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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect the DWP to send the correct information to the correct people FYI I'm not and never have been dead.

115 replies

onlyjoking9329 · 18/10/2014 17:25

I'm rather cross, so I may well be unreasonable
So today the postie brings a letter from the DWP.
It is addressed to my son, he has ASD so I'm authorised to deal with paperwork etc on his behalf.

Letter says.....
Dear Master joking
We understand you were acting for, or have recently been appointed to act for the late Mrs onlyjoking.
Were are sorry to hear that mrs onlyjoking has died.
Apparently they owe me some backdated money from before I died, and would like to pay it to him.

I'm not very pleased, either DWP have cocked it up, which is not unheard of.
Or someone MIL has informed the DWP that I am in fact dead.
I will be having an interesting phone conversation on Monday.

Does anyone have ideas of what I should say to them, other than swearing.

OP posts:

FoxgloveFairy · 18/10/2014 19:07

Who was it that said that rumors of his death had been greatly exaggerated? Shouldn't they need to see a certified copy of a death certificate for this kind of stuff? Never been dead, even once for a short time, so not sure, but here in Oz I think you do. Anyway, glad you're feeling better op!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 18/10/2014 19:08

twas Mark Twain.

goingloombandcrazy · 18/10/2014 19:13

Partner who is still DWP says shouldn't be too difficult to sort this :-)

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 18/10/2014 20:27

Sorry it took me a while to get back to you all, all that dying stuff has worn me out.
I'll try and answer some questions.
Yes I am the named appointee for my three who have ASD, DWP came out to check if they were able to manage their own money.they can't.
I'm not sure if they are treating DS as my next of kin, even though he is my youngest at 17.
We have had problems before, when DH died and I phoned to inform tax credits, who refused to do anything until they had spoken to DH.
MIL has previous, trying to steal the ashes,reporting me to social services for abusing the kids, the last time we saw her was when she stood up shouting at me at DHs funeral, I've recently been sent two funeral packs to enable me to sort out and choose my own funeral, I think MIL may have been behind that but no proof.
The phone number is correct and I'm sure the letter isn't a fake.
I don't want to do anything that puts the children in the public eye as they are vunerable.

OP posts:

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 18/10/2014 20:53

Its possible that your MonsterIL is responsible, she sounds unhinged.

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 18/10/2014 22:49

It could well be monster in law, DWP have a section you can go through to for notifying a death.

I need to write a bullet form type list, but where to start?

OP posts:

Becca19962014 · 18/10/2014 23:27

When I had odd letters from DWP it was because someone had stolen my identity. I had no idea. I went to the Jobcentre and was told it was a 'glitch' and to ignore it.

I did ignore it. The result was a couple of years later masses of paperwork turning up and 18 months of hell trying to sort out tens of thousands of pounds of fraudently claimed benefits and tax credits (amongst other things). Please contact them to sort it out on Monday. And don't accept 'it's a glitch' as a reason like I did because I ignored the sensible advice I was given on a forum to push to find out what caused the error in the first place-

Becca19962014 · 18/10/2014 23:29

Obviously it might be monster in law (given what you have said here) but also it may be something else entirely.

LeonardWentToTheOffice · 19/10/2014 00:13

Also ex dwp here and it does happen I'm afraid - I'm sorry to say, I once did it and letters went out to family. Too much work on desk, wrong details unfortunately entered for wrong customer. It was soon put right but family members not best pleased. It is however, odd that letter was addressed to your youngest. Best get that checked out.

HowsTheSerenity · 19/10/2014 00:41

Is there anything that your death would cause that your MIL would hate?
That came out wrong but I'm sure you get my drift .

Viviennemary · 19/10/2014 00:54

I don't think they'd just send out that letter. They would need a death certificate. I agree with not phoning the number on the letter but getting a number from a previous letter from them.

Greenrug85 · 19/10/2014 08:25

Yanbu, its very annoying.

