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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want to put my 4 year old back in night time nappies

39 replies

supermoon100 · 10/10/2014 20:30

my 4 year old dd was dry at night for a while and now has started wetting the bed again, i don't want to put her back in nappies and nor does she but my dh is insisting (vehemently) that she does because of all hassle and dirty linen it causes, even though i've offered to be responsible for the linen myself - i think its a retrograde step too far - what do other people think or have done?

OP posts:

nocoolnamesleft · 10/10/2014 20:35

Erm, that the more important question is why they've started wetting again? Did they start ar school this time? If so, are they too tired to wake up if they need a wee? Or are they not drinking enough at school (really common)? Or being bullied? Or got a water infection? Or got constipated?

If you can work out why things have gone backwards, you might be able to improve things, and thus not need the nappy question.

Original poster

supermoon100 · 10/10/2014 21:18

Come to think of it, it did start around the beginning of school, even so, what do I actually do about it?

OP posts:

ilovepowerhoop · 10/10/2014 21:42

I would probably go back to nappies for a short while as changing the bed in the middle of the night is very disruptive

jamaisjedors · 10/10/2014 21:45

I would disagree. I would never go back to nappies this will not fix the problem.

But if we had a problem in the middle of the night while potty training, I used to flip the duvet and put a towel down under the child and go back to bed.

You can sort it out in the morning.

Four is way too old for nappies at night imo - prepares to be flamed!

ilovepowerhoop · 10/10/2014 21:45

although when dd went through a phase of wetting I started taking her to the toilet before I went to bed. I woke her a bit and made her go to the toilet so she was aware of what she was doing.

CrohnicallyPissedOff · 10/10/2014 21:48

What about bed pads (disposable or washable)? Less washing and easier to change in the night, but without the 'baby' association.

Akroniphadrakeina · 10/10/2014 21:48

DS went through a phase of this. I put the disposable bed mats under his sheet, so much easier! And made sure I had a spare change of sheets stacked ready in his wardrobe. I also lifted him onto the toilet when I went to bed, he almost always did something and didn't wake up. It was then only on the nights I didn't lift him that he wet the bed. I don't want to tempt fate, but it was just a phase! He seems to be fine again now.

ilovepowerhoop · 10/10/2014 21:49

Not all children are ready to be dry at night at age 4 - it relies on a hormone being produces that suppresses urine production in the night plus it needs the child to be able to wake up when their bladder is full.

What harm would a a short period of nappies do? Maybe everyone could catch up on their sleep for a start!

Gen35 · 10/10/2014 21:49

I'd just put those dry nite pads under her sheet and the potty right by the bed for a while. Why does your DH care if you're happy to do the laundry? I wouldn't want to do it if it would make my dd feel bad. Are you insisting on limiting liquids an hour before bed, wee before bed, that sort of thing? If see if it settles, my dd is nearly 4 and she's be really humiliated to go back to nappies.

julietbat · 10/10/2014 21:52

How long was she dry for? My DS (4) can be dry for a good few weeks at a time but then always goes back to wetting again. We've so nearly got to the point of removing the nappies completely but over time it's become apparent that he just isn't ready yet. The hormone that stops the kidneys producing so much wee at night hasn't kicked in yet. He doesn't like wearing nappies but we've explained to him that lots of children still do at his age and he's got a couple of friends who are still in pull-ups at the start of yr2 so he feels in good company!
If your DD is wetting again consistently and it's not just a starting school type blip I'd suggest going back to nappies. Otherwise you'll just end up with a wet bed and a frustrated daughter every morning . It really isn't something you can control. It'll happen when it happens.

Akroniphadrakeina · 10/10/2014 21:52

DS would also be humiliated to be put back in nappies. And anyway, how do you put a 4 year old in nappies when they don't want to be? You'd have to fight nigh on 25 kg of angry child and if you did succeed, surely they'd take it off as soon as you walk out of the room?

Iggly · 10/10/2014 21:53

She's probably exhausted from school so too tired to wake. Poor girl

Purplepoodle · 10/10/2014 21:55

Bed pads and make bed up triple waterproof sheet, bed pad, normal sheet, waterproof sheet, bed pad, normal sheet ect then you can just whip top layer off. Also perhaps put dd in nightie as easily changed

julietbat · 10/10/2014 21:55

Btw Jamaisjedors, being dry at night has absolutely nothing to do with potty training. You can't 'train' production of the specific hormone. So age has nothing to do with it.

