To wonder how you'd have dealt with this (rude colleague)

[Poppiesinautumn]

This morning I was helping lift an elderly gentleman in hospital and I was chatting a bit as I did so.

Then we went to put the soiled sheets in the laundry.

Colleague turns to me and said in a really exaggerated tone 'Woah. Chill.' I was [ hmm] 'what?' 'Chill. You're babbling. Shush. Just - chill.'

I didn't say a word, just sort of raised my eyebrow.

I wish I'd said don't be so rude or something now - but the moment passed; what would you have said?

cross posts

It sounds a slightly unprofessional conversation...not breaking rules but mot one I would have.( and I work with unwell patients too) maybe she just wanted you to tone it down.

Thanks for more recent replies. I honestly know I wasn't being unreasonable to chat! apart from anything else the job is personal care and it's just rude to grab someone and plonk them on a wheelchair without explaining first they're about to be hoisted out of bed and have their pjs taken down!

Of course if I get the sense someone doesn't want to talk I don't but you still do the sort of 'do you mind if I give you a shave mr jones' talk. As I say it would be rude not to!

It doesn't sound like you were babbling. It sounds like you were using humour to put the patient at ease.

Not sure what you should say to rude people as you can have a stonker of a response in reserve but usually when someone's rude it takes you by surprise and you say nothing while trying to work out what just happened.

Idio it really wasn't

Is your voice high pitched when you're working.

Idio I've just worked our what you mean - no, not like that! I know his wife - lovely lady and it's just a running joke that I won't go into here as it's identifiable (this is why I didn't want the thread to become about ME.)

I would never say to a patient' don't worry I won't tell your wife you said that' . I would say chat should just be about the care and keep it simple.
If you feel it was ok then you could have said to your colleague' I felt I was talking normally, what did I do wrong?'.

Clap - I don't know if you're trying to annoy me or not. I've said already, no, not to my knowledge.

BUT I do a difficult job that is poorly paid and I know I do it well.

Perhaps I cause irritation at times. I don't think I do as I'm polite and prompt and cheerful without being over the top.

My thread wasn't about me being a terrible hca for being loud and high pitched and unprofessional, as I'm not. It's about someone being bloody rude for no reason at all and me being left feeling like a naughty child for it.

Ok sounds ok, but your colleague may not be in on the joke.

Idio I didn't do that because I didn't do anything wrong.

She is.

Ok, but she hasn't really done anything technically wrong either has she, you just obviously have different styles and maybe don't get along. You can either ask her to explain or not. Or ask a SN what she thinks.

If your colleague is known to be difficult, I doubt any comeback would 'put her in her place'.

I think you just have to be bright and breezy, ignore her, get on with the job, and be yourself........and hopefully you don't have to work directly with this colleague too often.

IME, unpleasant people are also thick-skinned, so any comment you make in response will be met with a bigger insult. So, I'd look to minimise contact, rather than inflame the situation by defending yourself/putting her down.

It really, really isn't worth this amount of personal investment. Let it go.

I wouldn't do anything TBH, just sounds like a bit of a personality clash. Annoying, but no point escalating it.

Yes she was rude.

Doesn't matter if you were overdoing it (...in her opinion) - the 'Woah - chill' approach is rude, patronising, and out of order.

But - it sounds like she's a twat by all accounts, so that explains it!

I think you took the right approach with the raised eyebrow. Now, you follow that on - if she says anything like that again, the correct reply is (with a BIG smile)

'Pipe down please - that's the second time you've commented on my approach - sounds like you're the one who needs to chill, why don't you do that by realising that how I speak to our clients is none of your business? Thanks Grumpy'

I think she was fucking rude to be honest. A lot of people who work in care homes are. You sound like a good one who makes the people there a little happier, having a joke with them. I'd ignore her silly remark but if she was rude again I would pull her up on it in private.

Ignore her rude comments. Who cares if she thinks you should chill? The poor bloke who has been in hospital for ages likes a natter and he's the important one. Keep doing what you are doing.

I might be tempted to mention this conversation to your boss, just in case it gets twisted into something else at any time.

Is your colleague a nurse or a hca? In my experience some nurses have little respect for hca's, especially if they (the hca) have a good rapport with the patient. In your situation I would have asked, away from the patient, if something you were doing was upsetting her and tell her you would prefer she discuss such things with you away from the patient in future.

She sounds immensely rude.

I mean who does she think she is?

I would have said "pardon?" In a very unimpressed voice

It was away from the patient .

I can be chatty but not in an annoying way.

Perhaps some don't find it annoying but some most likely do.

She didn't tell you to "shut the fuck up" which would most definitely have been rude.

I've just remembered that I had to work with a colleague who was very "chatty". It drove me, and others, completely and utterly bonkers. I doubt she realised.