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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a sleeve tattoo done on my arm?

310 replies

JellyDiamonds · 12/10/2014 13:00

Ive been looking at getting another tattoo done for a while now but have been unsure on what to get done and where. Whilst looking online for inspiration I've seen some amazing sleeve tattoos and have decided that I want one of them, the designs and artistry are amazing. I think that if they are done properly by decent tattoo artists then they are like works of art.

The thing is that everyone I've told about it has looked at me like I'm going mad. My mum was absolutely horrified, said that they are "revolting" and that I'll look like a sailor. But I don't think I will, I saw a photo on Facebook of a friend of a friend and she had a floral sleeve on her arm and yet still managed to look feminine. Not that I'm particularly feminine and girly anyway, but the point I'm trying to make is that not all sleeve designs are for blokes who start fights in pubs which what my mum was clearly trying to get at.

Should I just bite the bullet and go for it?

OP posts:
Roussette · 13/10/2014 16:00

It is a case of live and let live but as said upthread I wouldn't expect to deal with someone in a customer facing role with loads of tattoos. I do find the facial, neck and hand ones completely awful and can't get my head round them at all. I do remember someone with a line of dashes across his neck saying 'cut here' when I was a teen and that to me was gobsmacking.

However, my DD revealed hers to me this summer, she got it done 2-3 years ago unbeknown to me and was worried what I was going to say! Because of what it is and where it is, I was surprised she was so worried about saying anything, and did say 'you should know me better than that', I am not judgemental - it isn't visible except in a bikini. However, I know I would be upset if it was totally visible, she has beautiful skin and to me it would take away from that.

FindoGask · 13/10/2014 16:09

"I think people who make assumptions about my intelligence, judgment and self esteem are (a) Dim themselves "

Yes, pretty much. Threads like this always bring out the mouth-breathers.

I don't expect everyone to like tattoos, because since I was about 6, I've been able to grasp the concept that not everybody likes the same things I do. I don't understand a lot of stuff in life - the difference between debt/deficit, particle physics, etc - but that didn't cause me any bother at all.

On the other hand, people on this thread are almost boastful about their inability to manage this simple feat. Like the person who said they wouldn't employ someone if they knew they had a tattoo. To me that seems like saying you wouldn't employ someone who eats cheese, when you yourself do not like cheese. "It would make me question their judgement". Not everyone likes cheese, and so just brazenly going around eating cheese, despite what I think about it...well, that just screams ishoos to me".

YackityYakYak · 13/10/2014 16:13

If you're referring to me, I said that if it was a toss up between two candidates, then I would more likely employ the one without the tattoos.

In the end SOMETHING will make you choose between two candidates, won't it?

Oh and I wouldn't employ someone who doesn't eat cheese in a cheese shop..... It's a similar sort of thing, isn't it?

If you choose a role where appearance MATTERS, then you make sure your appearance suits the role.

FindoGask · 13/10/2014 16:17

"Oh and I wouldn't employ someone who doesn't eat cheese in a cheese shop..... It's a similar sort of thing, isn't it?"

Erm... not really, no.

chickensaresafehere · 13/10/2014 16:25

I have a full sleeve tattoo & I love it Smile

Original poster
JellyDiamonds · 13/10/2014 16:42

You should chose the right candidate based on their ability to do the job to a high standard and NOT based on what they look like Yackity

The cheese shop comparisons is just ridiculous quite frankly.

OP posts:
Polonium · 13/10/2014 16:48

Apparently tattooed people are also labelling themselves as being more sexually promiscuous. If that's what you're trying to convey then no doubt it's a very efficient means of cutting to the chase. I see now why people have tattooed arses, breasts and scrotums. But if being promiscuous wasn't your intended sartorial subtext, you might want to go for the dip dyed hair instead.

bottleofbeer · 13/10/2014 16:56

Sexually promiscuous? Blimey, I've got a few words and a crap flower. Not a depiction of a raging hard on Grin

YackityYakYak · 13/10/2014 17:04

Ok, even I find the 'promiscuous' bit laughable....

But if presentation and what you look like is PART of the job, Jelly then it is fair to base it on what they look like, insofar as they CHOOSE what they look like.

It is absolutely a lack of conformity which doesn't lend itself to certain industries. If you WANT that, then brilliant! But you can't them complain about it.

But I guess its a similar reason why some people would never send their children to schools with strict uniform and makeup/hair policies. I appreciate those policies, and I guess that says a lot about me..... maybe more than I had previously thought!!!

BlueKarou · 13/10/2014 17:05

So many judgy people...

I have several tattoos, one quite visible. And yes, Polonium I also have dyed hair (blue & green if you want to know, it looks pretty darn awesome and makes me feel rather good about myself) I am not promiscuous and can't imagine anyone who has met me would accuse me of that. Likewise I am not a hairdresser - I actually have a highly-skilled job within IT. Not the most exciting of jobs, but definitely not the picture you seem to be painting.

OP - if you love it then by all means go for it. My tattoo technique is to work out a design (and my art skills are nigh on non-existent) and then to give it a couple of months before committing to it. That way I can be satisfied that it's something I like.