The hospital a relative of mine died at sent him a letter last week inviting him to a family fun day

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 19/10/2014 11:11

Sounds dreadful Becca, I will be phoning on Monday to try and sort it.
It's the PIP that I get that they are saying is owing, they pay it monthly and paid it in September, when I was not yet dead.
The letter came with a form 11 pages asking questions about the date I died and where I died, who paid for the funeral etc.
I do understand human error, but, what I'm most upset about is that they sent the letter to my son, he loves to get mail and would have opened it had he got there before me.
I was very ill in a coma in January February, all of my organs shut down, the only reason I didn't die was due to the swift actions of the medical team the tracheostomy and life support.
Which is probably why this has upset me more than the next person.
I got a letter from RAC last week telling DH if he'd like to go back with them he would get three months free, that didn't upset me and made me smile imagining what DH would have to say about it.
I'm sorry that people have to deal with this sort of thing at a time when things are already so very difficult.

OP posts:

Becca19962014 · 19/10/2014 12:26

I guess the reason they sent it to him is because he is the person the claim is for and whoever had taken over your role would receive his post?

I'm sorry you were so very ill at the start of the year, I candefinitely see why it would upset you so much.

YDNBU with your question but unfortunately sometimes they do send it to the claimant, Ive someone who obtains my post about benefits (long story) but they do sometimes ignore it and post things out to me.

Bogeyface · 19/10/2014 12:34

Dont DWP record phone calls to check back later in case of dispute? Might be worth asking for it to be investigated as you may need to involve the police. If she is doing things like this then she needs speaking to by someone in authority, and perhaps even a non molestation order.

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 19/10/2014 12:55

What puzzles me is that my twin DDs are the eldest at 20, I'm their appointee too, so I would have thought they'd get the letter rather than DS.
I never thought about them recording phonecall, that will be useful information.
Do I ring them up give them the reference number and wait until they ask who I am?
Due to my disabilities I get PIP, ESA at support level and tax credits, the children all get PIP and oldest get ESA. I'm worried they may stop the lot, since I'm dead.
I'm hoping their error can be sorted and that it doesn't mean they stop all benefits whilst they investigate.

OP posts:

BankWadger · 19/10/2014 13:06

This week the DWP have informed us I failed to move house with my family months ago and still live at our old address, and that DH has been in receipt of a benefit he hasn't received for years (and is in fact trying to apply for, hence the contact with the DWP). There were a few other mistakes on the form, but those were the worst.

Still at least we aren't dead yet.

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 19/10/2014 13:49

Bankwager im sorry you have to deal with that mess.
I'm sure they get it right more often than wrong. We only hear about the wrongs.
But the result is more stress and something else to sort out for you.

I could do the sitting on the sofa with the sad face whilst holding the letter, would be great fodder for the DM!

OP posts:

BreakOutTheKaraoke · 19/10/2014 14:28

Well, I hate to be the one to suggest this, but is there any way that your son could be behind this? Hopefully not! It just seems a bit strange that it's bypassed everyone else who would technically be first in line.

Fingers crossed it's just a glitch.

pointyfangs · 19/10/2014 16:46

Wow. This makes my little problem of being booted off the electoral register because the DWP has incorrect DOB records for me (they have me as 3 years older) feel quite trivial. Despite the fact that I'm having a devil of a time proving my identity because all the ID they are demanding is in my maiden name, not my married name, and apparently including a marriage certificate isn't enough...

It's amazing anyone ever gets anything right. I hope it gets sorted, OP, and I would also suspect the MIL.

Ir1na · 19/10/2014 17:02

DWP are always messing things up!! Although usually it's someone has died or at least changed circumstances and DWP didn't check before ringing them for appointments etc. Seems a bit odd that it would happen the other way round by mistake!!

nohysteriahere · 19/10/2014 17:03

Op, I am so sorry to hear this. I dont have anything helpful to add Im afraid but I do hope you manage to get it sorted with as little stress as possible.

It might be worth you reporting your post @ 11:11 as you have put your sons name in.

Best wishes

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 19/10/2014 18:06

It's definitely not my son, he has autism and wouldn't be able to even make a phonecall or send a letter, neither would my DDs.
Hopefully it can easily be sorted.

OP posts:

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 20/10/2014 11:09

I've spoken to DWP, they confirmed they sent the letter.
They have no idea or information as to why this has happened.
I have told them I will be making a complaint and contacting my MP.
I asked to speak to a manager, apparently it has to go to the resolution team.
They will ring me within five working days.
Meanwhile my benefits are suspended.
Bastards.

OP posts:

OwlCapone · 20/10/2014 11:10

FFS, suspending your benefits ifs bloody stupid and indefensible. Surely they would have needed to see a death certificate??

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