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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel I almost have to apologise for being veggie...

409 replies

Loopylala7 · 11/10/2014 22:12

We were invited out tonight with a big group, but I couldn't go due to no babysitter. Anyway DH casually mentions that, well there was nothing on the menu for me anyway. This is following a holiday where being a vegetarian was considered weird, so had to survive on junk food.

These are just a few of my recent experiences. TBH I feel lucky if I go to a restaurant and have two dishes to choose from. Am I being unreasonable to think this is unreasonable?

OP posts:
ChippingInLatteLover · 12/10/2014 22:43

Rufus Another time I lived in Spain for a while, I ate at the Bocadillo's more than is good for anyone & some of the Tapas wasn't too bad either, but we drank lots of beer and sangria so food wasn't too important! Grin

But I cannot face Potata Bravas anymore... Just Can't Do It.

RufusTheReindeer · 12/10/2014 22:44

mum

Very funny Grin

Should admit that I'm not the best vegetarian in the world...but I make an effort!!

Bolshybookworm · 12/10/2014 23:02

Talking of eating abroad, one of the best places for me was, weirdly, Japan. They love their food there and they're super-accommodating, so if you can get across to the staff that you're veggie they'll make you something from scratch. Can't guarantee 100% that it won't have dried fish flakes in it (I don't eat fish), but they really do try. Also, the tofu there is in a different league, mind-blowingly good.

France, on the other hand.......
I've eaten out lots in France, and unless you're in the alps (fondue!!) or a big city, it's really hard.
I've been to restaurants and said (in bad French) "I don't eat meat, but is it possible to have these vegetable based menu items without meat?". They tell me "no, but this is our veggie option". Order it, it's a salad covered in lardons. Repeat ad infinitim.....

Oh, and YY to the plain boiled vegetables, had those maaaaany times Sad

muminthecity · 12/10/2014 23:09

I'm new to vegetarianism myself Rufus, I was merrily eating parmesan the other day, I had no idea how it was made Blush. Won't make that mistake again!

RufusTheReindeer · 12/10/2014 23:21

mum

Not new Blush

ChippingInLatteLover · 12/10/2014 23:54

Bolshy that's because you are naive and didn't research every single location you might have wanted to eat in, in France!!

mum it's all a learning curve. I think the thing most new vegetarians are surprised about is how many sweets have beef or pork geletin in them, but yet lots of things you would expect not to be vegetarian are (some of the bisto gravey range, lots of crisps, frazzles Grin).

muminthecity · 13/10/2014 00:35

chipping I knew about sweets because I work with a lot of Muslim children who aren't allowed them because of the animal products. I was however, delighted to find that the chicken and sweet corn noodle mugshots are vegetarian. While I was browsing the vegetarian society website earlier I was most disturbed to find that Guinness and some other beers are made using fish bladders Shock! It certainly is a learning curve!

commuter123 · 13/10/2014 08:16

Ah the french and their 'vegetarian' lardons! I think maybe because its cutted up it doesn't count?

We once ordered a 'veggie burger' in a swanky place in Paris. We were asked how we wanted it cooked. It was a sliced avocado in a bun and the veggie green salad was leaves and, yes you guessed it, a layer of lardons in the bottom!

The staff came out of the kitchen as we were helpless with laughter.

The very very worst meal abroad was in Italy....

HSMMaCM · 13/10/2014 08:24

I know they don't always have a chef in a pub, but bangers and mash could be made with veggie sausages. Roast dinner with a nut roast. Etc. These are things that could be kept in a freezer, so not go to waste. My veggie fussiness extends to not particularly liking rice, but I often end up eating it.

RufusTheReindeer · 13/10/2014 08:44

Went to a macdonalds in Asia (I know! I know!)

Ordered the Skins thinking it was potato skins

So so wrong!!

commuter123 · 13/10/2014 09:02

OH oh, let me guess... Chicken or pork?

RufusTheReindeer · 13/10/2014 09:17

Chicken

Even my meat eating husband had kittens!!

Actually surprised they weren't on the menu Hmm

fascicle · 13/10/2014 09:25

ChippingInLatteLover
No, the phone call doesn't make you the centre of attention Hmm but the fecking waiting staff certainly do. It's not short sighted it's simply a desire to choose something off of a menu like everyone else. It's vegetarian not some weird eating issue that no one else has ever heard of.

So if you phone ahead, the waiters treat you differently?

If a restaurant has a few crappy vegetarian options, and doesn't get much demand for them, and vegetarian customers don't ask for anything different, how is the restaurant supposed to improve its vegetarian options?

If you don't want to have 'all of this fuss' as you put it, how do you handle going to dinner at other people's houses?

I think it's crazy to expect people to be telepathic about your dietary requirements and preferences. People with food allergies don't have the luxury of hoping to be well catered for without some communication.

That said, I do think food options for dietary requirements, and understanding of different diets, have improved greatly over the last couple of decades. I say that as someone who has been a vegan for 26 years.

hackmum · 13/10/2014 09:52

Apologies for not reading the whole thread. I've been a vegetarian for 30 years and generally find the UK is pretty good, as long as you eat in Indian or Italian restaurants - and most pubs will include at least one veggie option these days. In fact, I can't remember the last time I went to a restaurant in the UK that didn't have a vegetarian option. However a little while ago I went on a business trip to a large cosmopolitan American city and was invited out to a group meal - and there wasn't a single vegetarian option on the menu. I was surprised at that.

