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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want DD's brown owl to just get married and stop going on about her wedding

33 replies

listsandbudgets · 17/10/2014 22:11

DDs brown owl has turned into a full on bridezilla!!

DD says she's asking the brownies to help her make a paper flower bouquet as part of their craft badge, has invited them all to her dress rehearsal in a couple of weeks which takes place in church nnext door during brownies , has had them making bunting and place cards for her wedding and according to dd never stops talking about it.

Its got to the stage were dd does not want to go to Brownies because she's sick of her bridezilla Brown Owl. Its a shame because she used to love Brownies. I've pointed out to her that the wedding will happen in 2 weeks then all will (hopefully) return to normal. Brown Owl is normally brilliant but it sounds like the first half of this term has been wedding hell for her Brownie pack!!!

OP posts:
Orangedaisy · 17/10/2014 22:20

I'm sure it'll go back to normal after the wedding and 2 weeks isn't too long to wait. I expect brown owl is frantically busy with her wedding plans and fitting brownies in might be a struggle. So by including the brownies in it kills two birds with one stone perhaps? I.e. She can keep up her volunteer responsibilties as well as get her wedding stuff straight. Hopefully it's a one off for her so will be quickly forgotten by those brownies who aren't into weddings!

Orangedaisy · 17/10/2014 22:21

Sorry for typo

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 17/10/2014 22:22

Brown Owl is a volunteer isn't she? She isn't paid to run Brownies.
Therefore, I can't really blame her for incorporating the making of items for her wedding in to the girls getting their craft badges, it makes sense that the Brownies make something useful and beautiful for their badges. Why not combine the two?
Same goes for bunting, the Brownies are learning a skill which I was taught at Brownies (though ours was used for a church fete).

However, I can see why you are annoyed if it is starting to upset your daughter.
Why has she timed the rehearsal for Brownie hours? Is she expecting the Brownies to be a full part of her wedding?
Is she trying to include the girls, and its just got a bit out of hand?

I think I would give the Brownie leader the benefit of the doubt for now TBH. You say she is normally brilliant, and the girls have been working towards a badge by doing these crafts - so maybe receiving her craft badge will appease your DD somewhat?
Remember she is a volunteer, and things will calm down once her wedding is over, she is just caught up in the excitement of her big day. Just bare with her, its not that long to go now.

If things don't improve after that, then have a chat with the Brown Owl.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 17/10/2014 22:31

A brownowlzilla- that's a new one!! Grin

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 17/10/2014 22:33

Though, I may be biased, as when I was a Brownie (many moons ago as DD likes to remind me - I even wore the bobble hat!) I got my craft badge making a good luck charm for my Tawny Owls Wedding. We made them with Brown Owl on the Tuesday before the wedding, and we were all waiting out side the church after the wedding to give them to Tawny Owl and her new husband. It made the local paper.
I have fond memories of that event, we did it all in secret, Tawny Owl had no idea what we were planning, but she was thrilled.
Hence why I may be biased.

Idontseeanysontarans · 17/10/2014 22:33

Does anyone remember a series of books about a Brownie pack? Must have been from the 1980's. Brown Owl gets married in one of them and her pack make all of the decorations and I think the cake Smile
Maybe she read the books too..

MsVestibule · 17/10/2014 22:40

I think involving the brownies in making the bunting and her bouquet is a lovely idea. I was a Brownie and a Girl Guide, my DD is now a brownie and can imagine that being a Brown Owl takes up a huge amount of their time to benefit our children. It has an end date, so just explain to your DD that normal service will be resumed shortly!

ladymeredith · 17/10/2014 22:46

Please do remember her Brown Owl is a volunteer. My DD is a Beaver Scout leader and I know how hard it can be to struggle certain commitments. It's not just an hour a week as there's lots of planning involved for each meeting. Maybe her Brown Owl is struggling to juggle things at the moment?

Rather than moaning, why don't you offer to help out and run an evening that's not wedding related? She'd probably very much appreciate the help!

