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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect the DWP to send the correct information to the correct people FYI I'm not and never have been dead.

115 replies

onlyjoking9329 · 18/10/2014 17:25

I'm rather cross, so I may well be unreasonable
So today the postie brings a letter from the DWP.
It is addressed to my son, he has ASD so I'm authorised to deal with paperwork etc on his behalf.

Letter says.....
Dear Master joking
We understand you were acting for, or have recently been appointed to act for the late Mrs onlyjoking.
Were are sorry to hear that mrs onlyjoking has died.
Apparently they owe me some backdated money from before I died, and would like to pay it to him.

I'm not very pleased, either DWP have cocked it up, which is not unheard of.
Or someone MIL has informed the DWP that I am in fact dead.
I will be having an interesting phone conversation on Monday.

Does anyone have ideas of what I should say to them, other than swearing.

OP posts:
goingloombandcrazy · 20/10/2014 18:04

They don't record all calks but partner believes contact centre is recorded so you may be lucky. Police really do need to get involved. Its criminal.

captainmummy · 20/10/2014 18:15

Oj -I followed your threads at the time of your dh passing (even remember the choc orange cake ) and I can't believe you are still fighting every inch of the way! And possibly even your dh mother.
Hope it gets sorted soon.

tinylttletrotters · 20/10/2014 18:21

Dear god , you poor thing

Can't really add anything other than to say hope you get it sorted quickly

Have you any other relatives that can help you ?

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 20/10/2014 18:22

Thankyou all for your support with this, I wasn't sure if AIBU.
I have a support worker who helped me to sort out DLA/PIP for myself as well as my three children. It took forever to sort out, she's raging and more than happy to support me in the third complaint I've made to them this year.
I will not hesitate to involve the police and take legal action if it is MIL.
I named my nephrostomy after her as she's also a bag that takes the piss.
I've put up with too much crap from her, she made complaints about the hospice, the oncology social worker and the childrens social worker, all 6"6 of him, he had the role as bouncer at the funeral.
Whilst I've mainly ignored her abuse, I will not let her upset my children, ever.

OP posts:
Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 20/10/2014 18:25

I don't have any extended family to help with this, though my fiancé is very supportive, thank goodness.

OP posts:
LuisSuarezTeeth · 20/10/2014 21:23

Good grief, you've had it all going on! Is your support worker taking this on for you?

LuisSuarezTeeth · 21/10/2014 19:38

Hope you're ok today op x

Ir1na · 21/10/2014 23:35

If your mother in law is behind this she must be a right bitch, pardon my language! If a man did that to his ex he would very rightly be arrested for harassment!! Shock

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 22/10/2014 13:49

So, they have accepted that I'm not dead Phew! They had me wondering.

He said that the member of staff who sent the letter has gone off sick, likely long term, he said there had been previous issues and incidents. The staff member will be given further training on their return. He's not sure why they did it or if they were instructed to do it by a phonecall or letter.
He is going to send me a letter of apology explanation and action
My money will be reinstated, but not as quickly as they able to stop it, no surprise there then!
Depending on the letter I may involve my MP.

OP posts:
Becca19962014 · 22/10/2014 14:18

You should involve your MP anyway regardless of what the letter says, this is totally unacceptable. And yes it always takes longer for it to restart and don't be surprised if you aren't also sent a form to reapply for ESA as well (that's what happened to me after they sorted out my problem).

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 22/10/2014 14:21

Thanks, fingers crossed they don't stop my ESA or tax credits.

OP posts:
EmptyNestAgain · 22/10/2014 14:22

I'd involve your MP anyway, tbh, as they've stopped your benefits, can't wont tell you who started this, typical government department blaming worker who is away and caused you no end of aggravation. The letter addressed to your son is equally odd, given he's the youngest. I'd also copy the letter to the local paper.

EmptyNestAgain · 22/10/2014 14:23

X post with Becca. Sorry. I'm so slow at typing

StripyBanana · 22/10/2014 14:31

I had a tax credit form which informed me payments would stop as I no longer had one of my children!?!?

Took ages to reassure them my children were alive and well...

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 22/10/2014 14:59

As much as it's newsworthy, I have to protect my children as they are vulnerable, as a family we would be easily indentified.

OP posts:
Becca19962014 · 22/10/2014 18:11

Don't worry about contacting the local paper but you do need to tell your MP this has happened.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 22/10/2014 20:47

Well that's a relief, but still awful. Will you manage ok?

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 23/10/2014 01:45

As long as they sort it in a timely manner. I'll be on their arses if not.

OP posts:
giraffescantboogie · 23/10/2014 02:52

OJ totally get why for you this is such an awkward and frustrating letter. Really hope it is sorted soon. Haven't seen you about much - am maybe just missing you or perhaps you haven't beeon on much but it is nice to "see" you. :)

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 23/10/2014 08:19

Giraffe, I hope you didn't stay up till that time just to see me!
I've been around but not been well enough to post as much.
Hope your health is better.

OP posts:
LuisSuarezTeeth · 23/10/2014 18:04

Any progress oj?

Been having some loony dealings with DWP today myself. I'm still absoutely staggered about how your situation came about. I hope you get an explanation, especially if it's to do with your MIL!

Hope you're ok Thanks

PuffinsAreFicticious · 23/10/2014 18:43

So sorry they have done this.

My DS has turned 16 and apparently been cured of ASD! It's a miracle! Maybe along the same lines as your Lazarus impression? Bloody DWP. I can't fight with them again, wishing you the strength you need.

Becca19962014 · 23/10/2014 18:44

They aren't likely to tell the OP who did it though so there will always be a question mark and if it is was MIL she will know she can do it again without problem Angry

Someone on another site I visit went through a fraud investigation a few months ago (they were reported for working) and the DWP said they are not allowed to say who it was. When they reinstated her benefit the first thing they did was send another ESA50 form to reapply for ESA (it wasnt due but the circumstances triggered the form). She was horrified that she wasn't told who but after posting it turned out many people there had been subject to similar things over the past couple of years and the DWP never say who it was.

Bogeyface · 23/10/2014 18:52

Wouldnt the DWP have to tell the police if there was an investigation?

Given that there is history of harassment and abuse from the MIL I dont think the OP would be unreasonable to contact them with her suspicions.

Becca19962014 · 23/10/2014 19:18

People are (these days) encouraged to report things like fraud to DWP and told they do not need to provide a name or any other details about themselves if they phone the freephone number to protect them from any reprisals (coincidentally I saw a poster about this on my bus today). If the report was from that helpline, with OP details there will be no way of finding out.

I do not agree with this at all. I think there should be some sort of retribution if you are responsible for depriving someone vulnerable of benefits needlessly, however, the government don't agree Angry

Ive no idea if they inform the police but certainly reporting fraud or anything suspicious about a claim doesn't require a name or contact information. I assume if it was MIL that was the only way she could have done it as she wouldn't necessarily have the answers to all of the security questions (not needed on the report line) available and would know things like OPs address.