Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel I almost have to apologise for being veggie...

409 replies

Loopylala7 · 11/10/2014 22:12

We were invited out tonight with a big group, but I couldn't go due to no babysitter. Anyway DH casually mentions that, well there was nothing on the menu for me anyway. This is following a holiday where being a vegetarian was considered weird, so had to survive on junk food.

These are just a few of my recent experiences. TBH I feel lucky if I go to a restaurant and have two dishes to choose from. Am I being unreasonable to think this is unreasonable?

OP posts:
OneStepCloser · 12/10/2014 18:56

Its not so much the choice of veggie menu its the fact that we are offered the same boring thing each time, usually stodge rice oo lala otherwise known as risotto or a pasta with water tomato sauce, its just a shame that some chefs seem to have nothing else to offer. If theres only one choice on a menu and a lot of thought and effort has been put into the flavours and end result then I`m really happy. Its not an awfully big ask.

Lots of meat eaters have the vege option for a variety of reasons.

Ooo, yes, a recommendation for anyone if they visit margate, on the habour there a truly lovely eatery which has a good selection of Vege and Meat options, all cooked there and then and superb. yy I know, Margate, but you might be visiting the Tate, or just got lost on the way to Dover to catch the ferry to France Grin

summersover · 12/10/2014 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greengrow · 12/10/2014 19:03

I virtually never eat out. Food is nicer and better at home so I doubt you lose much by staying in more and it's a lot cheaper - win win all round!

I eat loads of veg (paleo eater although I do have fish most days and eggs every day and some meat).

Rumandcokeplease · 12/10/2014 19:05

Yes, milk comes from live cows, but like humans cows have to have a calf to produce milk. What do you think happens to all of those calves when they are taken away from their mothers when they're only a few days old? Oh yeah, that's right, they get shipped off to France and eaten!!

fascicle · 12/10/2014 19:09

ChippingInLatte
It was while travelling in France a few years ago that I stopped being vegan Sad I just couldn't find stuff to eat 'out'. Fine if buying from a market or supermarket, but travelling companions don't always want to do that - understandably.

Out of interest, did you do much research on finding vegan food in France before you went? Did you take any food with you?

Over here, do you phone ahead to restaurants to see what vegetarian options they can do? In my experience, it makes a huge difference. If a restaurant doesn't have much call for vegetarian meals, there might not be much choice on the menu. That doesn't mean they can't offer more (interesting) options with advance warning.

fizzymittens · 12/10/2014 19:11

Rum or shot in the head at birth which is what some dairy farms do.

ChippingInLatteLover · 12/10/2014 19:26

fasicle frankly, it was nigh on impossible to find vegetarian food, let alone vegan food. As I said, the problem I had, was eating out. I'm not going into a restaurant with my pack-up, so taking food is irrelevant. But no I didn't take food as they have plenty of fresh vegetables etc in France, when I wished to cook for myself.

Sometimes I phone ahead, but it always turns into a drama and makes me the centre of attention which I hate. So I put up with the boring single option on the menu. It shouldn't have to be this way.

What they do with the calves isn't relevant to what Rum posted.

duhgldiuhfdsli · 12/10/2014 19:36

It shouldn't have to be this way.

What do you suggest as an alternative? Do you believe that restaurants have planning meetings in which they consider popular, high-selling vegetarian options and then remove them from the menu just to piss you off?

ChippingInLatteLover · 12/10/2014 19:38

No, I'd like to just have a quiet grumble with like minded people, if that's OK with you.

Bolshybookworm · 12/10/2014 19:41

That's exactly how I feel chunky. I don't mind if there's only one or two choices on a menu but I do mind that they are always one of the same 3 dishes (lasagne/risotto/goats cheese tart). To me, it says a lot about a chef if they can't work out how to make a decent veggie meal, it's not hard. If I go to a restaurant or pub with decent veggie options I tend to go there repeatedly, so I do vote with my feet in that respect.

And duh, if I always dictated where we went out with friends, I'd come across as a right control freak, the sort of fussy person that someone would start an AIBU about Grin
This means putting up with a lot of fecking mushroom risotto, unfortunately.

RufusTheReindeer · 12/10/2014 19:42

chipping

Don't tell anyone but I do think they do it to piss me off!!! Just me you understand...ssshhh don't tell anyone else. They will think I'm paranoid!!

It's not paranoia if everyone really is against you

SuburbanRhonda · 12/10/2014 19:50

As pointed out upthread, "vegetarian" food can be eaten by anyone in theory, so it's bad business sense not to provide a good range of vegetarian options. The only time it would be a financial risk would be if the food was actually crap, rather than just because it's suitable for vegetarians.

duhgldiuhfdsli · 12/10/2014 19:50

To me, it says a lot about a chef if they can't work out how to make a decent veggie meal, it's not hard.

There was a thread a few months ago about someone wanting to have peas, rather than carrots (or whatever) with a meal in a pub. The pub refused, on the grounds it would throw their portion control off.

