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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think £100 pp for a wedding is ridiculous

112 replies

Kab13 · 17/10/2014 07:57

Found a great venue for our wedding, you can stay all weekend with 34 of your guests in these beautiful houses for a reasonable price.
Got a quote for the lot yesterday and it amounts to £100 pp for breakfast dinner, canapés and a couple of drinks per guest.
Someone please tell me that it's just way too much? Because I love the venue but I can not bring myself to pay £14 for "six bites" of canapés pp and £50 PLUS VAT for ICE?!
Really annoyed that such a lovely venue has ruined itself for us by insisting you use this ridiculous caterer.
And yes, that is the "cheapest" package they offer!
Angry
We have 80 people for the wedding breakfast...we could do much more sensible things with that kind of money.

OP posts:
Nelehwelly · 17/10/2014 08:04

It is a lot - a lot more than I'd be prepared to pay, to be honest - but if you can all stay all weekend then surely two night accommodation are also included in the price, rather than just a few nibbles, etcetera, unless I've misunderstood?

weeredcar · 17/10/2014 08:05

Is this £100 in addition to the fee for the house for the weekend?

There are few places up here (NE Scotland) that insist on you using the same caterer as they do too.

Nelehwelly · 17/10/2014 08:05

Or is it accommodation costs plus £100 on top?

Leela5 · 17/10/2014 08:07

Including accommodation? Good if so. If not then that's very dear. If it includes accommodation could you ask folk to contribute to their accommodation fee?

Catsmamma · 17/10/2014 08:08

£100 for a night in a hotel, DBB, canapes and drinks? I don't think that is unreasonable

i don't get the £14/£50 for canapes and ice if they are already mentioned in your first paragraph

BikeRunSki · 17/10/2014 08:08

It sounds a lot, but I suspect them's the breaks with beautiful wedding venues. Fifteen years later I can't remember (nor do I care) what canapés, candles, flowers, food etc we had. I remember the people - DH's grandma who was proudly wearing the hat she'd worn to my Pil's wedding; my friend who'd passed her driving to drive up in her Beetle and died a few years later; bil's brand new gf - now my DC's favorite aunt - dancing with my 2 yo nephew; my dad's best friend (dad died before I got married) proudly taking my db's for a pint over the road and telling everyone what a great bloke dad was.

The decor and food doesn't matter. Food needs to be ok, and plentiful. We had v few flowers because of DH/bil/FiL hayfever, and no ballons or streamers because of autistic nephew. And no favours because we didn't know we should have!

firesidechat · 17/10/2014 08:10

If that is £100 just for the catering then that does sound a lot, but not extortionate for that sort of venue. I see you get breakfast which is nice. Exclusive deals in lovely houses do tend to come with expensive catering in my experience.

firesidechat · 17/10/2014 08:13

It's the total cost that matters. If the venue is as lovely as you say and is reasonably priced then you may still be getting a good deal overall. Doesn't it depend on your budget.

Original poster
Kab13 · 17/10/2014 08:16

It's £100 pp for Canapés, 3 course wedding breakfast, 2 glasses of wine and a glass of bubbly for toasting.
They charge for linen, cutlery, crockery & service etc within that but still!?
They 3 cottages for the weekend sleep 34 people and they are the best bit really. The venue is basically a rather beautiful marquee and a barn if you wish & that's extra.
They are an "exclusive use" venue so only have 1 wedding per weekend but they charge for things I've never even thought of, like ice & a £12.50 per bottle corkage few of we don't use their alcohol...dread to think how much their alcohol costs :|

OP posts:
firesidechat · 17/10/2014 08:16

Most venues will insist on using caterers that they are familiar with and have vetted. Not many places apart from village hall type venues will let you use just anyone.

Original poster
Kab13 · 17/10/2014 08:18

We have a fault large "budget" but that's not to say I want to spend it all on a wedding day/weekend. After moving house and buying new cars etc we have about 30k left over but there's no way in hell I want to spend that much at all.
Guess it's deciding what's important to us as a family.
I wish I could post the spreadsheet the venue sent me but I'm useless with all that.

