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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask my parents if they were having sex, and if so request that they don't?

188 replies

Cubee · 16/10/2014 13:16

:D

I am in the bizarre situation of being temporarily trapped at my parent's house. I have a badly broken leg and am bed bound and drugged to the max.

They are doing a stellar job taking care of me and my young children (I'm a single parent, kids under 5). So awkward as this arrangement initially felt, it is working out nicely. I think they have been ace, and really appreciate them.

However...

Part of the arrangement is that my 1 yr old is sharing their room rather than mine. Like I say, they are ace. I get to sleep alone for the first time ever. Though clearly it is not that fun,what with the pain and all.

Last night I awoke to what appeared to be the sound of my parents. .. ahem... doing the deed. Quietly mind. Think squeaking mattress rather than whoops of ecstasy. I briefly thought "Ffs, go to sleep! " and then suddenly remembered the baby was in there too.

So I rang my little bell.

No change. Squeaking continued. Possible moans.

So I picked up the box of tissues by my bed and hurled them across the hallway. I was hoping to hit their door. I missed. Instead the cats sprung to action and began that horrendous sprinting about the house like a herd of elephants lark cats only seem to do at night. And frankly that is terrifying when you are stuck in bed with a broken leg jutting out invitingly like a cat sized springboard. So I lay still in the hope that cats wouldn't notice me. Luckily the tissues seemed to keep them occupied.

Anyway I must have fallen asleep then. Now, I don't know for sure what they were up. I am on some pretty heavy meds for a start. ;)

AIBU to ask my parents if they were shagging with my baby in the room? WIBU to request that they don't?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
justiceofthePeas · 16/10/2014 15:57

Incapacitated even

Thereshallbeaspirin · 16/10/2014 16:01

You know, if they're shagging with their grandchild in the room, they almost certainly shagged with the OP in the room at the same age. So at least OP is living proof that babies can recover from these experiences relatively unscathed.

Whether personally I could - as an adult - recover from hearing my parents at it hammer and tongs is another thing...

jellybelly701 · 16/10/2014 16:02

I'm quite shocked at how many people think this is okay. Having sex whilst your own child was asleep in the room is one thing, but having sex whilst another person's child is there is another.

I'm curious to see whether all those that thinks this is fine would also be fine with the babysitter DTD whilst their child slept right next to them?

With that said how you would broach the subject I have no idea Grin

ByTheWishingWell · 16/10/2014 16:05

I'm surprised so many people would be ok with it, but I'm obviously in the minority! DD is (nearly) 14 months and is still in with us, and we'd never have sex with her in the room. I really wouldn't be comfortable with anyone else doing it while she was there either. I have no idea how you'd politely bring it up with them though!

Lweji · 16/10/2014 16:05

Having sex whilst your own child was asleep in the room is one thing, but having sex whilst another person's child is there is another.

It's a one year old. And it's their grandchildren.
In any case how is it different? The child is asleep and it's too young to even realise anything if he/she wakes up.

remembers thread where OP had been caught by DIL having sex in the living room while GC was asleep upstairs and the over-reaction by DIL and DS

heartisaspade · 16/10/2014 16:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

neverletgojack · 16/10/2014 16:09

dear people who don't have sex when their child is sleeping in the room and they still share...

really no one will be damaged for life, trust me as a child whose mother gave birth 10 months after having me.

Although it might explain why there is only a 368 day age gap between my twoGrin

Thereshallbeaspirin · 16/10/2014 16:10

Never mind the bell, you should ask for a baby monitor between the rooms. That'll learn them. Although how you'd deal with the consequences if it didn't is another matter...

formerbabe · 16/10/2014 16:10

I am a bit icky about baby being in the room. Jeez we don't even do it when they are in the house!

