To be a bit miffed

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

My good friend (as in talk to each other daily friend) had her baby two weeks ago. Soon as baby came I said let me know when you're up for visitors. Nothing. Then again a week later. Still nothing. Then she said you can come on the weekend. I've swapped things around to see her tomorrow and she's now said can we come another weekend. I just feel a bit hurt my good friend doesn't want me to meet her little one particularly when her DHs friends have been to visit already.
Rant over I know I'm taking it personally and it's not about me.

Actually sharon you say in your OP that you where 'hurt my good friend doesn't want me to meet her little one'

So not an assumption actually!

Nanny there is no "normal" though is there - some people are up and about shopping and doing school runs the next day, others are still fastened down to the hospital bed by drips and drains after an emergency section or other non straightforward birth. It doesn't just depend which thread you read

I know. But this mum isn't still in hospital and has had other visitors.

She can do what she chooses, but I can see why the OP is miffed.

She may not have had a choice about the other visitors. She may have only seen them for half an hour or so and then left DH to entertain them. DH may have been on paternity for those visits and now isn't and she might be struggling to cope alone.

Why negatively judge a new mum for anything? Let alone not doing visits on her visitors timeframe.

I mean, OP mentions that her friend didn't get back to her about a visit in the first week! God, in my first week I was still shellshocked, friends no matter how close were not my priority, and I was so distracted that I didn't reply to any texts for several days.

I doubt any of my friends would have been 'miffed' because they love me and knew it wouldn't have been about them.

Her DH is still on paternity. They've been out to shopping centres pubs for lunch etc. I'm not a clueless self centred cunt wanting to impose myself on a mere acquaintance I know is really struggling to get dressed ffs

Point is, if she is struggling you don't necessarily know. No matter how close you are.

A new baby is different for everyone.

Could be their home is a shit tip.

You sound so pissed off with that last post, it's not a reaction I'd expect from a true friend whether I knew about it or not.

I do not understand why anyone wants it to be about them when a new baby arrives, what's wrong with letting the new parents call the shots?

You have extrapolated your friend not getting back to you immediately, and then cancelling on you once, as meaning she doesn't want you to meet her baby. Slight leap no?

Please don't take it personally, I remember everyone coming to see me and ds1 when he was about 3 weeks old. Family popped it as a good friend arrived, I completely freaked and opened the front door and sent them all packing. If only I
had been honest and tried not to accommodate everyone around meso all was

Incidentally, my DH is currently on paternity, DD is 3 weeks old. We have piles of activities planned, all just for us. No visitors welcome. Nothing is wrong with anyone, but we want family time. Friends can visit when DH is back at work, because his time with us is so bloody precious.

And if my friends translated that as me not wanting them to meet dd, or made it about them, or got miffed, then they are not true friends. And possibly a bit stupid and self centred too. Not saying this is you OP.

Incidentally, did you make it clear it was just you visiting, not your kids or DH as well?

Posted too soon. The reason I ask is that my sister was scheduled to visit, and I had to cancel her last minutes as I found out she was bringing her DP. I was happy to see DSis at 5 days pp, but not her boyfriend.

This is the thing. I dont want anyone to visit apart from family just yet is perfectly fine. But friends have been visiting as her DH has had his friends round. So that's why I feel a bit miffed. That's all, not because I think its all about me and I should be accommodated but I would say she is one if not my best friend as we speak to other by text daily at least!

Yes she knows it would be just me