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AIBU?

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Original poster

Back to work meeting but still feeding - AIBU to make this known?!

28 replies

Givemecoffeeplease · 14/10/2014 14:23

Am a bit pissed off - have asked to return to work part time after mat leave with DD and now have been called in for a meeting to discuss. So far so good, but they've told me I will be paid as a KIT day. Does this mean they get me for the whole day?!? How can I point out that I'm still feeding twice during the day so can't leave him for a full day even tho they are kind of paying me to?! Don't want to prejudice the application and despite all the laws and regs my company isn't exactly modern about these things....!

OP posts:
freezation · 14/10/2014 14:27

I did a few KIT days but they weren't days as such, just a few hours at a time and I was paid accordingly. Just say you'll come in and be paid for the length of the meeting. They have to accommodate expressing (although I know that's not what you're doing).

MrsHathaway · 14/10/2014 14:29

For a similar meeting I took pfb with me.

Ask them. You don't have to cite bf, merely that your childcare isn't in place yet (but will be in time for your proper return) so you need lots of notice or won't be able to come in for longer than x hours.

FWIW I would recommend telling them that you are bf - it triggers certain additional protections, risk assessments and so on. If you want to express (I needed to for a couple of weeks until my supply readjusted) then they have to make suitable provision (private room preferably not a toilet, fridge if you aren't dumping the milk).

Original poster
Givemecoffeeplease · 14/10/2014 14:46

Thank you. It feels like they make this much more complicated than they need to. No bloody clarity! And I can't be the only one with zero family. How does this sound?

"I don't have childcare in place at the moment (but it will of course be organised for my return) and I'm still feeding PFB. Therefore I can't do an entire day. Is it possible to just be paid for the time I attend the meeting with you and Other Boss rather than for the whole day?

Let me know your thoughts and I can then get back to you with times. How long do you forsee the meeting lasting (I appreciate its dependent on me as much as anything but a vague idea would be good to sort childcare accordingly)."

Sorry to ask such a wussy question. However they've been so uncooperative so far that I've lost all confidence! I'm trying to be clear and transparent and not let emotion get the better of me...

"

OP posts:
SwayingCat · 14/10/2014 14:50

My work paid for a KIT day even if the meeting was just an hour, so ask how long they are expecting you for and explain you are feeding so need appropriate breaks. I cant see theyd want you for the whole day if its just a back to work meeting?

Stillwishihadabs · 14/10/2014 14:54

I got dh to drive me to the meeting and taking ebf pfb for a long walk, while I had my meeting. I am sorry I thinks it would be unprofessional to take your baby with you.

HellonHeels · 14/10/2014 14:59

She's on mat leave. How can it be unprofessional? And what if OP doesn't have a DH?

davidjrmum · 14/10/2014 15:15

YANBU to tell your employer that you are still bf so can only attend meeting and not for full day. Just because they mentioned KIT doesn't mean that they expect you for the whole day - KIT regulations relate to the 10 days you can have before you come back from maternity leave without impacting on statutory maternity pay. This could be 10 full days or one hour on 10 days but once you've had 10, you've had 10. If you do 10 full days you can, in effect earn 2 full weeks salary on top of your maternity pay which is surely a good thing, particularly given that they are not mandatory.

YABU about your company. You've asked to go part time and your company is happy to discuss this with you and what's more they've told you that they'll pay you to come in to the meeting and "you're a bit pissed off"! Your company sounds like it's doing everything right to me so how about cutting them a bit of slack and appreciating that you're alive now and not at the time when women often had to give up their jobs when they got married.

Lorelei353 · 14/10/2014 15:16

my company treated a meeting as a half KIT day so when I had ky flexible working meeting I brought ds, it lasted about an hour and I got paid for half a day. Noone batted an eye at me bringing him - it seemed expected to show him off in the office before the meeting.

fiorentina · 14/10/2014 15:17

I was paid for a whole day for a few bours meeting. I took my daughter to meet colleagues and left her with a PA who was more than happy to take care of her. I'm sure whatever you decide will be fine.

Original poster
Givemecoffeeplease · 14/10/2014 15:21

David I'm grateful for the emancipation of women, the legal right to discuss flexible working and of course my gorgeous baby. I'm pissed off that there is no clarity in what they are offering (do they want me for a day? An hour?) and in a heap of back story that I won't waste your time with. I sdo see your point - we are living in a great time to be able to balance babies and work.

OP posts:
FrenchJunebug · 14/10/2014 15:43

aren't KIT day up to you and not your employer?!

OOAOML · 14/10/2014 15:44

There were no KIT days when I took leave, but as far as I can tell most people here come in for a couple of hours to attend a particular event or meeting, then go home again, but get paid for the full day.

Do you have an HR department? Might be worth asking them to clarify. They will know that you have to arrange childcare so asking for details of times is perfectly reasonable.