In most of the "normal" restaurants that appear to be the target of people's animus on this thread, there isn't a chef, nor anything like it. There's someone putting pre-portioned, pre-prepared food, bought in frozen, into either a microwave or a water bath. There's someone putting pre-prepared, frozen food into a deep fat fryer. And there's someone slapping pieces of meat on a griddle for the steaks, which is probably the only food that even approximates "fresh". That's it. There isn't a "chef" in any useful sense of the word.

duhgldiuhfdsli · 12/10/2014 19:51

it's bad business sense not to provide a good range of vegetarian options.

So why is it that restaurants aren't listening to your advice? can be eaten by anyone in theory is true, but restaurants are more interested in what they order in practice.

Bolshybookworm · 12/10/2014 19:52

duh I'm not convinced that anyone buys the "popular" meat free choices as they're often very dull. I think it's laziness rather than popularity that keeps the familiar options on the menu.

maybe If restaurants put a vague bit of effort into their meat-free meals, people might buy them. I have plenty of meat eating friends who like to eat veggie a few days a week. They would (and do) happily buy a veggie meal if it actually sounds nice (as opposed to dull, reheated stodge). It's not just vegetarians who'd like a nice meat-free option.

ChippingInLatteLover · 12/10/2014 19:54

No, I'm not paranoid either Rufus I really think they are out to get us!

Shock Grin

A lot of my friends like vegetarian food and order it if we find anything nice, however, so often it's so boring they go for the meat option. And as I said earlier, a lot of us would eat out more often if there were good choices available.

SuburbanRhonda · 12/10/2014 19:55

So why is it that restaurants aren't listening to your advice.

I didn't say I was giving advice, it was my opinion. Sorry not to have mentioned that I'm not a financial advisor Hmm

duhgldiuhfdsli · 12/10/2014 19:56

maybe If restaurants put a vague bit of effort into their meat-free meals, people might buy them.

Do you think they'd buy more? If not, why bother expending the effort and taking the risk to sell the same number of meals? Do you think they'd pay more? If not, why bother?

I realise this is basically the old joke about two economists walking down the street, one saying "look, there's a ten pound note" and the other saying "it can't be real, as otherwise someone would have picked it up already". But do you really think that the entire UK restaurant industry is leaving money on the table?

duhgldiuhfdsli · 12/10/2014 19:58

And as I said earlier, a lot of us would eat out more often if there were good choices available.

So why not tell a restaurant this, and see what they say? Commit to come in once a week, or something.

Bolshybookworm · 12/10/2014 20:03

TBH duh, I've often had better food at cheap pubs than high end restaurants. At least in a cheap pub I expect the food to taste cooked from frozen, and they'll often have "light bites" options like chilli, omelettes, sandwiches etc, so at least I have a broader choice.

What is galling is high end (and expensive!) restaurants serving you something that you know you could make at home and do it 20 times better, whilst all your friends are served gourmet food.

PterodactylTeaParty · 12/10/2014 20:22

So why not tell a restaurant this, and see what they say?

You're assuming 'give feedback' hasn't occurred to any of us? Really?

Also I've worked in the catering industry (for an individually-owned place, not a big chain, but very much with the kind of your-vegetarian-option-is-a-cheese-sandwich approach that I find so frustrating when I'm the customer). The idea that every chef or restaurant owner is a business-savvy entrepreneur whose every menu choice is carefully calculated to maximise profit in terms of their local market is... a little optimistic, to put it lightly.

RufusTheReindeer · 12/10/2014 20:29

I would agree with those who say that quite often the veggie option is boring

If there is pasta it's usually in tomato sauce..that's a piece of piss to make!! And they are asking a tenner plus for it, it's cheap as chips to make

Oh and melon starter at a Christmas do....good god!!!

tippytappywriter · 12/10/2014 20:32

Given that one in eight adults is vegetarian I am surprised at the lack of choice (it has got a bit better in the last 30 years). However I can cope with restaurants or cafes having not much choice. The thing that really pees me off is unwanted opinions about my choices and my health. I'd never do the same to someone else who chose to eat meat.

duhgldiuhfdsli · 12/10/2014 20:37

I would agree with those who say that quite often the veggie option is boring

It would also be interesting to find out how many veggies are wide-ranging gourmets who eat anything, just so long as it isn't meat, and how many veggies are fussy in other, more unpredictable ways (Lena Dunham's gag about “a lot of times when you are a vegetarian it is a just not very effective eating disorder” doesn't just apply to the anorexia she was originally speaking of). My experience of adult vegetarians is that a disproportionate number of them have either complex likes and don't likes. I suspect the market for strongly flavoured, "interesting" vegetarian food, outside communities where it's a staple, is quite small. "More research needed".

RufusTheReindeer · 12/10/2014 20:42

Which is weird because my experience of adult meat eaters is they are stuck in such a fucking rut with their likes and dislikes that they wouldn't recognise gourmet if it smacked them over the head

Just so funny how everybody's experiences of life are so different

Go figure!!