Bit weird....how do you manage that?!

ouryve · 16/10/2014 16:15
jellybelly701 · 16/10/2014 16:17

lweji Yes of course the child is to young to understand. But the child will still be aware that something was happening if she/he woke up. At least my child would anyway. I can't even pick my nose with out his head swinging round to look at me to see what I am doing. He feels he is missing out if he sees me and DP cuddling and will scramble around trying to get in on the action. That's not something I want to deal with whilst having sex.

MajesticWhine · 16/10/2014 16:19

Still trying to get my head round the ringing of the bell. I mean, if they had come in, what would you have said? I would have hidden under the duvet.

ScarletFever · 16/10/2014 16:23

For goodness sake, the child will have no idea even if they see a brief glimpse of leg! if they wake up, if they can see over the cot if its light enough for them to see anything anyway

squoosh · 16/10/2014 16:25

If they did respond to your bell ringing reprimand I'd imagine it would have been your mother who'd have come to investigate. Would have been awkward to see your dad with an unfinished erection and then have a conversation about sex with him.

Sallyingforth · 16/10/2014 16:26

Having sex whilst your own child was asleep in the room is one thing, but having sex whilst another person's child is there is another.

How on earth is it any different? A sleeping baby won't be aware of the bed creaking, and if it did wouldn't know what was going on. The baby's parentage makes no difference at all. People are indeed strange.

Spindarella · 16/10/2014 16:27

Thereshallbeaspirin

You know, if they're shagging with their grandchild in the room, they almost certainly shagged with the OP in the room at the same age

[Grin]

roundandround51 · 16/10/2014 16:31

Squoosh that is awful but I must say that thought entered my head.

I can see how mortifying it is for OP but I don't think its any issue for the 1 year old.

My best friends parents were very amorous and whenever I slept over we would be woken by 'squeak squeak (bed not humans) followed by Grunt Grunt and then Yelp Yelp.
My poor friend was mortified and we always made fun of her rabbit like parents.

Sallystyle · 16/10/2014 16:32

This thread is so funny Grin

I had sex with my little ones in their cot. Wouldn't bother me if my parents did either. Well it would because they are divorced and my dad is a twat, but you know, if they were together I wouldn't care.

impomea · 16/10/2014 16:38

Are you David Mitchell ? Grin

AMumInScotland · 16/10/2014 16:40

jellybelly701 "I'm curious to see whether all those that thinks this is fine would also be fine with the babysitter DTD whilst their child slept right next to them?"

If I was paying a babysitter to look after my child I would be irritated if they brought someone else into the house to have sex.

If I was leaving my child overnight in someone else's care, and they were in a relationship, and I knew the child was going to be in the same room as them overnight, I would not have a problem with them having sex.

FruVikingessOla · 16/10/2014 16:41

My parents never had sex. True Fact. I'm adopted. So they never DTD, ever.

Grin Grin Grin

SirChenjin · 16/10/2014 16:42

People are strange

Nope, their opinions are different to yours. If you find that strange then that's your look out.

squoosh · 16/10/2014 16:42

Back in the day when our peasant ancestors were living in one room cottages it was either indulge in a bit of how's your father in front of your MIL, FIL, Granny, cousin, 14 children, dog, cat or go without forever more.

jellybelly701 · 16/10/2014 16:43

Its not just about seeing though is it? If anything its more to do with them hearing. A baby will be aware of happy/unhappy sounds. If I laugh DS (11mo) will smile. If I stub my toe and say 'ahh' he will look sad and incredibly worried, he can definitely distinguish happy and unhappy sounds. But I don't think he would know that my moaning and groaning during sex would be 'happy sounds' in fact I would go as far to say it would probably worry him.

DP was rooting around in the freezer the other and put his freezing cold hands on my bare back. I gasped and let out a little yelp which wasn't that far off my usual sex noises DS screamed his little head off, he thought I was hurt.

When he was younger we would DTD with him in his basket at the end of the bed. But I just couldn't at this age.

SirChenjin · 16/10/2014 16:43

Surely it would depend on the kind of sex they were having whilst your child was in the room with them?