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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask my parents if they were having sex, and if so request that they don't?

188 replies

Cubee · 16/10/2014 13:16

:D

I am in the bizarre situation of being temporarily trapped at my parent's house. I have a badly broken leg and am bed bound and drugged to the max.

They are doing a stellar job taking care of me and my young children (I'm a single parent, kids under 5). So awkward as this arrangement initially felt, it is working out nicely. I think they have been ace, and really appreciate them.

However...

Part of the arrangement is that my 1 yr old is sharing their room rather than mine. Like I say, they are ace. I get to sleep alone for the first time ever. Though clearly it is not that fun,what with the pain and all.

Last night I awoke to what appeared to be the sound of my parents. .. ahem... doing the deed. Quietly mind. Think squeaking mattress rather than whoops of ecstasy. I briefly thought "Ffs, go to sleep! " and then suddenly remembered the baby was in there too.

So I rang my little bell.

No change. Squeaking continued. Possible moans.

So I picked up the box of tissues by my bed and hurled them across the hallway. I was hoping to hit their door. I missed. Instead the cats sprung to action and began that horrendous sprinting about the house like a herd of elephants lark cats only seem to do at night. And frankly that is terrifying when you are stuck in bed with a broken leg jutting out invitingly like a cat sized springboard. So I lay still in the hope that cats wouldn't notice me. Luckily the tissues seemed to keep them occupied.

Anyway I must have fallen asleep then. Now, I don't know for sure what they were up. I am on some pretty heavy meds for a start. ;)

AIBU to ask my parents if they were shagging with my baby in the room? WIBU to request that they don't?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
roundandround51 · 16/10/2014 16:45

JellyBelly701 couldn't you just be quiet?

BlueberryWafer · 16/10/2014 16:47

We frequently had sex with ds asleep in the cot next to us. Just had to make sure I was super quiet so not to wake him Wink

SirChenjin · 16/10/2014 16:47

Silent sex? How does that work then? Wink

squoosh · 16/10/2014 16:47

Sorry OP maybe the term 'how's your father' was misplaced. You know exactly how your father is. Satisfied.

ByTheWishingWell · 16/10/2014 16:49

You know exactly how your father is. Satisfied.

Shock Grin

neverletgojack · 16/10/2014 16:49

SQUOOSH
Grin Grin Grin

TheHouseatWhoCorner · 16/10/2014 16:50

I'd love a bell!

OP I'm imagining you sitting propped up in bed, wearing a nice comfy nightie and a matching bed jacket. Your long hair is in a practical plait. And your bell's donger is practically worn out.

jellybelly701 · 16/10/2014 16:50

squoosh

Grin Grin

SirChenjin · 16/10/2014 16:50

Why does it not surprise me to see Squoosh was responsible for that bit of filth? Grin

jellybelly701 · 16/10/2014 16:52

jellybelly701 couldn't you just be quiet?

Nah, if you're going to do it, you may as well go full hog.

BlueberryWafer · 16/10/2014 16:53

SorChenjin silent sex - near enough bloody impossible! Lots of heathy breathing and lip biting Blush

BlueberryWafer · 16/10/2014 16:53

Heathy? Heavy!!!

squoosh · 16/10/2014 16:53

Apologies.

It's not my fault, my parents probably shagged loads when I was in a cot beside their bed. Sadly no one thought to ring a bell to stop them.

Lweji · 16/10/2014 16:54

At least your parents mother are not talking to you about their sex problems.

BlueberryWafer · 16/10/2014 16:54

Oh fgs and I spelt your name wrong. Sorry - on phone!

SirChenjin · 16/10/2014 16:55

Sex is never completely silent, let's face it!

SirChenjin · 16/10/2014 16:55

Squoosh - you are not sorry at all. You are utterly shameless.

squoosh · 16/10/2014 17:00

SirChenjin you can hardly take the moral high ground, the record clearly state that you once painted a particularly vivid picture of Alex and Moira Salmond in the sweatiest thrusts of their marital love.

Disgraceful.

neverletgojack · 16/10/2014 17:00

if you are too silent during sex you hear the 'squishy' noises
Grin Grin Grin

turn the volume up I say Wink

squoosh · 16/10/2014 17:02

The only noise one should hear during sex is the sound of the woman reciting a decade of the rosary.

SirChenjin · 16/10/2014 17:04

I concede your point Grin

I had a very vivid dream about Alex the other night Hmm. We were food shopping, and I could hardly bring myself to look at the loathsome toad. Even as I was dreaming I felt revolted by him

jellybelly701 · 16/10/2014 17:05

neverletgojack

Like when you repeatedly pull the outside of your cheek away from your mouth?

Grin
squoosh · 16/10/2014 17:06

Yuck, that's awful. Have an ice pop to calm your nerves.

To ask my parents if they were having sex, and if so request that they don't?
SirChenjin · 16/10/2014 17:06

I find snoring during sex more appropriate than the rosary. Best not to give DH any hope of my staying awake.

neverletgojack · 16/10/2014 17:07

Oh squoosh Grin
that reminded me of a book I was given by my hilarious pain in the arse mil when I got married...
Advice for wives 1890something.
How to get you DH to stop coming to you for sex, after you consummate the marriage Shock Grin