Hulababy · 17/10/2014 22:48

Ah I think it's sweet.

A teacher at my school got married recently and the children in her class got really into it. They made all the table markers and other stuff and lots of their work was part of the wedding decorations. They've all loved seeing the photos of their work as part of the wedding afterwards too.

I dont know if any of the parents weren't impressed individually but certainly not vocally. They all seemed very pleased for the teacher both before and after, as did the children.

Why not include the children?

However if your dr is really fed up with it then it'll all be over in two weeks and her unpaid volunteer will be back to business as usually running brownies.

Maryz · 17/10/2014 22:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Topaz25 · 17/10/2014 22:58

She's probably trying to include the girls because they are such an important part of her life but has overestimated their interest. It's a shame it's putting your daughter off Brownies but I wouldn't mention it because things should go back to normal soon.

JerseySpud · 17/10/2014 23:01

As a Beaver Scout Leader i can say it takes up alot of our time doing it and i can't imagine planning a wedding as well as running meetings, planning, camps, trips etc. Things will most likely get back to normal after the wedding.

wheresthelight · 17/10/2014 23:04

as a brown owl I am cringing cos this is definitely ott!!

my girls asked if they could be part of my wedding to exh which I was delighted to incorporate and they all turned up in uniform and did a Guard of Honor with the unit flag. exh and I walked out of the building through a corridor of brownies and it was the only time I cried all day

PetulaGordino · 17/10/2014 23:06

I actually think that is a blimmin genius way of getting lots of decorations made! Though a bit much especially if the brownies have had enough

My friend who is a primary school teacher was given bunting decorated with fabric pens by her class (in secret I think) and that was adorable

handsoffmecrownjules · 17/10/2014 23:18

Yeah stick with the Citalopram flipchart as they can take a while to kick in and, for me at least, I got worse before i got better. But they really do help to get you through the 'fog' and able to see what you really need to do to feel better. And, as others have suggested, talking therapies/couselling will then help move forward. Good luck!

Maryz · 17/10/2014 23:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

handsoffmecrownjules · 17/10/2014 23:23

Yeah so sorry...clicked back one board too far - please ignore or can I get this deleted?

Maryz · 17/10/2014 23:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadybirdsEverywhere · 18/10/2014 07:47

My husband said a load of brownies turned up to his wedding to his ex-wife; he was horrified. The pictures are hilarious.

ithoughtofitfirst · 18/10/2014 07:51

IME owls are well smug. Definitely a case of brownowlzilla.

backbystealth · 18/10/2014 07:59

I feel your daughter's pain. Despite the utter bullshit that 'all little girls dream of being a bride', I was never interested in weddings and still am not.

It's a bit 'me, me, me' too BUT as a PP said, brown owls are volunteers and she's probably up to her ears in wedding prep as well as trying to fit in the brownies, so give her some slack - at least she's not cancelled brownies for the weeks leading up to it.

It'll all be over soon then she'll have them all making photo montages of th wedding for the next six months...then there'll be her first pregnancy.

waithorse · 18/10/2014 11:45

I think it's a lovely idea, and even if your dd doesn't like it, it's only two more weeks. I would have loved doing something like this when I was a brownie and my daughter brownies would also love this. Poor woman is a volunteer and is probably a bit stressed trying to run brownies and get ready for a wedding.

DaisyFlowerChain · 18/10/2014 14:09

And just when you think it's all over she will be pregnant with her first child and it starts all over again. Having had this with a colleague recently, it's amazing how many women seem to think they are the first to get married or pregnant.

A little excitement is fine but bar immediate partner and maybe parents nobody else needs to hear about it 24/7.

Maryz · 18/10/2014 14:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floggingmolly · 18/10/2014 14:39

Dd did some cleaning at the care home her pack's Brown Owl worked in, for her Home Skills badge. Not sure how much use they actually were (probably more of a hindrance than a help); but why not? I'd no problem with it at all.

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