PartyGateCrasher · 10/10/2014 21:55

DD nearly 8 has just gone through a phase again. I have put it down to new school year and her sleeping too heavily.

I used bed sheets on top of the fitted sheet for a few weeks and it has stopped again.

It happens every year.

Original poster

supermoon100 · 10/10/2014 21:57

Dh is quite bossy and controlling imo! Last night she woke up at 6 cos she had wet herself, he got up and sorted her out, stripped the bed etc and as a consequence blamed me for his interrupted night because of my no nappy policy. usually I strip the bed myself in the morning and make the bed again at night when mattress is dry, but a couple of times this week have not been back from work in time to put her to bed and therefore make her bed. So basically he has a massive problem with the whole thing cos it's making extra work for him - he thinks I'm wrong about it all, and we can't agree!

OP posts:

ChillyHeatwave · 10/10/2014 22:10

Akron...you don't fight them to put them in nappies. You get pull ups. My seven year old has never been dry at night. He is in year three. I am well aware he is 'too old' to be still wetting but we are under a pead for it. He is really good and gets them on, takes them off and puts them in the nappy bin. He quite often wets right through them so he also strips his bed if needed to dry it out and I make it up again for him during the day (he never wakes at night). It isn't a problem for him. We have explained about the hormone and that his body just isn't ready..despite his younger sibling being dry for two years already.

Op, if it is consistent I would put him in pull ups. He certainly won't be the only one in the class.

ilovepowerhoop · 10/10/2014 22:10

dont you use a mattress protector so the mattress doesnt get wet?

Stripeyfeet · 10/10/2014 22:13

DS spent most of year R in pull ups at night. He slept too heavily to notice he needed a wee. Just realised he's had a dry bed for about the last six months - woohoo! (Cue wet sheets for me in the morning!)

Original poster

supermoon100 · 10/10/2014 22:18

Am going to get mattress protector this weekend, so far I've been washing it down, and drying it, so it doesn't stink.

OP posts:

odyssey2001 · 10/10/2014 22:23

Don't lift. It won't help them develop an awareness of a full bladder which then wakes them up.

We are going through this ourselves at the moment, although our situation is not linked to starting school.

Go back into nappies until she is ready again. Dry nappies in the morning will tell you when it is time.

ilovepowerhoop · 10/10/2014 22:24

my two still have mattress protectors at age 8 and 11 as you never know when they are going to be sick/have a nose bleed and it saves the mattress getting ruined

FelixTitling · 10/10/2014 22:34

I invested in two of these plus extra bedding and washable duvets. I left a full set of spare bedding and an empty washing basket on the landing every night.

I only ever used pull-ups when staying in hotels or at other peoples houses.

Dh never got up as he had a long commute and tbh, I found it easier to do myself.

The kylies are brilliant and as a pp said, i still use them when the dc are ill or when little cousins stay over.

Also, as someone else has said, don't lift and don't restrict drinks. I did sit ds on the loo as I stripped the bed though and just put him back naked. He never wet twice and I would shower him in the morning. The time he wet got later and later until he started waking for a wee about 6am. He was about 5.5 then.

Good luck!

Tallypet · 10/10/2014 22:38

I'm sad to read that you think that 4 is too old for a night nappy jamais. Children develop at different paces. I spoke to my paediatrician yesterday who assured me that my DS (4 next month) is perfectly ok for night nappies for a while still.

They're babies, and are still learning to control themselves. A bit of understanding of this concept wouldn't go amiss instead of saying outright kids are too old for night nappies.

FelixTitling · 10/10/2014 22:45

I think it's when there has been a significant period of dry nights that going back to a nappy can seem like a step back, or that the child may be resistant as they know they can be dry.

My ds just refused to wear them, and I wanted to be positive for him. Wetting the bed was never seen as an issue or hassle in our house, just a minor blip that was quickly and easily dealt with.

If a 4 yr old has never been dry at night and is still happy in nappies, then of course it's ok.

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