To think there is a MORAL OBLIGATION to share recipes if asked?

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Look, it's just a pickle recipe. Your daughter gave me a jar, it tasted delicious and I asked for the recipe when I'd finished the jar because we'd all fought over the last spoonful.

You live 200 miles away and you have refused to give out the recipe.

It's an outrage.

Yup
Pathetic not to.

My Mum got a recipe for a pork casserole many years ago from a magazine. She still cooks it, so does my sister, so do I. It's a great recipe that everyone loves and we've all dished out the recipe to lots of people (it's very easy, no browning requires so works well in a slow cooker). The only problem is that the recipe we make tastes different depending who makes it. We all vary the recipe in different ways so sharing the recipe doesn't work because cooks never follow recipes, we fiddle, fiddle, fiddle with them.

Lucia doesn't share her 'Lobster a la Riseholme' recipe with Mapp. Mapp breaks in to her house by the sea. A storm is coming. Lucia catches Mapp in her kitchen. The levy breaks and both ladies are swept away, out to sea, on an upturned kitchen table, to be rescued by an Italian trawler and spend several months waiting to return to their beloved Tilling.

Moral of the story - share recipes or who knows what 'pickle' you might get into...

What Games says is true though. My friend's mum always made us Fried Egg sandwiches with Apple chutney when we came home from the local teen disco/pub. Delicious. My mum made the chutney according to the correct recipe but it tasted really different, still nice, but not the same.

My mum makes the BEST bread pudding, but when I asked her for the recipe she hummed and hawed about it for ages. It turned out that she didn't measure any of the ingredients - just a "handful of this" "half a handful of that" and even better "a Don teaspoon of spice" which was a teaspoon my dad pinched from his mum that is slightly bigger than a 'normal' teaspoon.

She ended up having to make a batch and weigh at every single stage - it's the strangest recipe, works, but STILL isn't as good as my mums.

I have a lovely friend who dishes up the same recipe at every social event. It's produced with pomp and always with "don't ask me the recipe, I'll never tell" TBH its a bit meh and I have to force myself to have some.

So people who don't share recipes get over yourself, it just maybe not be all that special and if someone does like it be gracious and give them the bloody recipe.

The secrecy about 'family recipes' is really very silly. It's just cooking, and you're not even looking to make money out if it or anything that might constitute a reason for secrecy. What if you offspring don't give a shit about your precious recipe? Then you'll wished you'd passed it in to people who might use it.

If you want chewy cookies, melt the butter before you add it and take them out while they still look underdone.

The only recipes that I don't share are for some particular dishes that my father learnt when he was a child and he taught to me. That's because there is no recipe, it's not written down anywhere.

Protecting family recipes is the height of twattery. Full of self importance that no one else gives a toss about.

There are 60 gazillion recipes out there, there is no way on earth your granny's toast recipe is worth protecting. Grow the fuck up.

I think it's a bit precious to have a "family recipe" that you won't share.

I give people a rough idea of what I did/added if they ask and there's no proper recipe/measured ingredients. Better than pretending it's some big secret.

No one has ever refused to give a recipe, but if they did I think I'd nod sagely and give them a knowingly "you got it at Sainsburys" look.

YANBU OP of course you are right. All these in my family won't tell anyone crowd are really pathetic and sorry everyone you refuse to share the recipe thinks you are pathetic too (though will be too polite to show this).

My MIL who is quite strange but occasionally gives brilliant presents gave me a book of curries. We have people over quite a lot and everyone was so impressed by these curries so of course showed them the book. Every other couple now owns this book and we often fb each other "tried page 52 last night was fab" etc. Nice bonding thing.

For my sisters wedding I nicked an Australian idea and got all the guests to submit their best recipes then put them in a book as a wedding present for my sister. Sadly my sister not that into cooking but her new DH is (and I of course photocopied all the recipes some now my staple favourites).

I agree with Kerala . Not sharing is competitive and mean spirited, IME.

I was reading the Paul Hollywood webchat and when someone asked for a recipe his answer was "look online" or "Buy My Book"

I suppose he has to sell the books but c'mon you could've lavished a recipe or two, you were given and

The Martha Stewart chocolate chip recipe is online and it's amazing (though I had to go online to decipher what all purpose flour was and baking soda and how much a stick of butter was)
I will whip up a batch of these for Christmas Eve, white chocolate. They are way better than Millies (which sometimes taste a bit raw)

Yanbu. I find it irritating. In my experience, the secret recipe is do carefully guarded it is made clear you're not allowed yo ask - e.g 'you must try one of these simply divine boiled eggs, it's secret family recipe.' It's till only boiled eggs.

Well! You can all piss off!

If I make something from a book, magazine, blog etc, I'll happily point you towards the recipe. It's out there, get attable, knock yourself out.

But if it is mine, I worked at it, tried it out and muddled with it until it tasted good enough for you to want the recipe... you can fuck right off. It is mine!

I like baking and cooking. I like feeding people food that makes them smile, food they associate with me. And YOU WANT THAT FOR FOR FREE?

Find your own speciality. Work at your own recipe. Don't be so lazy/entitled.

What's mine is most definitely mine. Only I get to choose if I share it or not!

It'll be because one of the ingredients is highly illegal, or vomit inducing.

So it will either include heroin or baby penguin poo. It's best not to know.

ConcreteElephant Nice to see I wasn't the only person to immediately think of Mapp and Lucia when I saw this OP!

I genuinely don't care enough about things people cook for me to ask for recipes out if anything other than meaning a polite compliment. I doubt I'd ever actually cook it.. I hadn't realised so many people have 'signature dishes'. Wow

I like feeding people food that makes them smile, food they associate with me.

And you think the best way to preserve those smiles and associations is by refusing to share a recipe with someone you call a friend? I find that a little sad.

Yup I'd find it a little sad too. I don't know anyone who does this though. It would sour the relationship a bit I guess!

Great attitude Nomama. Weird competitive hostessing makes me shudder -very Hyacinth Bucket behaviour.

Share, spread the good news. If anyone asks me for a recipe I am very flattered and scrabble to get it for you. That said my mother will praise a recipe, get it from me, then re do it hilariously leaving out all the key ingredients that make it that particular dish. Eg great Spanish chicken recipe Kerala though I didn't bother adding the chorizo, orange or oregano. Ok so its just roast chicken then!

"I won't give anyone those recipes, except maybe dd one day."

I love the use of the word maybe. Maybe I'll pass it to my child, but if she seems like a blabbermouth - well, tough titty.

I agree with Kerala. Wouldn't want to eat at Nomama's. Bad attitude spoils the food and fun.