VenusRising · 13/10/2014 10:10

I've never had any trouble with being vegetarian, dairy or egg free.

I quiz the wait staff relentlessly, and get talking with the chefs.

I have no shame to badger them about their methods in the kitchen on the phone before hand, or during the time when we are in the restaurant. I always read the menu online if I can before hand.

The advantage of all this wittering is that I am a fabulous cook, as I ask every chef I meet how they cook such and such, and they all love talking about their dishes, ingredients and preparations.

My fellow diners are very happy to pick up tips too- indeed some of us are even more relentless in their quizzing, as they have a fish / shellfish allergy so bad they carry an epi pen: they need to be assured there are separate knives and chopping boards and utensils.

I love eating out- especially middle eastern, northern African and kosher Jewish food. Of course Indian/ Thai / Japanese are great too.

fatlazymummy · 13/10/2014 10:10

I've never had any problems with eating out either, though I don't eat at actual restaurants with chefs. I know some of them tend to not like cooking vegetarian foods.
I eat at the harvester (has about 5 vegetarian options), Indian restaurants, pizza huts or the odd pub lunch.Even the wimpy does a very nice spicy bean burger.

PterodactylTeaParty · 13/10/2014 10:37

mum that list is brilliant. The 'helpfully pointing out the veggie options' thing drives me crazy (quietly, because they are after all just trying to help). "Oooh look, unspecified-vegetable lasagna! That looks yummy!" Yummy enough for you to order it? No, I didn't think so.

Also this thread is weird. I love how vegetarians are unreasonable for wanting more choice on menus at all, and also unreasonable for not making more of a fuss about crap veggie options.

commuter123 · 13/10/2014 11:14

I've been veggie for years and am most certainly not a fussy pain in the backside. There's only one thing I downright refuse to eat (after getting violently ill when I was pregnant after eating it, and I've never been able to eat it since).

The fussiest eaters are 'faddy' eaters. I know 2 who profess to be vegetarian - but still eat fish and meat (???). I've been to restaurants where they have ummed and ahhed over a menu, interrgated the staff loudly 'I'm vegearian! What can I eeeeeeat?' Then gone for the veal. Hmmmmmm.

Quite a few people don't know I'm veggie because I don't make a song and dance and am deleriously happy if I have more than one choice on a menu. I went veggie in the 80s ('the cheese salad years').

Actually, the fussiest eater is a friend who won't eat onions, mushrooms or tomatoes. Arggggg!

My friends really enjopy my veggie cooking and I have cooked meat for them too. They make lovely veggie food for me when I go over and everyone eats the same.

I'm in an area with a lot of muslims and althiugh there are halal restaurants, most folks will just go for veggie options in other places. So that would make the % of people wanting veggie food in restaurants waaay over 50% here I'd say.

pissovski · 13/10/2014 11:57

Try being a veggie who doesn't like spicy food! So many times, when people ask what they could cook for veggie friends (on MN and in other places), everyone shouts out "oh just do a veggie curry or chilli, they'll love it!" I just think, how about asking what they might like!!

I am lucky as I love pasta, mushrooms and cheese. A local restaurant does a mushroom carbonara which is just perfect for me! but I don't like anything spicy, or any goat's cheese concoction. I am another who has had a variety of sides at meals out in the past.

Bolshybookworm · 13/10/2014 12:08

The wimpy veggie burger is a running joke between me and DH, fatlazymum as I was once given a totally inedible one in a motorway service station. I had the temerity to ask for one without mayonnaise, the waitress wasn't happy about this and so gave me one that had obviously been sat around for a looooong time. Was completely dried out and literally inedible (I got a refund and went to pizzahut). We make a joke about it every time we stop on the motorway Grin

Reading this thread, you should all just come round to mine for dinner. I'm happy to accommodate all your eating requirements (y'know, because you'd be my guests) and I make a mean veggie sausage and mash with onion gravy!

thomasinathetankengine · 13/10/2014 13:36

What kind of things would you like to see on pub/restaurant menus? Genuinely curious, not passive aggressively curious! I have to admit to often going for asian flavours or tapas/mezze style menus when having veggies over but tbh we eat that type of thing often anyway.

writtenguarantee · 13/10/2014 13:41

Britain is still very crap at veggy food.

really? I'll admit, I haven't spent much time out of urban Britain, but I find veggie food easy to get (I live in London). It's rare that a place has NOTHING vegetarian, and usually it's obvious from the name ("joe's fish and steak house").

I too don't like going to a restaurant and having something made especially for a vegetarian, unless I really trust they will do something well. But, as I said, it's been a while since I have had to ask. Given the choice we have, I just avoid any place that seems like they would be veggie unfriendly.

GhettoFabulous · 13/10/2014 13:50

Glasgow has been rated as the top vegan hotspot in the uk, to the delight of my OH when he moved here.

Poopooweewee · 13/10/2014 13:58

Try being a veggie that's allergic to eggs! If I'm invited to dinner people will try and accommodate me, they usually make me something like pasta with a veggie sauce, thinking they are being really sweet in ensuring my dietary needs are met, but not realising that fresh pasta is made with eggs. It's quite embarrassing sometimes because you can't help but feel like you're being awkward! Restaurants are another minefield. If there is a veggie option available, 50% of the time there will be eggs as part of the ingredients arghghghg !!

Poopooweewee · 13/10/2014 13:59

I'm moving to Glasgow!