I bought a squash and a watermelon but my son has drawn faces on them and called them Malcolm and Graham!

[FatMumSlim72]

Am I being unreasonable in still wanting to cut them up to eat even though he cries if I approach them with a knife?

Pseudo you actually made me laugh out loud there!

FatMumSlim, I'm afraid you'll just have to buy another squash and watermelon. Don't let your son know, you don't want Malcolm and Graham getting sisters to add to the family.

Thanks everyone. Good to know there is support out there for potential fruit murderers.

I'd put Malcolm out his misery first, the stress is too much for him. Graham on the other hand looks happy with life.

You can't possibly hurt them OP. They are part of your family now.

Was also thinking of Miranda

such fun

Oh dear, and now we have David too. I'm going to hide every sharpie in the house....

Ha! I will happily send your DS a postcard from Graham and pals if you like

Do you think the affection for David might fade away when your DS wants to decorate for Hallowe'en?

DS is 7. A sensitive one admittedly....would still possibly believe the holiday idea! Oh what the heck, I really fancy some watermelon!!

You can't chop them up!

I remember having a pet potato as a child, it had a face (not drawn on, an actual face made out of potato growths), I loved it and cried when my mother found it going a bit mushy and chucked it in the bin in disgust.

You need to buy your DS a book called Sophie's Squash. It's lovely.

Hehe! Brilliant

David looks belligerent.

I think Malcom deserves a crack at happiness.

Graham is hiding latent rage.

Poor Malcolm. I'm seeing him as Malcolm Tucker. He probably deserves the knife... But he'd be welcome in my life instead

Hahaha this is amazing!

Reminds me of the time last year when I thought (for a bit of fun) that I'd stick some googly eyes onto DD's (she was 5) lunchbox tangerine. I thought it was hilarious. She was quite traumatised by the whole thing, declaring she could never eat a fruit person!

OP you are not alone! This has also happened v recently in the topsmart household. DD aged 7 adopted a squash, a watermelon and a tiny pumpkin. All were given faces and names and I wasn't allowed near them - especially after the 2 yr old clocked them. Much wailing and gnashing of teeth if I asked about chopping them up. Let my experience be a lesson to you: the squash will last and last but the watermelon will not. One day you will notice a smelly leak from him, you will announce that his time has come and you will pick him up and approach the bin. Then he will slip from your fingers and land SMASH on the floor.
Watermelon mouldy massacre. Disgusting. The horror.

I blame mr bloom

Blimey. So sorry to hear of ex-potato pet, googly-eyed tangerine and leaky melon. Who needs to pay for cats and dogs when there is such love for fruit?! Though admittedly it sounds like a squash would be the only thing to outlast a real pet as everything else goes squishy. Unless you could varnish the melon, making it airtight? That could work. Either that or having it for breakfast tomorrow. One extreme or the other!

My grandma tells the story of her dad bringing home a live fish he'd caught. She played with it in the sink all day till eventually my great grandm decides it's tea time, whips it out the sink, slaps it down on the draining board and bashes it's head in. Right in front of her daughter. She was a no nonsense woman my nanna...

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