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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Please help, DH in USA, and no contact...

65 replies

SageMist · 15/10/2014 22:36

He's due to catch a flight in Atlanta in 4 hours, I was expecting to hear from him at least 3 hours ago. He has been driving from North Carolina to Atlanta, and the last text I had from him was 8 hours ago.

He's not answering texts or phone calls.

The airline wont tell me if he's checked in, and I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
steff13 · 15/10/2014 22:56

He's in a foreign country with a long drive and flight to come, he's got other things to think about compared to you sitting at home stressing.

I would not accept this if it were my husband. How long does it take to text back, "I'm fine, get back with you later?" Two seconds? It must be clear to him by now that the OP is worried, it's almost mean not to respond.

Maybe he dropped the phone somewhere, and whoever picked it up saw the text.

zzzzz · 15/10/2014 22:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheWholeOfTheSpoon · 15/10/2014 22:58

I get that you're worried, but bad news travels fast. No news is good news, and normally means crappy reception and/or a flat battery.

LuluJakey1 · 15/10/2014 22:58

I would be worried. Hope he is ok. If he is and just hasn't called, he deserves a bollocking.

butterfliesinmytummy · 15/10/2014 22:59

Easy to worry I know, my dh is helicoptering on and off oil rigs in the Indian Ocean right now..... No contact for ages but that's normal. I'm in the USA, your dh won't be able to text or call while driving, but if anything happened to him, emergency services would find his next of kin from his phone or personal documents (passport etc) and you would know. Where was he driving from in NC?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 15/10/2014 23:00

I don't indeed get the angst. You heard from him 8 hours ago that's not even a full day. Have a bath and an early night and you'll see him tomorrowSmile

Cornettoninja · 15/10/2014 23:01

I would be anxious too. There's a million scenarios so try not to focus on the worst and hang on a while longer. Have you checked flight departures/arrivals on the airport website? There's a chance he's been delayed/missed a connection/delayed by customs and simply has no signal. Try to set a reasonable deadline - say another eight hours - then contact the police in the last known area.

talkinpeace that's how you live and obviously works for you, but try to appreciate that others are different.

If someone told me they wouldn't contact me for five days that would be fine - but I would freak the fuck out of I couldn't get hold of them on the sixth day. Many people don't know why their anxiety kicks in, but it's not uncommon.

I've had too many late night calls and side sweeps in life to not automatically assume the worst. In a way that's easier because I can tell myself to get a grip. If you haven't anaylysed it that much the anxiety and panic just takes over and it's pure torture being helpless and having no way of knowing what had happened or what you can do to make those feelings stop.

Bearbehind · 15/10/2014 23:02

i would not accept this if it were my husband

Really- so what would you do about it then? Hmm

Accepting it or otherwise is not an option at this point- he's not replying.

He could have read the text whilst driving but not been able to reply.

Fine- give him a bollocking later and tell him you were worried but for now, rather than imagining every possible worst case scenario, it's better to focus on the fact he's probably just busy.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 15/10/2014 23:02

Ignore the 'indeed' not sure why my phone added that!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 15/10/2014 23:02

Ignore the 'indeed' not sure why my phone added that!

LuluJakey1 · 15/10/2014 23:02

Mind you, my DH once didn't call to tell me they had let him on an earlier flight becausehe just had to get on there and then.If that is the case, he could actually be in the air.

MiddletonPink · 15/10/2014 23:03

Could the phones be on silent/in his bag?

Have a glass of wine and try to sleep. Hope he gets in touch soon.

PacificDogwood · 15/10/2014 23:04

I'd really not be concerned in this situation (and may well be guilty of not returning a text myself Blush), but clearly you are.
I hope you hear very soon - you do realise that chances are everything is alright, don't you?
Thanks

seagull70 · 15/10/2014 23:06

Maybe he's just stressing about getting the hire car back in time and has forgotten to reply to texts?

My DH gets distracted all the time. Funnily enough, his phone will then 'call me' from inside his pocket at stupid o clock in the morning. That's when I don't want to be hearing from him. Smile

I'm sure he's fine xxxx

SageMist · 15/10/2014 23:09

I was expecting him to contact me when he got to Atlanta. Which I expected to happen before now.

OP posts:
ladygracie · 15/10/2014 23:12

With an iPhone it can say that a text has been read even if it hasn't. I didn't know this but if you have another app open (like Google maps maybe) when the text arrives it says you've read it even if you haven't. Hope that makes sense. Really hope you hear from him soon.

Bearbehind · 15/10/2014 23:12

But did he actually say he'd contact you or did you just expect him to?

Stop worrying.

BreconBeBuggered · 15/10/2014 23:15

Is there something specific you're anxious about, beyond the lack of contact?

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/10/2014 23:20

OP I think that when you're travelling there are all kinds of things which can happen to interrupt communication.

DH and I are frequent text-ers, but on a trip like that I wouldn't expect to hear until he landed back in the UK.

He could have run out of battery, been asked to turn his phone off in the airport, lost signal.

Or decided to sit and have a coffee in peace and forgotten all about texting you..

onedayiwillmissthis · 15/10/2014 23:21

My daughter is in Alabama, around 3 hours drive from Atlanta. She posted on Facebook that they were on Tornado alert, & often when that happens they have problems with communications. She has sometimes been unable to use her mobile for several days.

TSSDNCOP · 15/10/2014 23:24

Sage as someone already said, if there was a problem you'd have had a call by now. I reckon he was held up, then had the faff of dumping the hire car, checking in etc, late for flight, boarded etc etc.

EXACTLY the same thing happened to DH last night. US airports are really OTT about mobile phone use IME.

Minerves · 15/10/2014 23:25

Is it possible that he left his phone in the hire car when he dropped it off?

Bearbehind · 15/10/2014 23:27

If his phone battery is low he might well have had to turn his phone off in order to be able to turn it back on to prove it actually works when he goes through security.

This is the major downside of being contactable 24-7 by mobile- even 10 years ago you'd never expect a call before a long haul flight from an airport.

Technology has a lot to answer for.

kslatts · 15/10/2014 23:30

There are lots of reasons why he hasn't text back, or maybe he has replied but it hasn't come through, especially considering he is abroad, he may of just lost signal.

Excitedforxmas · 15/10/2014 23:31

He's a man !! He's probably packed his phone away in his bag!