To think regular 30 minute conversations and multiple daily text messages with another woman

[fourforapound]

Is not normal or ok when you are married? Even if you are 'just friends and chatting'

No sounds dangerous to me op. Sorry.

No I also don't think that's ok.

It depends more on the impact it is having on your relationship. Why does it bother you?

DP and his best (female) friend do this, doesn't bother me at all because I trust him. I'm guessing you don't trust him, otherwise you wouldn't be asking?

I wouldn't be happy. (Unless perhaps he is the type who also spends hours chatting to male friends too...)

My DH does this with a 27 year old. I don't see any harm in it, but, it depends on the circumstances.

I think it depends if it is an old friend and they've always been like this or if it is someone new.

I must admit this would make me uncomfortable.

It really depends, I think. I spend a good thirty minutes a day chatting to a male colleague, and probably that much again by email each day, but it's strictly non-suspicious, and I'd think dp was crazy if he took offence to it.

Depends. If dh were the type to do this before marriage, I wouldn't think twice. But out of the blue new female friend, now calling & texting daily? Red flag. What is his history? Does he do this with anyone else or is this new and isolated?

Regular 30 minute phone conversations? Or just in work/in a situation where seeing each other is unavoidable?

Multiple daily text messages with the same person all the time would get right on my last nerve, even if it was dh's mother or brother. Whoever it is, unnecessary.

Regular how?
Daily, weekly, every second Thursday, every Christmas?
Is he allowed to have male friends?

How regular, what do they talk about? Does he call her while in the room with you? How do you think he would react if you did this?

It would bother me but I'm a jealous bitch

I actually used to be a big one for texting and had a few male friends I did text lots, never a secret, never anything I would or did hide from DH and he had no issues with it.

The fact you know about it and it's not a secret relationship makes me think there's very probably nothing to be alarmed about here.

I guess it depends on your relationship, I have a couple of male friends/colleagues who I exchange multiple daily texts (but not phone calls) with. Dh knows about them and doesn't have an issue, but the message a aren't anything that wouldn't stand up to being read by their wives, as we are friends, nothing more.

3 or 4 times a week for the phonecalls, never in front of me it's always when walking the dog or going to/from work. He has known her about a year I think, I have not seen the messages, I see her name pop up a lot but he deletes them.

Another one re female friends?

Depends on the context, how they know each other etc.

I have colleagues I speak to a lot when I'm working on projects with them, and we text each other with work and non work stuff.

But so far as I know the conversations aren't secret from their wives.

Are the phone calls still on going, as in 3 or so a week for the last year? I would find that a lot, rather than over a period of time that could be explained by projects etc.

Just having a friend you chat to a lot is not in itself a problem, however imo not calling in front of you but creating opportunities to go out to speak to her + deleting messages so you can't see them = problem.

Gosh, I have this kind of relationship with several male friends, some married, some not.

I hope their partners are ok with it.

Personally, I can't see the problem. To me friendship is gender blind and I spend a lot of time on friendships. But I'm single so I don't really know how normal that is when in a relationship. I've never had anyone tell me it's weird.

I'd be suspicious as Vital says not of the relationship per se but the way that he is conducting it.

I used to sit next to a female colleague who used to do this with a married male colleague. Sometimes his wife would answer the phone and say hi and ask her how she was. My colleague would say if she texted him, his wife would say, 'oh it's only Susie' (name change) and laugh off their inane text exchanges.

They were having an affair. The marriage split up as did the affair.

Just because this happened with my ex colleague doesn't mean it is happening to you. What I would say though is that just because the wife is OK with this level of communication and it is out in the open with her is no guarantee that things are not happening behind your back.

Deleting of texts and calls on his own are a red flag.

The deleting and calls when you're out no no no no no*

Sorry didn't mean that in bold!