to not want to put my 4 year old back in night time nappies

[supermoon100]

my 4 year old dd was dry at night for a while and now has started wetting the bed again, i don't want to put her back in nappies and nor does she but my dh is insisting (vehemently) that she does because of all hassle and dirty linen it causes, even though i've offered to be responsible for the linen myself - i think its a retrograde step too far - what do other people think or have done?

OP, I'll tell your our experience of night time wetness.

My 7yo DD has been dry since the age of 2.5yo. However she recently had a 6 month lapse where she was wetting the bed almost nightly.

We went to the GP and the school nurse, but no underlying reason could be found. As our DD was 6 at the time, we wanted her to be involved in deciding what we were going to do.

Initially we used the disposable bed mats (which are expensive, but did help protect the mattress and were very convenient) and DH/I would wash the sheets on a morning and replace them on an evening. It wasn't easy; I am a full-time student at uni 60 miles away and DH works 60hrs a week, but we were patient and never let DD feel as though her accidents were an inconvenience. It was not her fault, or something she was aware she could control.

We were told by the GP that they could prescribe desmopressin, but we were reluctant to go down that route. After a few months of wetting, DD became fed up and wanted an 'undisturbed' night, so she asked for night time pants. After a week of wearing them, she became night dry again. She has been dry for a couple of months now and hopefully we have come out the other side. However, we still have no obvious reason for the lapse.

What can I advise? I would suggest that starting school has affected her and it is likely that the accidents are related to that. I would go to the GP to rule out anything like a urine infection, however they will be reluctant to do any further investigations because your DD is so young. You could try night time pants for her, which are more similar to knickers than nappies and will ease the non-stop laundry. Most importantly though, be patient, consistent and calm; your DD isn't doing this on purpose and may well be distressed herself.

I would favour pullups myself, but I have a 7 year old just out of pullups in the last month, and only then because of her meds. Maybe the issue is that your DH thinks he will still get disturbed nights and end up doing the chances. Would he go for a 2 week trial, and you making sure you get up every time?

Normally I'm all for sharing the load, but I've had a bedwetting child for far too long to sacrifice more sleep than necessary.

pullups to bed. or pyjama pants. it will settle down again soon. better than wet sheets and being woken in the night. more dignified too.

and yes I expect that your dh is grumpy that you are making him extra work when it easily solved.

Oh for heaven's sakes! 4 years old and you're worried about nappies?

It doesn't even become a medical issue until they are 7, and even then it's still very common, just not talked about because of attitudes like those found on this thread.....

Get several mattress protectors (they can't be tumble dried, so you need drying time and in winter that won't be easy), and at least double sheet the bed - layering them so that when there's an accident just whip off the top one, throw on a spare duvet if needed (with a girl you probably won't, unlike boys who are like fire extinguishers and it goes EVERYWHERE).

If you REALLY don't want to put her in night pants, you can buy water retaining pyjama pants that look NO different to pyjamas on the ERIC website. They cost a lot of money - but are brilliant for children who are of the age of doing sleep overs. They don't look like they're wet.

Yy to Yackity

Nothing wrong with night time nappies, I always make sure mine go to the loo before bedtime esp my DD otherwise she can wet the bed in her sleep. Although now she will just take herself to the loo in the middle of the night if need be now she's older although I won't let her go to bed till she's had a final wee.

It makes you wonder how people coped before disposables and pull ups.

I certainly remember being encouraged to drink well in the day, empty my bladder before bed and then I was lifted when my parents went to bed Occasionally I remember a wet bed but no fuss being made about it.

These methods are still suggested by bed wetting clinics so are quite useful.

Stress can cause bed wetting at any age so starting school is probably a factor. She has already been dry at night so will be again soon. If it continues you could get her checked out but my bet is that it will right itself.

Your DH needs a bit of patience!

chilly he wouldn't see a difference. To him they are still nappies and we did use them before he went into pants.

There is a huge difference between putting/forcing a child back into nappies/pull-ups once they have been dry and them never having been out of them. DS was so desperately upset whenever he wet the bed no it would have been the ultimate humiliation for him to have had to wear them again. We have a waterproof fitted sheet form ikea. Throw in at 60 with rest of bedding, tumble dry. Really no extra hassle. And a dry mattress. We have two complete sets of bedding plus one almost set.

OP, if you don't have a waterproof protector on your mattress, what on earth do you do if your DD is sick on it?

P.S. Very jealous of you considering waking at 6 to be an interrupted night! 6am is standard wake up time here.

4 isn't too old for night time nappies.

My DS is 8 and still in nappies, because he has no bladder control, just constant dribbles. He's on meds but we've been told not to start training until he has a dry nappy for 2 hours at a time otherwise it can lead to toilet refusal.

That said, if you don't feel that nappies are best for your child then don't do them.

I don't use waterproof sheets. DS hates the sound of them, and he's usually in my bed anyway.

If he was sick... I'd clean it up

Anyway 6am is way past our getting up time! We have to leave at 7:45 so are up at 5:30 to make and eat breakfast, have baths/ showers and get ready and clothes ironed etc.

Is she usually wetting at 6? Maybe an alarm for the time she usually wets would help if it's just the tiredness stopping her waking. She can take herself off to the loo, then go back to sleep.

Funny...we had exactly the same experience with DS when he started school last week (he turns 4 next week) and I suggested going back into nappies - DH was against it at first. Nearly everyone on here agreed nappies were the way to go, so that's what we did. Will try again at half term.

a friend of mine refused to put her son back in pull-ups aged 5 because she felt it was a backward step.He is now 9 and she has washed his sheets daily for 4 years.Often the duvet gets soaked too as he sleeps on his back.She has just been to specialist clinic with him and they said not to lift,to drink lots during day to stretch bladder,no drinks after teatime and last wee day,get them to try twice to fully empty bladder.Other than that ,unless anxiety related, it is just waiting for this chemical to kick in and age can really vary. I would return to pull ups until fairly long period of consistently dry.

Do you take her out for a wee? I had to do this with DS until he was about 8 combined with not allowing drinks after 6pm with just the tiniest sip at bedtime. He would go to bed at 7pm and then I would lift him for a wee at 10pm when I went to bed. Cut down on accidents (and washing) massively.

Neither you not your DH are 'right' or 'wrong' as there's no 'right' answer to this one IMO - just different opinions. Sorry that's not very helpful! If you're the one dealing with the wet sheets then you should get the casting vote.