go and look at her little shoes, or whatever it is that you find particularly heart melting, and think about that when she is being difficult.

I'm really glad I found this thread. DD is 2 1/4 and has started telling me no, she's not even screaming most of the time when she says it she just says in the sweetest little voice whilst smiling and giggling at me "no", and continuing to do whatever I've told her not to! It's seriously made me worry whether I've done something wrong, whether I will ever again get my authority back. It's nice to know my daughter isn't the only toddler out there who's 'no' happy!

Though saying that, I firmly believe the toddler years are the most amazing you will ever have as a parent, and I'm actually really looking forward to my baby turning into one. Sorry OP, can't agree with you here. As much as it's god awful when DD is screaming the house (or shop!) down - and she's a spirited lass so can really scream when she wants to - it is so amazing to see them begin to discover the world, and that simple, innocent joy they get from such ordinary things.

Dexter So sorry to hear of your loss.

eggs Ah the things my DD tells me I'm not allowed to do. We also get in really big trouble if we ever accidentally sit on 1 of her toys.

She has also tried telling me off in the voice we use for the dog, the audacity!

I think it is perfectly possible to love ones toddlers to the moon and back whilst still despairing at how blardy unreasonable they are: literally "un-reasonable" as in one cannot reason with them.

I agree with the marmite comment: toddlers are either heart-meltingly lovely or absolute monsters from hell with the empathy of a dried biscuit.

dexter, you are so very right and I remind myself of that often. I am so sorry that you are having to live without your little boy

Oh Dexter, I'm so sorry

You are right, we must all count our blessings.

YANBU at all. I've found the past seven years, when I've always had one child under the age of three, unbelievably hard at times. DS2 is now 3.5 and all I feel is utter relief that I will never have to go through the baby/toddler stage ever again! A friend had a baby in the summer (her third), and I felt nothing but pity for her that she's got it all ahead of her.

I love babies and toddlers but I don't miss mine as toddlers one bit. I think I would have missed DD2 as a toddler if she had been an only child because she was so easy. But the other 2 were really hard work.

My DDs are 7, 14 and 18 now and life is pleasant again.

I was looking at old photos the other day and we looked like we were all having so much fun when the DC were young. I never felt that at all

My dd is 2.6 and is very hard. It makes me crave the baby days back though at the time I hated that too! I have come to learn, each age brings a new challenge. They want be so independent yet they are so stupid, yes I said stupid because they constantly do stupid things.