To think DP should have asked me first before getting a dog

[NorrisCole]

A friend of ours has recently been sectioned. He hasn't been well for a while and things came to a head a few days ago and he has been taken to get better.

He has a dog, quite a large dog - I think it's a bearded collie - which I have met a few times.

DP has decided that we are taking the dog and we will be keeping it until our friend gets out and back on his feet again.

I am fuming. I don't like dogs, sorry I know that's not a popular opinion but I never have liked them, I'm nervous around them and in my opinion they stink and slobber everywhere and the thought of it makes me feel sick.

I have a 5 year old and a 16 month old and I have got enough to do day to day without a dog too, I'd be looking after the dog daily while DP is at work and 3/4 nights a week too while he is at the pub and his hobbies.

It means I can't really do anything unless I plan it round the dog.

It means that I will need to leave the house several times a day to walk it no matter how exhausted I am from being up most of the night with a 16 month old who refuses to sleep.

I know I sound selfish but surely he should have asked me first? He just jumped straight in wanting to look like the big I am offering to do this that and the next thing when he knows he hasn't got the time.

There are several other people who could take the dog but DP says that the dog doesn't know them so he won't settle. I pointed out that the dog doesn't actually know me either and more importantly the dog doesn't know the dcs so it wasn't any different.

Finally, our tenancy agreement states no pets at all and I'm nervous about saying to the landlord about the dog staying in the flat. I know they wouldn't be happy and I completely understand why, the flat has just been redecorated with new carpets and flooring.

Aibu to put my foot down for once and refuse to let him bring the dog here?

Or should I be more understanding and give it a go?

tell your DP if he wants to help that much to go stay in friends house and look after dog BUT he will have to arrange and pay for dog walking services when he is at work or doing his hobbies.

Thabk you for the replies.

I have spoken to him this morning and told him the dog will not be staying here.

I suggested that he stays in the empty house with the dog and he is going to look into it. It will only be for a month or two hopefully but maybe longer depending on how long it takes for our friend to get better.

I know he was being kind offering to help but he just doesn't think things through and expected me to just go along with it

Tell him the landlord has told you to get rid of the dog. YANBU

"I know he was being kind offering to help but he just doesn't think things through and expected me to just go along with it"
No, he was NOT being kind. He was landing you with a big responsibility and a lot of work which he would then take the credit for. In what way is that kind?

ANd I'm still concerned about the 'for once' in your OP - "Aibu to put my foot down for once and refuse to let him bring the dog here?"

If the dog is insured, most insurances will pay for kenneling for a certain amount of time. Suggest you check?

Sorry that's - if the owner is hospitalised.

Just tell your landlord what's happening and ask them to call your DH and tell him it's the dog or your deposit.

Also, your DH sounds like a selfish arse. It's not a great gesture of kindness of him to volunteer his partner to look after a massive dog, along with two children (one non-sleeping), while he pisses off to the pub.

Oh good I'm glad you've had the conversation.

The advice from scuttlebutter is spot on IMO.

There must be a charity who does forstering nearby.

That way your dp can see the dog, but if they need to keep it if his friend is in treatment for longer, there won't be a problem.

Sometimes people don't think if they're upset and panicking. It must have been a shock to your dp to have his friend sectioned.

If you feel you're on the receiving end of decisions made without your input a lot you might find relationship negotiation counselling useful.

Great that you have talked to your DH - cinnamon trust also do dog walking.

It wouldn't matter if OP and DH owned a big detached house and garden with no children on the ramp or in the hangar. Neither gets a pet, even short-term, without the agreement of the other. If there is nobody else, DH could stay at friend's house overnight but then he must put his family first, have the dog PTS, and get back home. And I know that not everybody will agree.