Sadly it seems like there are some very negative opinions on this thread. I've yet to have anyone say anything negative about my tattoos to my face, so I think it might just be a case of people being more polite IRL and more eager to pass judgement online.

Bunbaker · 13/10/2014 17:11

My friend's daughter had a gun tattooed on her thigh. She wore shorts to go on holiday and they wouldn't let her on the plane unless she covered up the tattoo. Luckily her friend had a spare dress in her hand luggage that she could wear.

Now that is what many people would consider inappropriate - a possibly controversial subject that is visible.

HoneyDragonMumshnet · 13/10/2014 17:13

What's wrong with being sexually promiscuous, I fail to see why having numerous sexual encounters is a negative thing, tattoos or not?

SirChenjin · 13/10/2014 17:14

You'll not get many (if any) people passing judgement in RL because tattoos are common now - but certain types of tattoos, like the very visible ones such as sleeves, tend to be seen on people who are pride themselves on not conforming to the norm etc etc, and that does affect others judgements. There are careers where a visible sleeve tattoo is a no-go (NHS dress code in my Board, for example) but you would get away with it in an IT or design role which tends to attract the geeky or artistic types or are less mainstream than law, medicine or accountancy, for example. It's all 'tends to' though.

Personally I think sleeves look tacky and will look very dated, very quickly as all tattoos tend to do. As for the idea of seeing in 50 years time on wrinkly, skinny or bingo-winged arms - not so keen.

Sallystyle · 13/10/2014 17:14

Promiscuous? hahaha

I wish I had been!

Sallystyle · 13/10/2014 17:17

I don't see why my wrinkly skinny bingo-winged arms will look worse just because of my tat.

Everything will be wrinkled and I bet I will look at it with fondness and I will own my wrinkly tattoos with pride! With pretty much 90% of the population.

BlueKarou · 13/10/2014 17:21

You calling me geeky, Sir ? Wink

Ok, fair cop.

Jelly - if you do ever need to find a new job then just wear long sleeves for the interview, then if you get the offer, just say 'I have an inoffensive usually visible tattoo, is that going to cause any problems?' By that point they'll have made their judgements on your abilities, not your body choices.

SirChenjin · 13/10/2014 17:22

That's your opinion - I don't think it will be an attractive look. An individual wrinkly tattoo is one thing, but a whole wrinkly bingo winged sleeve is something quite different. But hey - each to their own Smile

SirChenjin · 13/10/2014 17:23

Yep - damn right I am Blue Grin

Certainly ask the question of an employer - but equally, be prepared to be told that there is a dress code which requires you to cover your tattoos.

BlueKarou · 13/10/2014 17:30

That's why the best time to bring it up with a potential employer is between getting offered the job and taking it/walking away - that way the decision's made on the right merits, and you get the choice of whether to accept the employer's terms, or whether to walk away.

When I got my inner arm tattooed I wore long sleeves for the whole of the healing time because no one needs to see that, and I checked with my Line Manager who then checked with the department head. I figured worst case scenario would be they would want it covered up if meeting with any 3rd party suppliers/contractors etc, but they were fine with it.

YackityYakYak · 13/10/2014 17:32

But the OP has asked if she should get it...

If she needs to ask, then no I don't think she should get it.

Because I don't think she either WANTS it enough or is CONFIDENT enough to deal with any possible negative consequences. Otherwise she wouldn't be second guessing herself.

If nothing else, I think you should wait Jelly, because RIGHT NOW, you're asking for others for confirmation as to whether you should get one or not.

captainproton · 13/10/2014 17:34

I wouldnt employ someone with visible tattoos because they divide opinion. I agree that anyone working in a customer facing industry like mine where you are expected to meet and hopefully create business with people of all nations, cultures and faiths, shows serious lack of judgement if they turn out to have a visible tattoo.

if you dont work in this type of industry or genuinely dont give a shit if people think they make you look trashy then go for it.

I dont mind them, but I can see it bothers a lot of people.

Fairenuff · 13/10/2014 17:41

Threads like this always bring out the mouth-breathers.

What are 'mouth-breathers' Findo?

SirChenjin · 13/10/2014 17:42

Oh absolutely - bring it up if you've been offered the job, but be prepared for them to tell you that you would have to cover up (and to withdraw the offer if you refuse). Equally, if you don't feel you want to work somewhere with a dress code like that then you may decide not to take the job.

However, visible tattoos can and do sway employers opinions. DH, for example, would not employ anyone with a visible tattoo because a)he can pick and choose from candidates, b)it wouldn't go down well with his clients, and c)it doesn't give the right kind of impression of the company. If you've got a sleeve tattoo and coloured hair you probably wouldn't want to work in that kind of environment anyway - but to say that employers should only employ on merit is naive.

combust22 · 13/10/2014 17:56

OP- why are you asking us?

I wouldn't employ anyone with a visible tattoo- they look cheap and ugly.

HoneyDragonMumshnet · 13/10/2014 18:00

The amount of posters who say they wouldn't employ people based on what they look like versus actual skill kind of explains the Banking Crisis Grin