OP posts:
firesidechat · 17/10/2014 08:19

Ok yes that is pricey, but that's what they charge and now you have to decide whether it's worth it for the lovely building.

Original poster
Kab13 · 17/10/2014 08:20

Fault? Quite*

OP posts:
Laundryangel · 17/10/2014 08:20

I think that that is fairly typical & one of the reasons we won't be going for a big white wedding in a dreamy location. I also don't think corkage sounds that high.

firesidechat · 17/10/2014 08:21

How expensive is the venue?

We paid for a lot of my daughter's wedding 2 years ago, so I have a vague idea of prices.

Original poster
Kab13 · 17/10/2014 08:23

Think the spreadsheet should attach. It's actually a bit embarrassing how much it all costs.
Only way to justify it is that it's a 3 day break for 34 peoples and a meal for 100 people etc rather than just one day...Blush

To think £100 pp for a wedding is ridiculous
OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 17/10/2014 08:24

I guess you either agree to their price or get married somewhere else. Honestly it will seem like the be all and end all now, but on the day as long as it looks pretty, is serviceable and you have just got married, you won't really care too much. You will always resent it if you view it as over priced though.

PurpleWithRed · 17/10/2014 08:26

In Surrey this year we paid £1 per canapé and £37.50/head for a very good three course meal, corkage £10 per bottle. £100 does sound expensive. Weddings are full of unexpected costs though.

Original poster
Kab13 · 17/10/2014 08:26

Okay, only people with pretty amazing eyesight will be able to read that! For 3 days in the cottages with 34 guests , the ceremony, reception drinks and canapés, wedding meal (3 course) for 80 guests, linen, cutlery, tables, chairs, service, drinks with the meal etc it's. Just short of 20k.
I think the fact I'm feeling guilty writing this says a lot!

OP posts:
NeedaDiscoNap · 17/10/2014 08:28

That sounds expensive to me. When DH and I were planning our wedding (3 years ago) we wanted an exclusive use venue like the one you like OP, but they were all extremely expensive. I think when you have to pay for everything to be brought in - tables, chairs, crockery, cutlery, ice...etc etc, then you pay a lot for it.

We ended up going for a 'ready made' venue where all of that was included but we could still decorate it to make it quirky/our own style. It worked out much cheaper than the exclusive use venues, and meant we could spend more on really lovely food, which was important to us.

DonnaLyman · 17/10/2014 08:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CurlsLDN · 17/10/2014 08:29

I think that's (unfortunately) fairly typical.
I got married last year, and had a 15k budget, which we worked hard for. We could have afforded that kind of venue, but like you didn't want to spend our hard earned money on over inflated costs for ice, corkage etc. We'd rather put it toward more things we loved for the wedding.
We decided to book a 'dry hire' venue. We looked at lots of beautiful barns but eventually chose a lovely house where 70 guests could stay. We had full use of the house and fields for four days for around 5k. We then found some amazing local food producers, caterers etc and also bought cases of local cider and wine. We got so much more for our money!
Happy to share further details on pm if you'd like them. Good luck!

peasandlove · 17/10/2014 08:33

wow. Call me tight but I'd never spend 20k on a wedding. I'd rather have a small wedding and amazing honeymoon/holiday for that.

Original poster
Kab13 · 17/10/2014 08:33

curls that's amazing! we just wanted a weekend and somewhere our families could stay with us etc! We live in Dorset though and everything seems to be very pricey down here unless you get married at a hotel/ reg office which is lovely for people who don't have 80 guests demanding to attend the ceremony. :L
Would love to hear more about the venue you found!

OP posts:
firesidechat · 17/10/2014 08:35

My daughter and sil turned their back on a venue like this. It was lovely, but the catering was expensive and there was no way that you could get away the expectation would have been that everything would be high end.

In the end they had a beautiful, unique venue, catered canapes, three course meal (honestly the best food I have ever had at a wedding), an endless stream of Pimms, wine and sparkling stuff and a free bar for less than £8,000. There were about 75 guests.

I would look around and see what else is out there.