I bought a squash and a watermelon but my son has drawn faces on them and called them Malcolm and Graham!

[FatMumSlim72]

Am I being unreasonable in still wanting to cut them up to eat even though he cries if I approach them with a knife?

Sorry if this is a huge dilemma for you OP but it made me do an actual LOL

Yes, you are.

They're family now.

And they're missing Hollyoaks.

Photo?

Perhaps you could peel off Malcolm and Graham's faces and put them on something else?

Actually, that would probably traumatise your son for life

Tell him Malcolm and Graham are baddies and need to be destroyed?

Nope, can't think of anything. You're going to have to accept that this will be a touchstone for your son's future psychotherapy

He sound so cute

Has he been watching Miranda?

Be a real life fruit ninja

My DS befriended the large crusty loaf we bought for lunch. We weren't allowed to eat him, and he got cuddles on the sofa and made to watch paw patrol. Then DS got peckish and began to nibble...

Malcolm looks worried....

Going by that expression I think Malcolm knows what the future (and the kitchen) has in store for him.

I'm not surprised Malcolm looks worried considering his future contains either fruit flies or THE KNIFE.

You could always turn Malcolm's face into a picture of a willy, neatly thus turning him back into a graffito'd vegetable.

Although that might just give your son castration anxiety.

Presumably you're not going to be serving Malcolm and Graham at the same time? Eat the watermelon tonight and put the butternut under his pillow. Just because.

He was very reluctant to go to school this morning until I had promised not to touch them.

Has ge been over to baby names? Are Malcolm and graham making a comeback?

I wish they had called them Clifford and Grahame far more appropriate victims for "cutting up" IMHO

It could be worse. This once happened to someone who brought a live lobster home to cook and her 5 year old daughter promptly claimed it as a pet and named it "Shelly".

Didn't someone do this yesterday, with a swede?

That's so cute. And cheered me up no end
Of course you can't eat them.

Thank you OP and I fear you are stymied!

Aw they are so cute! You have to save them now...

I just tried reasoning with him again...

Aw the squash looks sooo sad!!

How old is your DS?
Is he at school? or college or work?

Can you arrange for them to "go on holiday" while he's not there and send him lots of postcards of their travels courtesy of a well travelled friend