to make DS rehome his guinea pigs

[clatterpillar]

We got DS guinea pigs when he was 13. He loved them and looked after them really well - they lived in an open pen in his room.

We realised at the time that they could outlive his interest in them and made a provisional plan - before buying - that they could go and live with his grandmother, who agreed.

3 years on, he has started A levels and has a busy social life. The guinea pigs now live in a hutch in the garden. They have not been out the hutch except when he cleans it and I frequently have to check they have hay. I checked them this morning and they had NO WATER in their bottle. This is the second time it has happened.

I have just talked to DS about it and he was uncommunicative but said he had forgotten them a bit and would try harder. I said this isn't good enough, and unless I see them getting some time out of the hutch and no more lapses in basic care, I will rehome them. There is also a family nearby who would like them. He will not consider these options and won't look me in the eye or discuss this properly.

Clatterpiller there is no point feeling guilty about anything when you are clearly trying to do your best for everyone.
I think your parents had the right idea about you caring for the hamsters. Perhaps you could give Your son a certain time that the pigs have to be fed etc? Maybe before school? (even if it makes him late)
Because of your son's background and him already having suffered from loss (presumably) I would do everything I could to encourage him to bond with them again, and definitely keep them, even if I had to play with them myself.
By the way... Your mother sounds lovely to be willing to take the pets and care for them.
If they do have to go I suggest they go to your mother so your son doesn't lose them completely.
I hope it all goes well.

It sounds like it's you that doesn't want them in the house. I think your DS would be able to look after them much better inside.

Yes, I think you would be unreasonable to rehome them.

Your son needs to learn that pets are a responsibility that lasts for their entire lifetime, not until he gets bored of them. It isn't a case of living a poor life with you vs a good life with someone else. Ensure your son becomes a better owner, and if that doesn't work out the responsibility falls to you as the adult. There are thousands of animals in rescue centres right now because of this shoddy, lazy attitude towards them. They are living creatures, not disposable toys.

It was entirely DS decision to put them outside, unprompted by me. It was much better for me because the hair from their blankets clogged up the washing machine and dryer but I didn't instigate it.

Look, I am trying to do the right thing - I don't want to sweep in and take them away. I love animals and have had many pets - all of them well looked-after and happy. I need to navigate this situation in a way that doesn't cause more tension in an already very difficult situation.

I do not agree that he should be made to stick by his decision to have them and keep them forever. In fact, this is what he currently thinks is his only option. I would rather he learned that if you find you've made a mistake, you have to do the right thing by all parties and come up with a plan.

If I can get a conversation going I hope I can work out whether he actually wants to keep them in which case I will help, or just feels that he has to keep them - and guide him towards a decision.

I see why you're treading so carefully OP. I did think it was a weeny bit odd at first, the way you spoke about communicating with him, untill you mentioned the adoption info.

Did they go outside this summer OP?

Perhaps part of the plan could be to bring them back in (even if it's just for winter) as it is a bigger chore to keep going out in the cold and dark to deal with an animal rather than have it indoors.

Why not take the responsibility and decision making to him, with some adult guidance?

For example, sit down with him and discuss the minimum acceptable care, in concrete terms (not just trying harder/better) and write down what you both agree is necessary and appropriate. Ask him what should happen if he can't or doesn't meet what is agreed. Hopefully you'll have a bit of a contract then i.e. x,y,z needs to happen or the GP go to someone else.

I don't think this should be a hugely emotional/guilt ridden issue. In the circumstances you describe I think I'd be stressing that it's very common and normal to outgrow interests, and perhaps another child who is very interested could have the chance to care for the GP. Steering clear of ideas of abandonment etc.

I don't think yabu. Id give him two weeks.
I understand he's adopted but these animals needs and health can't be be pushed aside because of that.
If the grandmother is going to take good care and get them to run around then if he doesn't change his ways then rehome them to her.
It's not fair on the gp.
Yes he's busy with his exams, but so are other people and they don't neglect their pets. At 18 i was at uni with exams but still looked after my
Pet.
Goodluck op.