to have been really creeped out by this man?

[DecisionsDecisionss]

Last week I went on a weekend away in Italy with dd who is 2. We were in a city in a quietish area and a man who looked in his fifties wandered over as I was walking with dd and looking at my map (so I was slightly preoccupied).

He stroked the top of her head and probably did a couple of strokes with a strange look on his face when I pulled dd away and said sternly to him 'no, sorry' so that he would back off. He wandered off and didn't say anything, so I don't know what he was thinking.

I am still alarmed by it, I feel that walking up to a lone mother and her child and stroking the child's head is really wrong, he never said a word or started a conversation with me, his behaviour really awoke the lioness in me! If it had been UK I'd have been absolutely furious, but I know Italians are more tactile in general.

If dd is blonde and curly haired like mine then youre practically asking for it in italy ;) my brother and I were and couldn't move a square inch without being cuddled and kissed and stroked there when we were children.

In Rome loads of old people patted, stroked hair, face or hands of our 2yo DS. They never asked permission. Italian members of my family do it too. It is friendly. Not sinister. Cultural differences.

Our DC get it more because they are blonde haired. It was the same for me, also blonde, in Italy.

Nothing bad was done to me back then or the DC now.

They think we are weird and standoffish in England. All scared of bogey men and stranger danger lurking round every corner.

Forget the Italian link to the story, it still shouldn't be an issue, 99.9% of people think babies are cute, and not child molesters, over the age of 50 probably they don't get much interaction with babies... Give the guy a break and get over yourself.

I think you were rude and need to get over it.

Oh this brings back lovely memories of our honeymoon in Italy. [sentimental gushy face] We got married in Italy and our oldest nephew 2 1/2 was with us. I'll never forget this little old woman diving out of nowhere and running up to our boy to rattle on in italian, naturally, ruffling his hair and squeezing his cheeks. She finished with a big kiss and cuddle then disappeared back into the entry. My poor boy stood there in shock while we giggled away, then he just wandered on as if nothing happened. The wonderful Italians couldn't keep their hands of him and by the end of our trip he was practically demanding cuddles.

Don't worry OP, it's probably just a cultural difference and he didn't speak because he was embarrassed when he realised he scared you. I think if it was more sinister he wouldn't have left.

YABU. All of my children are blonde and blue eyed except my daughter who has albinism. Her eyes are pale blue but can appear pink in certain lights and her hair is platinum. We took all four to Italy when they were younger and were a source of much interest wherever we went (especially DD). They were patted, stroked, kissed and generally made a huge fuss of. There was absolutely nothing untoward at all. We were never asked if they could touch the kids and I wouldn't have been expected to be asked either. You need to chill out a bit OP.

Yes, most babies look sweet, lying in their pushchairs asleep or smiling with few teeth, or unusually lots of hair. I'll comment to the parents with them about how lovely they look. I'll ignore babies with snotty noses or are whining or are unkempt.

Bloody hell. It's Italy. They do this. It's called being nice to children. Says something about this country that we don't know what this is when we see it.

This is a Southern European thing. I have blond children and they have been given lollies, free icecreams even a lemon once! Blond children are very unusual there. I can see why you panicked but don't be perturbed further, it's normal.

Shame we do not cherish children as a society the way the Italians do

I'm constantly touching children. That sounds so wrong ! But my hands are drawn to ruffle their hair or squish their chops. Admittedly, I tend to know these children and I haven't been told not to, (yet) but I can under stand the impulse.

I couldn't walk a hundred yards in Rome without my hair being touched or stroked. I have naturally bright red hair which is rare over there. If I took the DC they would face the same I reckon.

Jesus wept!

When my two were small, all manner of strangers would chat to them, pat their head or stroke their face in the supermarket or cafés. It didn't bother me one little bit.

I get a bit sick of all this "trust your instincts" bollocks. Not everyone is a paedophile, or is a bit weird, or sinister. Some people just like children. I feel so sorry for men nowadays, they can't even smile at a child without some parents thinking ill of them!

Awwww, Ive stroked a baby's head before! Especially if they have lovely hair. (2 is still baby to me anyway)

Sounds like he was being nice.

My dd is no where near blond. Presumably in Italy men never do anything untoward to women or children so no need for a man to ensure a woman feels comfortable with his forwardness when in a quiet area.

Looks like I'd better holiday in the UK in future though

YABU. It's quite normal in Italy. And lovely.

And your last comment gets quite close to racism.

I'm 100% with thefairy... I'm a bit sick of this trust your instinct crap that gets banded about all the time.

Holidaying in the UK won't stop people taking an interest, it's human nature, stop thinking the worst of everyone and enjoy your babies attention.

I'm now having fomd memories of holidays in Italy as a 6 year old 50 years ago, yikes! before Italy was a normal destination for Brits (my father had friends with a villa there) and being given sweets in the shop, and having my hair ruffled.

Yes stay in Uk and you can give the menfolk scary looks if they approach you and dd....

Your DD came into contact with another person? And he was male? Dear God, what is the world coming to?!

Genuinely think in these situations you have to be there.

I'm from a large family, pretty lazy chilled out about stuff. My DC are used to being passed about, cuddled, teased etc.

However today a man was talking to DD1 and I was okay, until he got very close to her and my reaction was very clearly "don't touch her". Didn't say anything, smiled, and we moved away. But it was a strong reaction.

Could be me being a bit loopy, might not be. It really depends on your sense of the situation. However if you react like that a lot, the problem is probably more yours than them.

And your last comment gets quite close to racism

Er...what? Where?

Sounds like a normal European reaction to a cute child to me.

When I was younger (during the 80s), I lived in Germany. My little sister, who was 2/3 yrs old at the time, couldn't go anywhere without being stopped by Germans, stroked, petted, given chocolate etc (used to annoy me though!). The reason behind it all was her red hair. It's quite unusual in Germany and so people used to make a real fuss of her.

All my DC's are very very blond and blue eyed . The year we went to Italy they were touched and patted everywhere they went , and often having a coin pressed into their hands . One night the town had a religious festival going on with literally thousands of people there, and they absolutely cleaned up ! Particularly the 3 eldest as they are so alike people thought they were triplets . I don't think I paid for a single ice cream the whole trip .

I wasn't spooked when a strange man smiled at ds, till he started surreptitiously following us and when we realised and randomly stopped a couple of times he would stop too and try to look inconspicuous.