If you are going to carry on bf might be worth checking arrangements with HR? Ours were very good at giving access to the first aid room, keys for the fridge in there etc. And I had an electric pump so I had to get it checked by maintenance (which seemed to consist of looking at the plug, presumably to make sure it wasn't bare wires).

BendyMum15 · 14/10/2014 15:44

I was paid hourly for any KIT days when I did them while on mat leave with DS. I even took him with me once as my boss asked me to as she hadn't seen him for a while so wasn't expected to get paid but then saw extra money on payslip!

MrsHathaway · 14/10/2014 15:46

I think yours is a good email, but you could go for "don't have regular childcare in place yet" and perhaps "I should be grateful if you could let me know how long you anticipate that our meeting will last so that I can make suitable arrangements".

I strongly suspect they are mentioning KIT so they can't be accused of pestering you while you are on ML, rather than because they actually want you for the whole day.

davidjrmum · 14/10/2014 15:59

Don't understand the last few responses as they sound as though this meeting is something the employer has dreamed up to satisfy their own whims which they now need to justify by calling a KIT day in case OP thinks they are pestering her. The OP has asked to go part-time - the employer has, not unreasonably, asked her to come in to discuss. Surely the meeting is as much for the OPs benefit as the employers - in essence OP triggered meeting by making a request to work part-time. Presumably if OP hadn't requested to work part-time the meeting wouldn't be happening!

MediumOrchid · 14/10/2014 16:17

I don't think this is a big deal - as others have said a KIT day doesn't have to be a whole day, it's just what it's called, they may pay you for the whole day though, or a part of it. Just ask what time the meeting will be and how long it will last, and you can plan accordingly. Should they tell you it will take longer than you can manage, let them know.

Do bring up the fact that you're breastfeeding at the meeting if you're planning on expressing when you go back. Outline what it is that you need from them because they may not know - a private (ideally lockable)room, with chair and power point, where you can go at lunch to express. You can probably manage with a cool bag for your milk if there aren't fridges.

Good luck for your meeting!

Stillwishihadabs · 14/10/2014 16:22

Oh and my work can't pay. You for less than a "session" eg; half a day, even if they just need you for a couple of hours.

Stillwishihadabs · 14/10/2014 16:27

If you are attending a meeting for which you are getting paid, then it is unprofessional to take a baby along. I made the point about dh to show what lengths I went to attend the meeting without ds, despite him being a ebf 4 month old. When is your return date OP ?

hamptoncourt · 14/10/2014 16:30

I would just send them a much shorter, breezy email asking what time the meeting is due to start and finish so you can arrange childcare.

Them saying they will pay you as a KIT day is just their way of explaining you will be paid but haven't returned from ML yet I expect.

Then if they come back and say they want you for the whole day ( blardy unlikely imho) that is when you start explaining about ebf etc.

Good luck Grin

Original poster
Givemecoffeeplease · 14/10/2014 18:04

Thanks all. I just wasn't expecting to be paid (nice surprise!) as yes, in effect the meeting is for my benefit. And suddenly they mentioned KIT days and I was worried they wanted me for the whole day. I can't leave him that long yet. I would have been happy to give up a couple of hours with no financial return tbh so it's nice to get the dosh. Thanks all for your help. I go back early February so it's good to be getting organised.

OP posts:
shrunkenhead · 14/10/2014 18:54

Maybe just express some to cover yourself for the day, so someone else can feed baby and you're not worrying about feeding it. As someone else said, wouldn't be professional to bring a baby to a meeting.

MrsHathaway · 14/10/2014 19:51

No, I wasn't accusing the employers of pestering, quite the opposite. They are dedeliberately and correctly using KIT to show that it's a business thing which doesn't prejudice the ML - as opposed to bad employers who think they can do what they like even though it might leave an employee out of pocket or feeling pressurised to accelerate her return.

notquiteruralbliss · 14/10/2014 22:00

What's a KIT day? If it means you get paid that's good isn't it? I assume they will just want you for a meeting, but I guess it would be good to confirm.

I can remember going in to work with a 3 or 4 week old baby to discuss my next role (over 10 years ago in an Investment Bank that wasn't especially family friendly.

I sat BFing the baby while chatting with a couple of MDs about my next role, which was due to start a couple of weeks later. TBF they really didn't care bout me having the baby with me me, they just wanted to confirm my start date and to brief me about the new role.

backbystealth · 14/10/2014 22:53

'Hi boss/hR person

Am looking forward to coming in on X to discuss X.

One thing, I am still breast feeding my baby every X hours so I'd either need to come in for only X hours or bring the baby in with me.

Please let me know what you'd prefer and confirm whether it would still be regarded a KIT day.

Take care/kind regards Givemecoffee'

redautumnleaves · 14/10/2014 22:58

For KIT days you get paid for whole day regardless of actual time spent at work. When I had similar meeting I brought dd in with me. I had not started work formally, was still breastfeeding lots and had no childcare. It was fine. Hope it is for you too, OP.